Steep
Nutcrack Rapids
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- Hugh
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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
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- Jak
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Too late Cobra! I was on holiday in Cyprus with wifey. I got a wee bit drunk and we went to bed one night.
I woke wifey up during the night because I was looking for the toilet, but I was in the wardrobe!!
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- Jim
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Reminds me of the story that went something like ....
"Great party, thanks for letting me stay over, by the way, does your lavatory have a courtesy light?"
"No?!?"
"Oh dear, sorry, I think I've p***ed in your fridge"
Mr Badger
Didymus
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It could be a very close shave in that case!
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- Toni
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- Toni
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Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president George W Bush his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
Mr Badger
Didymus
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I went on one of those Zoom speed dating things the other evening. I saw this really attractive woman; early 20s, blonde with a gorgeous figure, so I decided to talk to her. To break the ice I asked her where she was from and she replied "I love dogs"! I just clicked the off button - I mean, if she's so thick she can't answer a simple question like that!
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- Peter
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Took me a while to figure that one out....
badlywornroy
I am not macho
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- Roy
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Now that food has replaced sex in my life I can’t even get into my own pants.
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The difference between America and Britain...
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- Lee
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- Jak
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"Idiots... Hebrew is read from right to left... It says: 'Holy mackerel, dig the ass on that chick."Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols:
It was considered a unique find and the writings were said to be at least 3,000 years old! The piece of stone was removed, brought to the museum, and archaeologists from around the world came to study the ancient symbols. They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss the meaning of the markings. The president of the society pointed to first drawing and said:
"This is a woman. We can see these people held women in high esteem.
You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol is a donkey, so they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.
The next drawing is a shovel, which means they had tools to help them.
Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that during a famine, they seek food from the sea.
The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews." The audience applauded enthusiastically.
Then an old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said,
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- Keith
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- Keith
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