*sigh* S.A.D

[Matt Charlton]

Warning:: Huge moan ahead.

I could post this on my website, but then not many people will read it, thats not saying that I particulary want lots and lots of people to read this, I'm just kinda using it as an outlet.

I'm pretty sure I suffer with Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder (SAD). I was sure I had it last year as I felt down in the dumps most of winter and either I've forgotten how bad it was last year or its much much worse this year. Basically as soon as the nights start drawing in - getting up in the dark, getting home from work and its dark it just kinda knocks me for six.

Its hard to explain how I feel at the moment, I feel quiet teary today, I've felt really lethargic for weeks and I've got a whole can't be bothered attitude going on.

Usually I put the Xmas decs up as soon as we hit December 1st - this year I couldn't care less at the moment if we put them up or don't put them up.

Everything seems like an effort, my concentration is rubbish and its like theres a big black cloud following me around. I'm not too keen on socialising at the moment (even less so than usual) and I'm sure that Sue will tell you that I'm extremely irritable at the moment.

I'm tired when I wake up, I could stay in bed all day I think if given half a chance, tired most of the day, feel fed up, bored and disinterested.

The bank have messed up my credit card after cancelling it when it was used fraudulently the other week, they set up a new card, transferred the balance from the old one and with my first statement sent me an arrears charge and showed my account in arrears. That's been really stressing me out and getting to me the last few days which isn't helping.

I've also had a cold which suprisingly has moved on quite quickly, although I seem to be having breathing problems now and again with it which I think relates to when I had asthma when I was little.

I've just ordered one of those proper medical rated lightbox thingies that you use for 30 mins a day and in 95% of cases its meant to make it better, I'll give that a go and see how I get on. Its £189 but its got a 30 day money back guaruntee - they say you can tell the difference after 4-8 days, so I guess that covers me on that front.

The worst thing about all of this is if I try to talk to anyone about it they laugh it off, tell me to go outside for a walk, tell me to stop being silly or something similar. Its one of those situations where you want to talk to someone about it but can't, if that makes sense.

If paying £189 for a box with some lightbulbs in it and using it for 30 mins a day for 4 months of the year makes me feel better then in my humble opinion I'd gladly pay double that.

I'm not looking for heaps of sympathy - just don't post back telling me I'm daft (I know you lot wouldn't anyway). I'd be interested in hearing from anyone else who feels down at this time of year or uses a lightbox to stop it.

So if you've gotten this far thankyou for reading my thoughts and feelings and I apologise for putting you through it.

[namllihs]

Going out for a brisk walk does help Matt, and the light thingy, also St John's wort.

[Dark Star]

I read this with interest Matt, and I am sympathetic even though you're not asking for sympathy! I have a brother who has suffered similarly but I won't go into the details here but I do know the impact this can have on a person.

Dark days and nights particularly wet ones are inclined to make us all fed up I guess but it sounds like you've got it baaad!

No smart answers from me though I'm afraid, other than at least you know that, in a week or so's time, the days get longer and lighter!

Good luck with the lightbox!!!

[Warspite]

Have you been checked for diabetes?, alot of the symptoms (lethargy in particular) seem inline with what alot of diabetics suffer from.

Heard quite alot of people feeling like this throughout the winter months. I tend to prefer the winters myself, a chance to cool down, its the hot summers that wear me down.

[Matt Charlton]

My dad was recently diagonosed diabetic and I tried his blood sugar level testy thing, it was well within normal parameters so I don't think its that (yet).

[Matt Charlton]

Going out for a brisk walk does help Matt, and the light thingy, also St John's wort.

Problem with that is that if I want to go out for a brisk walk it has to be within daylight hours, I'm at work before 7:30am and its not light until well after 8, I finish at 3:30 and its generally well on the way to getting dark by 4pm when I get home. If its raining then its generally dark from 2pm onwards.

Sometimes I even tell myself that I'm being silly, I dunno :(

[namllihs]

I usualy go for a walk at lunchtime when possible. I dont think your being silly Matt, it's just that a lot of people don't understand what your feeling, unfortunately I do understand as I have had this problem for about 12 years.

[markp]

I think this time of year can run you down. The dark days don't help at all. Last weekend I had a cold, after an unbelievably bad week at work, and had to spend the weekend taxiing family around and squeezing in Xmas shopping.

I do wish I had the time to go for walks, it really does help. Coventry isn't the most scenic of places though, and going for a drive usually stresses me out as soon as I encounter another driver so I've given up on that idea.

