The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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Too many screws!!! :p
 
I said to the wife yesterday, "there's a broken condom lying on sofa". She replied "I wish you'd stop calling our son that"
 
PATIENT; This stress at work is really getting to me. I can't sleep and I get anxiety attacks. Have you any advice?
DOCTOR; I understand completely. A doctors' work is very stressful too. What I do when things get bad is to cancel my afternoon appointments, go home, and spend the afternoon making love to my wife. I suggest you do the same.

Two months later they meet at a social gathering:-
DOCTOR; You look better and you haven't been back to see me. Did you take my advice?
PATIENT: I certainly did. You are a wonderful man, doctor. I am so much better since I have been following your advice and I can't thank you enough. By the way, where did you get the wallpaper you have in your bedroom?
 
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A Group of guys, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch.
Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in
Uxbridge because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini-skirts.

Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where
they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet
at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses were attractive.
The food and service was good and the beer selection was excellent.

Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they
should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at
Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because there was plenty of parking, they
could dine in peace and quiet with no loud music, and it was good
value for money.

Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should
meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at
Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the restaurant was wheelchair
accessible and had a toilet for the disabled.

Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should
meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at
Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because they had never been there before.
 
I knew there'd be at least one clever dick out there :p
I don't see it needing to be clever, some of us are just able to flip/twist images in our heads.
An ability that proved very useful when learning about chiral molecules, several students I freely admit were cleverer than me needed to make a model & play with it for 5 minutes to see something I noticed immediately, and they had to do it all again for each new example.
 
I don't see it needing to be clever, some of us are just able to flip/twist images in our heads.
An ability that proved very useful when learning about chiral molecules, several students I freely admit were cleverer than me needed to make a model & play with it for 5 minutes to see something I noticed immediately, and they had to do it all again for each new example.

Yup, spacial awareness and visualisation. NB also works well for finding the light switch in the dark!

I find I can also read................upsidedown and mirror reversed ;) though the latter is slower :LOL:
 
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