Gary's 365 - Feelings & Emotions (ended early)

Good shots, but your paragraphs put the bible to shame...
 
2656342239_b1159d237d_o.jpg


What a day! I have been up, down, high, low and round in circles, all day long. Different voices and opinions firing from all directions, and I have really not been able to make sense of much of it.

Heres the deal. I choose a photo every week to send to the "Scotland - In Pictures" feature. Just snaps that people take in the hope that the BBC might stick it in, and you can show off to all your mates - look, a BBC photo! My mums boyfriend got a mushroom published, and Michael got a Highland Cow published. So, I send Law Hospital in, hoping, but doubtful, that it will make the cut.

Ring Ring, it's the BBC on the phone. They tell me they want to do a photo gallery of the hospital using my pics, and it will feature info on urbex, a little about me and the camera, etc etc. I was naturally chuffed, absolutely ecstatic in fact. I am yet to put my foot in it. Throughout the course of the convo, he asks various questions. What type of camera do you use, how long you been into this, have I plans for any other urbex stuff, and finally, the question which resulted in my foot being jammed halfway down my throat, how many photos do I have.

I excitably tell him, 'I have loads of photos. Some of them are totally unreal too, peoples X-Rays and stuff'. At that point his tone changed, and he put me on hold. About a minute later, he explains to me that he wants to "extend" the feature, but needs to get permission from his editor. I say cool, and we end the call.

Ring Ring, it's the BBC on the phone, again. This time, a girl, a journalist, and she wants to interview me on the telephone. I agree, and after a few photography related questions, I get the security issues thrown at me.

Do you think security was sufficient?
Nope.

Did you ever see security inside the building?
Nope.

Do you think it would be easy for kids to access?
I guess so.

How surprised were you to find X rays and other personal files.
Surprised I guess? I would have thought it would have all been shipped to the new hospital, or destroyed.

Anyhoo! After several other phonecalls from the original chap who called (who apparently still wants to run the photo feature), and from some of his colleagues, I agreed to be interviewed on site...and whilst I think I have probably ruined this place for photographers in the short term, I hope maybe something good comes out of this. I mean is it right that we can walk into a derelict building and see peoples names, addresses, date of birth and medical notes? Probably not, and whilst I wasn't hugely interested in that side of Urbex, thinking about it, maybe its good to have raised a spotlight on this.

I really hope for my own sake, the original caller does see some merit in the photos I took. It would suck to have been duped into what is simply a page filler due to slow news. The fact that my photos had nothing personal in them leads me to believe he was originally genuine, and it was my admission to the x rays etc which led to their story.

I am both excited that a wider audience MAY get to see my photos for what they are, and very nervous about any comeback from all this. I dunno if i have done the right thing or not, time will tell.

Today, I feel completely conflicted!

Gary.
PS - sorry, this is rushed, very tired and need sleep!
 
Last edited:
Wow, quality... Been following this today and think you have done everything right!

Including getting an incredible set...

Need sleep, been waiting for this! Night...
 
Great news on your opportunity (y) The extended interest may have been for your own good too. They may want to leave out the x-ray pictures etc because they techincally could be breaching laws about confidentiality. I dont know, just my 2pence but either way you will get 5 minutes of fame :D
 
Good luck mate, just hope nothing comes back on you (about been in the building etc).

Allways nice to get noticed, and be appreciated. Glad you have been mate :)

Good pic too!
 
2659897638_787baa40bf_o.jpg


Most surreal day of my life ever. Having more or less featured in BBC Scotland's biggest story of the day, I find myself on news sites, radio programmes, and TV stations. I have been told the tabloids have also picked the story up, and I guess I will be mentioned in them too. I have had emails from as far a field as Florida, and old friends whom I haven't spoken to for years have got in touch! I don't know what to think, should I be happy? Should I be angry? Should I be scared? All 3? Surely, as a photographer (albeit an amateur one), I have accomplished a great feat, I have managed to get my photos in the limelight, and in the process, I have created a massive story to boot. Surely this should be a dream come true, and surely I should be nothing, but proud?

And I'm not, far from it. You see, I have seriously p*ssed off a group of people who hide in the shadows and like to stay underground. A group of people who make it their job to talk in secret clubs with secret identities, and share secret files detailing secret visits to secret locations. Armed with a camera, and not a lot more, these individuals are known as Urban Explorers.

The reaction from a few these modern day 'Indiana Jones' has been truly scary. It's as if they are able to take the dark energy they so expertly capture in their photos time after time, and blend it into a chorus of hatred, type it up, and email it to me. They rip me apart for my inexcusable crime, uncovering one of their 'sites'. It's the number one rule, get in, get photos, get out, and NEVER get seen. And oh boy, did I **** that one up.

Get in? Check.

Get photos? Check.

Get out? Check.

