If you have a Flickr account and link images on here to the image on Flickr they will look sharper. As it is her eyes don’t look very sharp. Also, what is the lens? Looks like a wideish angle. Compositionally I prefer the first.
Very soft and no life in the eyes - did you meter for her face ?
I tried a recovery in Photoshop CC - original on the left my edit on the right - not brilliant but I feel sure you can see a difference in the right direction?
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