Does this photo work?

[Tiploc]

Hi everyone, I'd welcome your thoughts on whether this image 'works' or not.
Naturally, the very fact I am asking this question suggests it probably doesn't, but I'd grateful for your perspectives. Because I know what I was going for when I took it, it's hard for me to view it objectively. I think it might be a bit too difficult to 'read'.

It would be useful to know:
- what you think it is meant to be a picture of, based on what you first see
- any thoughts on the composition/crop
- any views on the black and white/range of tones/processing

Don't be afraid of being honest. I joined a camera club for a while, and that was brutal...



Cheers,

Tiploc

 

[Deleted member 97794]

It doesn't work for me I'm afraid. There is no distinct subject, and if that was meant to be what the lady is viewing through the condensate wiped area of glass, then it isn't interesting enough to draw the eye. In terms of the crop/framing, the heavy black glass frame to the left of the image is very dominant and draws the eye away from what should be the focal point. Perhaps I'm not the best to comment on this though, I don't do street/urban photography.

 

[Tiploc]

Thanks Joe, I think you've hit the nail on the head about no distinct subject. And the point about the window frames. Much appreciated.

 

[Deleted member 97794]

Thanks Joe, I think you've hit the nail on the head about no distinct subject. And the point about the window frames. Much appreciated.

You're welcome. I think the biggest improvement area for us all, is learning to develop our eyes and getting that innate feeling for good composition. Learning to use the camera is the easy bit, training the eye takes a little longer and we're all still learning.

 

[gramps]

It doesn't 'work' for me, though it's fairly obvious what it is.
It might have more 'mystery' if the bus/coach surround was cropped out, leaving only the woman looking out of the wiped window.
What does puzzle me is that opening the image in Affinity Photo, I need to download profiles from 3 different cameras and even more lenses.

 

[swanseamale47]

Arty, but sadly not working for me. But what really matters is if you like it or not.

 

[garryknight]

I kind of like it as Impressionist art. And it brings back the feeling of sitting on the top deck of the bus, dreamily looking at your home town on a rainy, misty day. For me, the subject is the suburban housing.

 

[Tiploc]

Thanks for your replies and opinions, it's good to see a consensus emerge. Just to give a bit of context, this is a scan of 35mm negative, taken from the top deck of a bus stopped at a level crossing. In my mind, at the time, was a shot through the wiped area of window, of a train passing with enough motion blur to give the idea of movement, but also be recognisable as a train. And the person in the front seat witnessing it. I was a expecting a conventional train, which where I live, are blunt ended, and dark blue. So I thought it would show up well. In the event, this very streamlined 'high speed' train turned up, moving so painfully slowly that no motion blur occured. Even if the scenario I anticipated had occured, I can see now it still wouldn't have worked given the framing.

This was all spur of the moment . I took four rushed shots while the bus was stopped, of different views, the first three focussed on what is outside the bus. I then thought: should I focus on the misted-up window and let the outside be blurred? Took a fourth shot focussed on larger condensation droplets on a different window, again with a wiped area showing the world outside. However, when I got the negatives back that fourth frame was pure black - every now and again this partciular camera has a 'senior moment' and fails to work properly. Of the four shots I consider one of them passable, this one I wasn't sure of, and the other two were clear failures.

I actually really like the mood of this kind of image, although this one doesn't work. Everyday scenes of dull non-events, that are nevertheless relatable, are something I really enjoy.

Thanks again.