NEVER get seen?
Erm....ooops? So, I have opened up a can of worms, Urbex is on the TV, its on the radio, and its in the papers. I have gone and lifted the lid on a secret community and shown the whole world what these explorers love to do. I, have quite simply, found their holy grail, and put it on a pedestal for the whole world to see.

Or so they think. The fact is, I visited a hospital which is due to be flattened. Houses and flats are being built on it, and soon, it will resemble just another piece of suburbia. And whilst that's no excuse for the mistake I made, surely it has lessened any impact it will have on their community and hobby. None of the stories (so far), have used the term Urban, or Exploration. None of the stories have hinted at any suspicion that a network of individuals do this every day, across the world. I hope, this story will eventually blow over, and they can continue to enjoy exploring whatever it is they explore, and I can get back to what I enjoy most, taking photos.

At the end of the day, I am an amateur photographer, not an urban explorer. I did not know their rules, and I had no idea this story would upset them so much. For that I apologise. With regards to Law Hospital being off limits? Not going to happen, the site is far to big for that. It may be harder than before, but is that not part of the thrill? I don't know. What I do know, very, very soon, the hospital will be no more, and several hundred shiny new houses will sit in its place. I am only glad I managed to get the photos I did, before it was too late.

Gary.
 
2661930167_17534c56ee_o.jpg


Seems I have really fallen off the 365 train the past few days, I have just been so shattered as a result of all the crap, that I have been struggling to motivate myself. Sucks, as I have really enjoyed the project, and I want to see it through. It has got me thinking though...

Thinking about how fragile people are. As soon as something out of the normal hits you, you can find yourself completely off balance, struggling to find your feet. I have been absolutely trainwrecked the past few days, and any routine I had has gone out the window.

However...every downside has an upside, and I have already discovered it. The upshot is this. I am a much wiser individual with regards to how it feels to be in the spotlight, and I have learned I don't like it, not one bit. I will now be in a position going forward to guard myself from a repeat of this situation, any plans to join the Big Brother house, out the window! :)

Another upshot, and it's a biggy! I discovered that a few friends I have 'met' on a web site I like to frequent, were much more important to me that I appreciated. It turns out, they have a real respect for me too, and I find it incredable, that even though I have yet to meet the majority of them, that we can all tune into this mutual appreciation for one another. The place is a rock for me, and it really helped me through a very difficult day. It was as if the friends joined forces and acted as a platoon protecting a fallen soldier, shielding one of it's own, and I really don't know how I would have managed without the support. Moving forward, I will now always feel part of a very special group of people, who look out for one another and share a common interest and morale stance.

I think over the next few days or so, I will need to finish going through a period of reflection, and I will try my damnest to bin as much of the **** going round my head as possible.

Looking forward to getting back to some kind of normality.

Gary.
 
C+P from flickr:
Keep your chin up,
The picture taken here is absolutly perfect for me, to me it means the episode has been put behind you and "in the bin"
Take only pictures, Leave only footprints...
 
Pic done, now the hard part!!! :D

No idea if I am about to induce finger pain or not :)
 
I'm on it :)

One week on from our "urbex" and what a week it's been for you mate, especially the last few days!

I can honestly say if it was I who sent the pics into the BBC, as I often do with other pics for that section, I'd have done exactly the same as you.

I still think you done the right thing, okay you p#ssed off a few urban explorers, but you uncovered a story that was in the public interest, and if that story results in better data security for all, then it can only be a good thing!

Dave
 
Gary - well done. You've come through something that went from being really exciting (photos on telly) to something truly scary (hate emails from people who think they have a right to invade your head) and come out the other end with a succinct pic that says it all: everything passes - and yesterday's papers end up in the bin. I'm not surprised you're tired. :)

Don't be surprised at the amount of support you've had. You definitely deserve it. :hug:

Jean
 
2664979663_3ffca695ed_o.jpg


In the words of Larry David, I'm feeling "Pretty Good....pretty, pretty, pretty good". I have discovered so much this past few days, about myself, about those around me, and I guess, about certain industries which can, whether you like it or not, bring great harm to you. I have also discovered another side of the Internet, a scarier side. Saying all that, I feel I have just left a long dark tunnel, and the light at the other side is such a relief. I have emerged smarter, wiser and I guess, more cautious.

It has made me think so much about all the choices I make. One of them, speaking so openly on the very thing you are reading right now. Some of you may have noticed, my daily updates went offline for a few days. I withdrew them through the fear that certain individuals who found themselves reading would be able to use the info within, to insult, or otherwise abuse me. I am not referring to the Urban crowd, whom I hope, to have made amends with. I am referring to people from my past who may have stumbled across me via the news story, people who I might not want reading, Some of them, who may feature in a few of my entries to date.

