Critique Requiem for the Neglected

Pavel M

Pavel M

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Name
Pavel M
Edit My Images
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I produced this collage during the first wave of the pandemic, because I was shocked and outraged by the number of deaths of people in the long-term care institutions. Our Provincial government canceled the surprise infections a few months before the pandemic, making the poorly run places much worth. During the pandemic, people were dying not just from virus, but from dehydration, starvation, from being left in soiled clothing on beds and their bodies were piled in the cold room. Thousands died. Those were people that worked all their lives for the better of our Province and when they could no longer speak for themselves they were left to their fate.

The collage is a combination of an old burial area in Labrador taken years ago and a pair of hands taken for this image. Your blunt thoughts please.

https://flic.kr/p/2iXdsVH
View: https://www.flickr.com/photos/pavel_photophile2008/49851596803/in/dateposted/
 
It's a very striking image, from its tonal range and contrast. The hands are the only sign of life in the image. The shape made by the wrists connecting give a symbol of protection and care, almost a heart shape which is contrasted by the strong tones. The hands look quite relaxed, I wonder if a slight curl in the fingers would show another emotion of frustration or anger also.
The overall of the two images - hands and background - are quite balanced and interest is split well between the two. I suppose a third image adding another representation would further enhance it and add some more interest.
Thanks for sharing.
 
CavGez said:
The shape made by the wrists connecting give a symbol of protection and care, almost a heart shape which is contrasted by the strong tones. The hands look quite relaxed, I wonder if a slight curl in the fingers would show another emotion of frustration or anger also.
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It is interesting how my perception of the wrists differed from yours. I thought that they do reflect lamenting well- my intent. After reading your comments, I tend to agree with you. I missed the mark here. I need to experiment with different "hands" in different position to convey lamenting better.
CavGez said:
The overall of the two images - hands and background - are quite balanced and interest is split well between the two. I suppose a third image adding another representation would further enhance it and add some more interest.
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I am not sure I wanted a balance between hands and the cemetery. I wanted a cohesion - a single story. I guess it is tied to the previous point - my story which is meant to be both sad and angry did not get through. I can not imagine that adding another thing to this image would strengthen the story I wish to tell. The image is quite busy as is.

Those are excellent, thoughtful comments, @CavGez, addressing issues to which I needed an answers. You are also the only one with the courage to take this image on. Thank you very much
 
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Knowing what I know about you, and considering it's a composite, I'm guessing time has been spent on this.

To begin, the white bit is either calling out to me as some kind of growth, or distracts me from the hands. It's quite a tonal distraction for me.
Screenshot 2021-07-08 090310.jpg
(You have put "yes" to 'edit my images' hence why I post this. If you didn't realise and want me to remove it, just let me know - no problem)

Without reading that the hands were lamenting, it looked to me like the hands are "cupping" the "dead" - more in a caring 'higher power looking after you in the afterlife' kinda way. I saw no connection to the pandemic (without the help of the title) mainly because the graves look quite old and the graveyard looks untended. With recent graves, or an urban setting I might have made the connection perhaps. Titling images is probably another whole separate topic worthy of its own discussion though :)

I like the colour toning, and the dynamic range in the image which shows lots of detail. Perhaps a little too much detail on the "old" hands for my liking. My OCD initially wanted the hands to be central but I'm guessing the wall is an integral part of the composition and though it appears off balance to me, it still quite like it.

The lighting on the hands looks incongruous to the scene. Again, this is probably entirely down to my opinion, as I'm guessing it's intended to be an obvious composite image.

All in all, this gives me more of a native american feel with the toning and the graveyard (even though it's clearly Christian in nature). I think my main difficulty is connecting the title to the image.

Hope that helps. This is just one (more) opinion, so please take what you like & leave the rest.
 
I have no comments on the PP.
IMHO - Its very striking and I like it, to me it paints a picture of despair and the hands are almost praying for salvation. The tones work really well in conveying the darkness of the world we live in and the hands in someway give hope. The age of the hands suggests someone much older and wiser and that works well with the old cemetery and the darkened foreboding skies, the bold new cross reflecting a bit more light showing signs of a new beginning at same time asking why ?
 
Harlequin565 said:
Knowing what I know about you, and considering it's a composite, I'm guessing time has been spent on this.

To begin, the white bit is either calling out to me as some kind of growth, or distracts me from the hands. It's quite a tonal distraction for me.

