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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
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OP
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- The real Chris
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This time YOU beat me to it
Marc
TPer Emeritus
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Tigger.ufo
Lady Penelope
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- Heather
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- Keith
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- Graeme
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Some fifty or so years ago when I first heard this old joke it was Harold Wilson.
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- matt
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Try it at 27 :-(
Gremlin
Houdini
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- Ingrid
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Difficult isn't the word I would useThat might be a tad difficult
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Gremlin
Houdini
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An 85-year-old man goes to see his doctor for his regular physical exam. The doctor says that the man needs to provide a sperm sample and gives him a jar saying, "Take this jar home with you and come back tomorrow with a sperm sample."
The next day the old man goes back to the doctors and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as when the doctor gave it to him. So the doctor asks what happened and why there is no sperm sample in the jar. The old man says, "Well, doc, it's like this... first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand - nothing; then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Maisie, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor is really shocked by all this and asks incredulously, "You asked your neighbor???"
The old man replies, "Yep, not one of us could get the jar open."
The next day the old man goes back to the doctors and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as when the doctor gave it to him. So the doctor asks what happened and why there is no sperm sample in the jar. The old man says, "Well, doc, it's like this... first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand - nothing; then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Maisie, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor is really shocked by all this and asks incredulously, "You asked your neighbor???"
The old man replies, "Yep, not one of us could get the jar open."
Mr Badger
Didymus
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Busted... fake news!
I like this post - the problem is that the behaviour of some MPs is bad enough, one could believe that factoid to be true.
D
Deleted member 49428
Guest
Nah that just means they are very good at covering up their actBusted... fake news!
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- Mike
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This is a JOKES thread not a news one.Busted... fake news!
However it's the fact that much of this seams believable that's so damming.
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- George.
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A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"