But tough sh*t boys and girls. I only write the truth, and I write it from the bottom of my heart. I enjoy sharing my stories, my feelings, and my photos, and I will not allow a few individuals to scare me to the point where I haven't the courage to continue - I gave up on that strategy a LONG time ago. If anything, I want you see how I feel, I want you to know how much you have taught me, and I want you to know, I am so much stronger as a result of your actions, you have empowered me, and I will not be broken.

This daily update is here to stay, in all it's open glory. I am not ashamed of who I am, and I am not ashamed of the choices I have made. If any skeletons decide to come out of the wardrobe to try and bring me harm, I will be ready and waiting.

Today, I feel strong, and it's all down the support from a warm, friendly and helpful community whom I hope to be a part of forever more.

Gary.
 
Good choice of picture there matey, glad to hear your over the worst of it and coming to terms with the problems you've had!(y)
 
Well its a change from the norm with all the going on you have caused! I hope they manage to blow over dude :) #32 is very fitting for your current situation!
 
I'm by no means religious, but AMEN!
You should never stop what you enjoy/love Gary, your writting is an inspration and something to look up to.
Your 365 is bar far one of the best i have seen on the internet.
 
just read #31 f*** them, its not your fault you were found, if i was you id be making the most of it and throwing CVs left right and centre.
 
After reading it all mate, I don't know how to sum it all up.

Awesome maybe? Love seeing your images (Flower is very different to your others so far) but i also love reading about emotions you involve with your pictures. Certainly leaves myself thinking.

Really do keep it up mate, supurb work (y)
 
Gary

As stated previously a different sort of shot for you but it works well. Glad to here you are high on the happy side today..

Keep up the good work..

Shutterman
 
Thanks for the comments guys, agree it's not my usual bag RE 365 shots. It is in fact a grab shot at Pizza Express, lunch time :D I just felt it was an image of strength, a strong tall flower, strong colours, etc!

I felt I should get a happy post across, and therefore I hope the image shows that :D

Gary.
 
You're back in the zone dude and once again I love the image and the words... You are a strong character and have stood upto a lot the last few days!

Long may it continue and you will always, always have my support.

Take care

Paul
 
just caught up on the last few shots, and as per usual an excellent set, with an excellent explanation to go with each, i bet you have been through alot in the past few days, but stay strong and continue, Im sure you will feel so chuffed once you complete this.

Disclaimer:: i dont know how you may feel once you complete it as i am too wimpy to try a 365. :LOL:


Chris
 
Thanks for all the comments guys,

Just in, so I won't my 365 live until the early hours!!! Pic taken, just I have to process some images for a friend before I write todays entry...

Soz!

Gary.
 
Thanks for all the comments guys,

Just in, so I won't my 365 live until the early hours!!! Pic taken, just I have to process some images for a friend before I write todays entry...

Soz!

Gary.

Where's my fix............................ it not good keeping the crowds waiting.......


Right thats it im of to find some methadone
 
2669743242_31c60d04bb_o.jpg


Don't you love fresh new ideas? Daydreams which creep into your head when you least expect it, and refuse to budge until you have started translating said daydream into reality...I wonder how many projects are started in this way.

Well today, at work, an idea popped into my head. It related to both photography, my 365 and I guess, my new found love of expressing myself. At first it was a small daydream, a little niggle which was begging for more attention. I was sitting browsing the web, doing a bit of work, and trying to relax in the process, and the niggle started to dominate my thoughts. Before I was aware of it, I had already entered into full daydream mode, and the idea was now forcing its way around my head, and nothing I could do would shake it.

So, I opened up a new word document, and started taking notes. About 200 words later, I had a rough idea typed up, and i was satisfied I had given the daydream the attention it required...

Until 30 minutes later that is. I found myself again pre-occupied with the idea, I open the document I had saved earlier, added another 100 or so words of tasks and thoughts before leaving for the shops to start buying the bits and bobs required to turn my idea into a reality.

So here I am, at 1am, trying to finish yesterdays entry, and all I can think about is my idea, which so far, has cost me 300 words of typing time, £30 in a local store and several hours of increased brain activity!!!

I am struggling not to spill the beans too much, as I really feel I need to keep an element of surprise, however, I can say a few things which should help answer one or two questions. The idea is purely a personal project, and whilst it technically could make some money if implemented correctly, it will more than likely result in great personal satisfaction, and not a lot else. The idea will take quite a long time to materialise, possibly several months. It will definitely involve some creative photography, and I guess some creative writing too! And lastly, the idea I feel has probably been brewing subconsciously for the last few months, I see it as my way of putting a tight lid on an unfinished project, and when complete, I feel I will be able to move on from my current situation, in terms of photographic interest.

I can't wait to get at the meat and bones of this project, today I feel inspired.

Gary.
PS - yes, it's VERY dark. Deliberately so.
 
Back
Top