(You have put "yes" to 'edit my images' hence why I post this. If you didn't realise and want me to remove it, just let me know - no problem)

Without reading that the hands were lamenting, it looked to me like the hands are "cupping" the "dead" - more in a caring 'higher power looking after you in the afterlife' kinda way. I saw no connection to the pandemic (without the help of the title) mainly because the graves look quite old and the graveyard looks untended. With recent graves, or an urban setting I might have made the connection perhaps. Titling images is probably another whole separate topic worthy of its own discussion though :)

I like the colour toning, and the dynamic range in the image which shows lots of detail. Perhaps a little too much detail on the "old" hands for my liking. My OCD initially wanted the hands to be central but I'm guessing the wall is an integral part of the composition and though it appears off balance to me, it still quite like it.

The lighting on the hands looks incongruous to the scene. Again, this is probably entirely down to my opinion, as I'm guessing it's intended to be an obvious composite image.

All in all, this gives me more of a native american feel with the toning and the graveyard (even though it's clearly Christian in nature). I think my main difficulty is connecting the title to the image.

Hope that helps. This is just one (more) opinion, so please take what you like & leave the rest.
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Excellent comments, Ian. they deal with the intent and how well it is conveyed to the viewer as with the craft. I am hearing from you too that I really did not convey my intent very well.

Clearly the hands gesture needs work. I am not quite sure how to express lament, anger and sadness effectively. Perhaps it can not be done.

As to the old versus recent cemetery, the more recent ones feel too pleasing and bucolic, unless you would have a row of fresh graves, which I do not have. The old Labrador graves was my best options, as they convey the spirit of neglect. My idea was not so much to reveal the graves as to convey the sense of sadness, loss, abandonment and that does come across to me that way.

I did not notice the bright area near the hands. Thank you for pointing it out so well. Now when I look at the photo I can see nothing else and it bothers me as it bothers you.

I did spent a fair bit of time lighting the hands. I used diffuse lighting as the scene was lit by diffuse lighting. I do not have a lighting system so I improvised. I think that the lighting on the hands is too harsh still, but that could be fixed by reducing the contrast. I was worried that the hands show too much detail, but at the same time, I wanted to convey that these are old hands (and they are). Clearly, I need to work on that.

As to the title. I was really outraged and saddened by the neglect of our fellow human beings that could no longer take care of themselves and I needed to express that somehow. It was in the middle of lockdown, so my options were limited. But I would not have done much better if it was not a lockdown. I did not intend to be literal with my image. I wanted to express the feelings and not the reality. I wanted to convey a sense of loss, and perhaps anger and I wanted to convey that the people that died was as abandoned as the graves. This is the area where I am OK with not being documentary in my interpretation. I expect that the viewer will make that connection.

Thanks again for great comments.
 
Compuwight said:
I have no comments on the PP.
IMHO - Its very striking and I like it, to me it paints a picture of despair and the hands are almost praying for salvation. The tones work really well in conveying the darkness of the world we live in and the hands in someway give hope. The age of the hands suggests someone much older and wiser and that works well with the old cemetery and the darkened foreboding skies, the bold new cross reflecting a bit more light showing signs of a new beginning at same time asking why ?
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Thank you, Steve. I am very pleased that my message was not totally lost and that some of it did bubble through despite the shortcomings that the other reviewers (correctly) identified. That shows me that perhaps with some extra work, I can do better. Thanks again.
 
Pavel M said:
Now when I look at the photo I can see nothing else and it bothers me as it bothers you.
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This can be a real downside to feedback. Once something is pointed out, it's impossible to unsee :(
 
Pavel, you're trying too hard. There's a textural inconsistency between various layers of the image. And the fingers of the left hand are far too close to the border, and frankly, the whole composition is idiotic - it doesn't hang together - it's incompetent.

The impression is that you're trying to engineer something that just doesn't seriously wash. Shout about art, if you like, but sorry, mate, you're hardly on the bottom rung.

And if you've been shown, as you claim, that doesn't say much for your curators. Commerce and arse-licking spring to mind.

Can I educate you? I doubt it.

I suspect that you are comfortably off, but artistically that's not a badge that counts. I allow that you might be genuine in your aims, but artistically, your equivalent age is, let's say 14.

I could have compassion for your being, if I knew anything about it, but you burst onto the scene here trumpeting about your artistic provenance & worth. I'm delivering your comeuppance.
 
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I was going to crack out the popcorn and settle down to watch the drama unfold....but unfortunately this attack is so childish it has stumbled over straight away, probably spilling rosé all over the carpet. How disappointing.
 
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