However, there was a beautiful sunset on Saturday night which I managed to catch the tail-end of, and seeing that really did make me feel heaps better so I hope your light box does the same for you.

[Double_Agent]

I agree, I dont think your being silly and is sounds to me very much like your well on the road to recovery.

You have already diagnosed yourself with what you believe to be S.A.D. You have purchased something to try and combat those effects.

I hope it really works for you. Sounds terrible to say it but eat lunch outside at lunchtime to get natural light whatever the whether conditions. It will all help.

Above all, try and remove the stresses, get good sleep and I bet that along with the light box will turn you around.

Companies never used to understand this the same as Stress but now they are beginning to take interests in what people say as they have to by law.

[h.r.ford]

Matt, I've gotten two of those light thingies (the military gives them to us on loan) and I must say it helps immensely. Give it a try for a month and if that doesn't work really go to the Dr there is nothing wrong with getting medicine to help you through these really long months. Hang in there and if you ever want to spout off I'm always a willing ear.

[InaGlo]

I too have read your post with interest Matt
I know how you feel because I get it too.
I usually just want to hibernate, so I tend to sleep more & feel generally lethagic. But, for some unkown reason this year, irritability is one of the worse symptoms (just ask my poor son). Im just sooo stressed and feel incapable of thinking clearly & making decisions!

Going to work in the dark & coming home in the dark was when I first noticed the SAD thing. I dont have that problem now as I work from home so when Im not working Im sitting at my pc in the bedroom window. It seems to help that I can look out into my garden & watch the birds & squirrels running aound.
Im interested in the Lightbox thing too, so Ill be interested to hear how you get on as £189 is a lot of money to me right now (running my bizz down).
Might not be much of a consolation but at least youre not alone! :hug:

[shiato storm]

Its odd that this is an occurring phenomenon not really documented until recently but, given further thought, there does seem to be a reasonable explanation. In today's world people are expected to work 9 to 5, at least, some often longer hours. In the spring and late summer its daylight by the time we wake up and still light when we head home but in winter its almost as though we're stuck in darkness and artificial lights as we go from home to work and back again. Historically work began when it gets light and ends as it gets dark - then the fires get put on and people generally socialised then went to bed - thanks to electricity and corporate world businesses we tend to work longer hours with less rest [insert appropriate expletive].
There is a small light-sensitive gland within the brain that, for want of a better phrase, works like a clock. it senses the amount of light your eyes receive and so on, so that it can tell your body lots of info such as bed time or wake up time as well as being linked to and controlling several major hormones (no, I don't mean 'being hormonal' in the female sense). Now, all these lights and constant working day (say 9 to 5) means it gets little to no seasonal change when its winter. evolutionary speaking it 'expects' to receive less light as it gets colder yet its still getting 8 hours at constant levels, plus a couple more before bed but usually you;re relaxing at home so thats different. So its no wonder you're feeling a little backwards due to being that bit sensitive to the seasons.
There are many solutions - as mentioned a uv light can help but what is it really doing? Sunlight triggers production of vitamin D, which when deficient has been linked to depression, diabetes, obesity, cancer (seems everything is linked to cancer in one way or another these days) and schizophrenia (who me?)
So as well as tricking your internal clocks to thinking its always nice out you're triggering Vit D production with a 'sun lamp'. Perhaps nip down to boots and get some vitamins first to see if they help?

other things do include exercise etc., going for a stroll during lunch hour that sort of thing. The brain is lacking that sensation of the nights drawing in only going from inside lights to sudden darkness so being outside at the weekends allows it to sense the darkness coming in so it 'knows' whats going on and where it it...

maybe that made sense, maybe none at all.

[CT]

When I feel like that I just get hammered. :D

[Janice]

I used to feel like that too....if I had no work, just sat in my dressing gown, couldnt bother to do anything, nearly crying all the time.

THEN I LOST 1.5 STONE!!!

And now Im up with the lark, walking the dog, singing during the day...a different person!! :)

[Marcel]

I read your post with interest Matt.
As some of you know I suffered from Depression for a while a couple of years back, and it has recently surfaced again, so I can fully understand everything you describe. Mine isn't linked to SAD (If anything I'm more of a lover of darker weather....not too keen on summer, sunshine and nice days).

