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  1. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    Try reading the first letter of each sentiment down
  2. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    Possibly the person is from a country like Germany, where pedestrians must only cross the road when controlled by signals when the pedestrian light is green
  3. kennethwfd

    Nikon Coolpix P1000 camera finally announced with 24-3000mm

    Been looking at the P1000 and note the following Yes, the sensor is more in line with a phone than a FF DSLR Yes, IQ suffers at the extreme end of the zoom, IQ degredation and CA apparent. It is larger than any other bridge or P&S, the lens diameter is the same as the Canon 100-400 or Nikon...
  4. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    Shouldn't that be an ailing cephalapod ... As in Sick squid
  5. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    The corniest chat up line ever Come back to my plaice, we'll have a whale of a time. You see, I am not so shellfish anymore
  6. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    yes, stop and mull it over. This is being continued on porpoise. Remember in Wales "Whale kipper whelk home in the eel hides!"
  7. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    Manuel (and the music of the mountains) was a pseudonym of British musician and bandleader Geoff Love
  8. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    Three couples arrive at the Pearly Gates seeking admission St Peter looks up the credentials of the first couple and shakes his head "Money, money, all your life you worshipped money. Even your wife had to be called Penny" To the second couple, he says "You are no better, you worshipped the...
  9. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    Or to quote Blackadder "It's the only way of holding an intelligent conversation round here"
  10. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    A manager, his secretary and a junior member of staff find an old lamp in the car park. So they take it in turns to clean it up, and the genie inside offers each one a wish So the secretary says "Me first", I want to be in Barbados with my personal masseuse" A puff of magic light, and she's...
  11. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    A variation of this.... Little boy won't stop sucking his thumb. The family try everything they can think of, but he keeps on sucking his thumb Travelling by bus, mother says in exasperation, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, you'll end up like....she sees a pregnant woman and points at...
  12. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    That reminds me of two 80's jokes What is the difference between a Texan oilman and a pigeon? The pigeon can still make a deposit on a new Mercedes What can a pigeon do that Winnie Mandela can't? Sit on Nelson's column
  13. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    Roy saw a pair of cowboy boots in a sale, brought them and proudly went home in them. So he asks his wife "Notice anything different about me? She looks up and says "No" So Roy goes upstairs and takes off all his clothes except the boots and returns downstairs. "Now do you notice anything...
  14. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    There was the spinster of the parish, and church organist. One day, the pastor paid her a visit, and to his surprise, in the music room was a dish with a little water in it and a condom. so he asks why? "Well, " she said "I found it in the churchyard, the instructions say to keep moist and place...
  15. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    There is a true story (according to Tim Brooke Taylor) of a friend being fixed up with a blind date, and fancying his chances nipped into the chemist for a packet of condoms. When they were introduced to each other, they realised they had met before She had sold him the condoms Another true...
  16. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    This is based in fact, in that a musician was told his instrument was too large for hand luggage, so had to buy a second seat for it. so he insisted that it had to be served with onflight meals and drinks
  17. kennethwfd

    The Amazing Sony A7 / A9 / Anything else welcome Mega Thread!

    Interesting article as I am planning to upgrade soon, and am interested in the eye/animal eye AF of the Sony, being influenced by being given an old A200 with broken mode dial (stuck on M) and brought a couple of Minolta Dynax lenses for a few quid, and for an old camera, can give quite good results
  18. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    Man boards a train under the influence with lipstick smeared down his face and collar. He lurches into a compartment occupied by a priest, lurches as he sits down, bumping the priest before getting a newspaper out of his pocket and noisily turning the pages He turns to the priest and asks "Say...
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