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Hacker
09-07-2008, 12:35
This is an invaluable guide......for those of you that are planning to venture into darkest depths of Essex .

A task not for the faint-hearted.




alma chizzit - A request to find the cost of an item

amant - Quantity; sum total ("Thez a yuge amant of mud in Saffend")

assband - Unable to leave the house because of illness, disability etc

awss - A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely lost ("That awss ya tipped cost me a fiver t'day")

branna - More brown than on a previous occasion ("Ere, Trace, ya look branna today, ave you been on sunbed?")

cort a panda - A rather large hamburger

Dan in the maff - Unhappy ("Wossmatta, Trace, ya look a bit Dan in the maff")

eye-eels - Women's shoes

Furrock - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre

garrij - A building where a car is kept or repaired(Trace: "Oi, Darren, I fink the motah needs at go in the garrij cos it aint working proper")

Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island

lafarjik - Lacking in energy ("I feel all lafarjik")

OI OI! - Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs or during banging dance tunes at clubs

paipa - The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport

reband - The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after rejection by a lover ("I couldn't elp it, I wuz on the reband from Craig")

Saffend - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier in the world. The place where the characters from TV's popular soap opera, Eastenders, go on holiday

tan - The city of London , the big smoke

webbats - Querying the location something or someone is. ("Webbats is me dole card Trace? I've gotta sign on in arf hour")

wonnid - 1. Desired, needed. 2. Wanted by the police

zaggerate - To suggest that something is bigger or better than it actually is. ("I told ya a fazzand times already")


:D :D :D

hepburn
09-07-2008, 13:20
This is an invaluable guide......for those of you that are planning to venture into darkest depths of Essex
Loved them... But why oh why would anyone want to go to essex?

For those that do, avoid these roads in this order:

1. The A13
2. The A127
3. The A12
4. The M11

The further north and east you venture the safer it is ;)

mattyh
09-07-2008, 13:24
A13, been there, A127, Been there, A12, Been there, M11, Been there. :help: :lol:

Cobra
09-07-2008, 14:13
cort a panda - A rather large hamburger


:lol::lol::lol:
Thanks for clearing that up Colin :thumbs:

yoby
09-07-2008, 14:52
:help: - I live in darkest Essex, and still found this mildly amusing, or to put it in the vernacular,

Wassup wiv me umer ??? - sgon rong innit..... sa larf this fred innit though.

Off to lie in a darkened room.....

minimeeze
09-07-2008, 15:11
:lol: I'm sure there is a Yorkshire version out there too.

yoby
09-07-2008, 15:27
Dis translation thin fert mooar odd 'n individual accents can be easily rectified by wee orl typin i' text speyt.

Apparently in Yorkshire that makes sense.......

In Essex it's more like

Dis translashun tin fe da more odd an' individual accents can be easily rectified by us all typin in text bone.

In proper, perhaps this makes more sense to just use this rather annoying site I just found...... http://www.whoohoo.co.uk/main.asp really must get some work done today......

nilagin
09-07-2008, 15:32
Essex born and bred and lived here all my life (45.5yrs) and I've never heard anyone talk like that.

Matt Sayle
09-07-2008, 21:32
:lol: Very good. Theres got to be a scouse one somewhere :D

Matt Sayle
09-07-2008, 21:32
Essex born and bred and lived here all my life (45.5yrs) and I've never heard anyone talk like that.

He has never left his house :lol:

JPS
10-07-2008, 09:41
:lol: I'm sure there is a Yorkshire version out there too.

There is one for the Hull accent and that is also highly amusing - especially once you've heard a broad Hull accent you can see just how accurate the 'list' is.

nilagin
10-07-2008, 14:26
He has never left his house :lol:

:razz:
No one speaks like that in Essex unless they are East London overspill.

Toothie
10-07-2008, 14:37
A13, been there, A127, Been there, A12, Been there, M11, Been there. :help: :lol:

That's cos your an Essex boy in hiding;)

Magnum
10-07-2008, 15:53
Yeah that all sounds right to me... living in Essex capital, Romford.

Really made me laugh :D

Defiance
10-07-2008, 20:38
Excellent, reminds me of many a night out in 'Bas Vegas' :D

...and you're all just jealous of our women anyway :naughty:

Venomator
10-07-2008, 20:45
Excellent Colin ... :lol: ... bet you got that lot from one of your recent wedding helpers ... :suspect:



:eek: ... :coat:





:p

nilagin
11-07-2008, 14:13
Excellent, reminds me of many a night out in 'Bas Vegas' :D

:razz:
No one speaks like that in Essex unless they are East London overspill.
Like I said......................................

yoby
11-07-2008, 14:38
:razz:
No one speaks like that in Essex unless they are East London overspill.

But that defines essex innit????? - Unless you're posh and live in one of the gated communities far far away from Canvey.


Bas Vegas...... "Oi gemmi sum chips, I aint cummin t'yer arse till arm fed......!!!"
:D

nilagin
11-07-2008, 15:24
Real Essex people talk with no accent or mispronounciation. The rest is just mishmashed cockney or chav.

mattyh
11-07-2008, 15:26
I find that a lot of people from my home town drop their H's, although so do a lot of people in Yorkshire too :D

I speak properly though ;) :p

Flash
11-07-2008, 18:58
I can assure you I don't speak like that!

James Rothwell
16-07-2008, 12:25
Gated community in Essex? Do you mean the prison near Rayleigh?

I found it a little amusing and I lived in Southend for 5/6 years, still go back now and again.

Ashers
16-07-2008, 12:26
in yorkshire u mean they talk? lol they always talk to peopel with one hand on their wallets