However, I can sympathise with everything your feeling. That's how I knew my depression was 'coming back' as it were. A familiar feeling of the same symptoms as before. The lack of motivation and interest in anything. General tiredness and lethargy.

Last time I had a tendency to eat alot too. This was down to lack of interest in anything, which resulted in a massive feeling of boredom (similar to this time round).

Once I started taking medication for the depression, the 'fog' as it were soon lifted, and I found a great deal of motivation to get fit, and lose weight. That's how I went from 22 stone to nearly 16.

What really does help is doing things that release what are called endorphines into your brain. This is your bodys natural 'happy drug'. When you do something you enjoy...your body releases endorphines to make you feel good.

Exercise is a great way of releasing endorphines, even if its just gentle exercise like going for a walk, as has been said above. It's all beneficial.
I know it can be hard to do something you're supposed to enjoy, to make yourself feel happy. It's a catch 22 situation..You can't be happy until you do something, and you can't do anything because you're not happy.
Even small steps make a big difference.
Just a little walk to the shops during your dinner hour can make all the difference. It's OK to suggest things like that.

What I personally don't like though is when people tell me to 'Just pull yourself together' or 'Chin up'. It really isn't that easy. It took me ages to change my view on depression. I used to think of it as something that people could 'snap out of'. Now I think differently. I understand its a complete chemical imbalance and something that we have no complete control over happening. That's why I have no problem talking about it now. I'm not ashamed to admit I suffer from it anymore.
If it was a broken leg, I wouldn't be ashamed, so why, just because I can't physically 'see' the break, should it be any different? (Thanks to Lee for that one ;))

I hope this light tent thing works for you. if you need a natter, you know where I am.

[Venomator]

The worst thing about all of this is if I try to talk to anyone about it they laugh it off, tell me to go outside for a walk, tell me to stop being silly or something similar. Its one of those situations where you want to talk to someone about it but can't, if that makes sense.

You just did Matt ... :clap: ... and I'll wager you feel the better for it ... :thinking:

It's good to talk ... :thumbs:

Plenty of people have contributed already ... shows you how well this community reacts when people have a bit of bovver ... heartening isn't it ... ;)

Get yourself through it however you need to Matt ... it'll soon be Spring and the best time of year will be with us again ... something tangible to look forward to must help ... :shrug:

Me ... I just hate bloody Winter ... dark, miserable, cold and wet ... and the weather is just as bleedin' bad ... :D

Pecker up m8 ... plenty here to keep you going through the dark times ... :p

[Matt Charlton]

Thank you very much to everyone that has replied, I feel better about it already I think. With any luck the light box will keep me going until spring and I can look forward to the longer days.

Your name change made me smile Ven, cheers mate :)

And Renee, you might regret that offer ;)

I do hope that the lightbox works and gives me that little bit of extra get up and go that I seem to lack at this time of the year.

I wonder if its because I discovered photography properly at the back end of summer and did loads with it then with the sun and everything and now I'm not getting many oppertunities to use it.

Thanks again for making me feel semi-normal again and realise that I'm not crazy

[Warspite]

I wonder if its because I discovered photography properly at the back end of summer and did loads with it then with the sun and everything and now I'm not getting many oppertunities to use it.

Im definitely suffering from that myself, really is frustrating not having the light conditions when you do manage to find the time - atleast in summer you can go out with the camera as late as 9pm and still get good shots :D

[h.r.ford]

We didn't say you weren't crazy Matt ;) just not for feeling down at winter. There are plenty of other reasons! The only thing I ask is that you listen in return at a later date when I'm in need!

[Matt Charlton]

:p

crazy old hermit

thats my next user title ;)

and thats almost Jedi Master :D

[Marianne]

aww....what a special place this forum is...we all care Matt, both Barry and I are suffering with depression, caused by different reasons but the season definitely does make a difference. I can tell you lovely lot that meeting up with you all at Bolton Abbey really gave us a boost...you're all lovely people! Let us know how you get on with the light box, just the act of doing something positive can make all the difference. If you start a photo-a-day blog it makes you get out there, or at least do something even if you take a photo indoors! I wanna see your decorations! I wanna see your tree! Make a Christmas card out of one of the shots...come on Matt, do it! :)

[Matt Charlton]

I wanna see your tree!

Steady on love, think of Sue and Barry!

