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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
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Nod
Tootles
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- Nod (UK)
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Reminds me of a session we had with a bar owner about 15 years ago. Started doing Johnnie Walker shots (on him!) with Red label, finished that and ended up doing the best part of a bottle of Black label between the 3 of us! He was running the bar at a loss as a tax dodge to write off against his other businesses and we were more than happy to help! Possibly the last bad hangover I had.
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- Graeme
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Is that two shots of Snakebite ?
Cheers and may your Soul be in Heaven five minutes before the Devil knows you're dead
Nod
Tootles
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- Nod (UK)
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What did you expect, drinking Red Label?
Pretty sure it was the Black label shots that did the damage - we ran out of Red after 2 or 3 rounds. Shame he didn't bring the Blue out!
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- Mike
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Surely that's VASTLY over estimating the power of the kit in front of them!
sphexx
Likes a dare
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- Richard
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I seem to rememembrr the true quote was “the world will only need 5 of these” or similar
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Which was, it seems, not what was actually said...I seem to rememembrr the true quote was “the world will only need 5 of these” or similar
You just can't believe anything you read, any more...
sphexx
Likes a dare
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Which was, it seems, not what was actually said...
You just can't believe anything you read, any more...
Oh illusions shattered
. Next you’ll be telling me IBM didn’t leave Bill Gates with the rights to the PC he created for them . And that the iPhone wasn’t a laughing stock when first announced .- Messages
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Which he didn't, Then again, nothing brings out the liar in people like the thud of cash landing on the desktop...
sphexx
Likes a dare
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Yes, I got that a bit scrambled and I’ve read the story often enoughWhich he didn't, Then again, nothing brings out the liar in people like the thud of cash landing on the desktop...
, brain a bit scrambled and body somewhat bionic, having just left hospital this pm .
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- Jim
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This is what I thought ofI seem to rememembrr the true quote was “the world will only need 5 of these” or similar
I predict that within 10 years, computers will be twice as powerful, ten thousand times larger, and so expensive that only the 5 richest kings of Europe will own them
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- ken
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Blind cashier
A woman goes into the Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.
A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades.
She says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway?.
He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. test line.
It's a good all-around combination and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."
She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!"
As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts.
At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who farted.
Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.
The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me the rod and reel was on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"
He replies, "Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Bear Repellent is $3.50.
She didn't say a thing.....just paid the bill and left !!
A woman goes into the Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.
A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades.
She says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway?.
He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. test line.
It's a good all-around combination and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."
She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!"
As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts.
At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who farted.
Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.
The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me the rod and reel was on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"
He replies, "Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Bear Repellent is $3.50.
She didn't say a thing.....just paid the bill and left !!
