ASH
11-08-2006, 12:56
Holiday in Pakistan...
This married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come indo my humble shop."
So the married couple walked in. The Pakistani man said to them, "I have some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex like a great desert camel." Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was.
The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"
The Pakistani man replied, "Just try dem on, Saiheeb."
Well, the husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes; something his wife hadn't seen in many years - raw sexual power.
In a blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Pakistani man, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, and ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Pakistani's thighs.
The Pakistani then began screaming "YOU HAVE DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!
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Getting priorities right
At dawn the telephone rings.
"Hello, Senor Lucky? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country
house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor, that your parrot died.
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Senor,that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. "Wh at
did
he die from?"
"From eating rotten meat, Senor"
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Senor Lucky. He died from all that work pulling
the
water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor"
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught
on
fire."
"What the.....!!! But there's electricity at the house!!! What **** was
the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor."
WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?!"
"Your wife's, Senor...She showed up one night out of the blue and I
thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike
Driver."
SILENCE........................................... ...................
"Ernesto if you broke that driver, you're in deep ****!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
And last but not least.
Was this a mistake on googles part?
1- Go to www.Google.com
2- Type in " Failure " then click "search"
3- Look what the top search result is.
This married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come indo my humble shop."
So the married couple walked in. The Pakistani man said to them, "I have some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex like a great desert camel." Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was.
The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"
The Pakistani man replied, "Just try dem on, Saiheeb."
Well, the husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes; something his wife hadn't seen in many years - raw sexual power.
In a blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Pakistani man, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, and ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Pakistani's thighs.
The Pakistani then began screaming "YOU HAVE DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Getting priorities right
At dawn the telephone rings.
"Hello, Senor Lucky? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country
house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor, that your parrot died.
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Senor,that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. "Wh at
did
he die from?"
"From eating rotten meat, Senor"
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Senor Lucky. He died from all that work pulling
the
water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor"
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught
on
fire."
"What the.....!!! But there's electricity at the house!!! What **** was
the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor."
WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?!"
"Your wife's, Senor...She showed up one night out of the blue and I
thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike
Driver."
SILENCE........................................... ...................
"Ernesto if you broke that driver, you're in deep ****!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
And last but not least.
Was this a mistake on googles part?
1- Go to www.Google.com
2- Type in " Failure " then click "search"
3- Look what the top search result is.