;)

Thanks for your kind words, this place is lovely and the people are great :D

[Marianne]

haha.... :blush:

[sue]

Hmmmm thats my husband, luckily I love him and so I know he will get through this, with help from all of you, can I just say thank you to you all for your support.
He is right, his an irritable sod sometimes :) and can be miserable and moody, but thats part of the reason why I love him.
Maybe we should consider taking up swimming some evening during the week, they do adult only sessions at our local swimming pool, could spend time together and get out of the house and do some exercise.
We need more trips out as well, either with other TP members or on our own, looking forward to York, should be nice to see some of you again. Hope that we manage to have a good day and maybe even get some good photos.
Thank you again for you helpful comments and support.

[digitalfailure]

I find large amounts of beer help me through the dark winter months.

mind you, it plays just as bigger part during the hot sunny months remember those? so it's quite a universal cure :D

Sue...an active life is a happy life :thumbs:

[ajdesq]

Maybe we should consider taking up swimming some evening during the week, they do adult only sessions at our local swimming pool, could spend time together and get out of the house and do some exercise.

Well, exercise worked for me! I'm a huge believer in how modern life has mucked up our primitive feelings, and while we evolve quickly, life evolves even quicker. I'm convinced that SAD is related to a primitive form of human 'hibernation', and is VERY real.

Swimming is the best exercise. If you ever have 'motivation issues', break it down into steps:

1.'I really don't feel like going swimming. But I'll go to the Sports Centre anyway for a coffee'

2. 'Ah well, while I'm here... I still don't feel like going for a swim, but I'll change into my trunks/cossie and just go into the water for a splash about.'

3. 'Oh well, now I'm in... just a couple of lengths then...!' :D

I work shifts which I think helps; this week I'm up at 0330 every day, but I'm home by lunchtime. That leaves the afternoons free for kitesurfing (was nippy today ***!) or bike riding. I find that getting out into nature really helps me. Even if it's persisting down. That's why I'm moving to the coast in July and enduring a 2.5hr commute each way.

I echo the others on here... drag yourself outside for a stroll at lunchtime. Or why not take up jogging at lunch? Just 15 minutes?

Whatever you do, good luck! :thumbs:

[minimeeze]

:hug:
Nothing much more I can add other than what has already been said. I really hope you start to feel brighter soon. Fingers crossed that the light box thing works, otherwise, I think a visit to your GP may be in order.
I know at this time of year, it's difficult to get motivated about anything as it's just dark and miserable. Try to set yourself some photography projects on your days off - even if it's just for a couple of hours. A trip to the coast or into town with a mission in mind (eg a theme..people / my town / where I live..etc). At least it gets you out of the house and gives you some motivation :)

[Sharkey]

I do know why you feel it.

If it helps after 15 or so years of the bloody thing I can quite honestly say, the only person who knows how you feel is you.
The only person who is able to help (other than physical treatments-lightbox, drugs etc) is really you.
Support helps, advice rarely does IMO.
So, what to do?
Do the things that help you. Obviouse but hard. Be driven by the problem towards thoughs things that (just a little) make you smile.
A cuddle, a lung full of chill air, a clear night sky with a warm hand for company.
So with my useless advice(probably)ringing in you ears I wish you the best of blessings.

[IanC_UK]

pah, what a load of old crap, chin up etc etc ! ;) (that was a joke by the way!!! )


My last girlfriend suffers really bad with this, is totally debilitating, also has Menieres disease so has really bad balance issues. She recently got a lightbox but i havent spoken to her about it recently so cant let you now how succesful it is, hope it works for you Matt !

[Diego Garcia]

Just do what you can to get through it is all :)

[sue]

hmmmm well after a meal out with a friend the conversation took a turn for the gutter during the trip to the pub, hope this has helped matt, and also hope you enjoy your trip out with your best (wo)man on saturday, not that I am jealous as I will be at work or anything

[Matt Charlton]

You forget the part where you had a bottle of wine and a baileys coffee to yourself :P

Well the daylight alarm clock (that I bought last year for £100) seemed to wake me up with the light (and not the beeper) for the first time this year, so I feel a bit more with it this morning. Still looking forward to this lightbox arriving.

Hopefully getting out for a walk this weekend will help too.

Thanks again for everyone's advice, ideas and most of all love (eww that sounded a little soppy didnt it)

[Matt]

Are you coming to Donna Nook Matt?

Seeing the seal pups will give you a lift. It works for me anyway.

[Matt Charlton]

We were but now I'm not sure if we are, I dunno.

We'd both love to go.

Are you giving Bod a lift?

