The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Got searched in a pub toilet last night by a Policeman he found a small bag of class A drugs.
"It's not my fault," I said, "Every time I try flushing them down the toilet they magically reappear back in my pocket again."
"Do you really expect me to believe that?" he laughed.
I said, "I'll prove it to you if you want me to!"
"Go on then." he smiled, handing me the bag.
After flushing them, he looked at me and said, "Well, show me your pocket then."
"What for?" I asked.
He said, "The drugs."
I said, "What drugs!!?"
 
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with, "A man once told me..."
 
sneeze.jpg
 
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