[Marcel]

Not sure if I'm going anyway mate. I think we have guests coming over for the day.

[Matt Charlton]

Oh yeah you said.

I forgot, sorry.

[dazzajl]

I can really empathise with SAD sufferers. I used to get so low with this that I'd have been in higher place if I was burried 6 foot under.

That was living in London and doing the usual leave home and return in the dark. When I was able to get out in the daylight, it always felt like the sky was a narrow grey strip between the buildings and resting heavily right on top of my head.

Since we moved out to Wiltshire and I get to be out and about alot, I feel really differently about the winter months. I still hate the short days but just getting to watch the changing of the seasons, taking in the glorious light we do get some days and still feeling the novelty of being in wide open spaces, has been enough to turn it around for me.

Hopefully this means that others can feel better too, if they can find something to just provide that initial upturn in spirits we need to start getting back to being ourselves.

Best of luck with the lightbox. :thumbs:

[Matt Charlton]

Well, the light box was supposed to arrive today along with a birthday present I bought for a friend - both courier'd by city link.

Nothing, nada, zilch.

Super :/

This last week especially the evenings seem to just disappear, it doesn't seem that long ago that I got home from work but now I have to go and pick sue up from work and its going to be time for bed before long.

Don't ever remember time slipping by as quickly as this

[InaGlo]

Don't ever remember time slipping by as quickly as this
I know that feeling well too, tbh I blame this site ...when Im not working Im on here.
Jeez Im not even picking my camera up and Im supposed to be here because of my camera! :lol:

Hey, did you do as aunty Marianne said & put your tree up?
After I read her post to you, I made a special effort & went straight & put mine up (well threw it up more like).
Now al I have to do is get that little black square shaped thing out of that dusty bag over there and point it at it!
Come on .. I will if you will! ;)

[IanC_UK]

Don't ever remember time slipping by as quickly as this

You wait till you get older ! time flies by ! lol

[Matt Charlton]

The tree is up yeah, its half decorated, we're waiting for tinkerbell to come from the disney store before finishing it.

i'll take a piccy once its all done i promise :)

[sue]

I put the tree up while he was at work on afternoon so it was a surprise when he got home, and he didnt even notice, but when he did I hoped it helped. I got home tonight and the lights were all on. It is nice to come home to. Now need to get the camera out and take some photos, not put the deorations on yet it is a pre-lit one so it has the lights on and some tinsel.

[Matt Charlton]

Well the lightbox arrived about 20 minutes ago and I've got it plugged in and turned on on my desk.

WoW

It makes the "daylight" strip lights in the celing here look like 40w bulbs. I think the bulbs in the box are 150w but they apparently give out :



4 x 36 watt compact fluorescent tubes - 10,000 lux output, natural daylight, flicker free. Life expectancy 10,000 hours

30 minute timer and continuous settings

The Britebox DOES NOT give out UV light

[Warspite]

Good to hear its arrived, hope it makes a difference :thumbs:

[minimeeze]

Let us know how you get on with it Matt - hope it helps to lift your spirits a little :hug:

[Venomator]

Yus ... I'd be interested in how you get on with the 'box' too Matt ... :thinking: ... my internals need brightening too ... :D





:p

[siejones]

I do hard exercise to get me through. Regardless of weather I will bike long and hard as I can until I can not go on anymore. Or walk/scramble a mountain or two in one of the national parks. The exercise gets your endorphins going and it's an amazing natural high.

Last sat I biked up a really steep and long hill and as always my challange yo myself is to never let the hill beat me. I can never stop to catch my breath and certainly not get off to walk. My legs were killing and nearly cramped up on me. My lungs ready to burst I was on the edge of tears near the top but I made it. The next bit was a long steady downhill. The sun appeared from behind the clouds and the roadside opened up to view of lush green fields.

I felt incredible and a smile appeared on my face I had no control over. I felt a huge rush of happiness and nearly cryed with joy.

Every weekend I need this hit and nothing can stand in my way of doing it...nothing!

I recommend it to anyone. You will be amazed

[sue]

Well just a little update, after use of the box for over a week now, I have noticed an improvment, dont know if matt has, he now seems less stressed about things, he seem happier and not as irritable,and not always shattered all the time. So I guess that means something is working.

Hope it is the box and it continues to work.

[Marcel]

Thats great news. Glad to hear it's working out for him. :thumbs:
Sounds like something is working, if he is less stressed, less tired, and less irritable.