First time shooting with a model...

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3
Name
Daniel
Edit My Images
Yes
Had my first photoshoot with a model this week, here's one of my personal favourites! Critique welcome and appreciated!
DSC_0343.jpg
 
Hi Daniel,

Nice idea, using the whatever-it-is as a frame. It's also a nice conversion to mono with a good range of tones. I would maybe have liked to have seen this with her moving a whole rectangle to the right (her left) and you stepping a step to the right (her left) so that the frame-within-a-frame thing takes up more than just 2/3 of the image. It feels a little awkward as is*. The loose thumb might have been better gripping the bar(?) as that also looks a little awkward*. There's an interesting (in a good way) tilt to the head, and the eyes are open (not squinting) and the expression is... expressive... and not blank like some of these 'through the window' portraits. The whole thing looks soft to me, which could be down to uploading issues (all my stuff looks "soft when it isn't" on Flickr)
The bar down the right hand side is not straight and the angled gap upsets my... tidyness.... The space to the left of the image doesn't add anything*, which is why I though everyone should take a step to the right.

These are all minor things though. All in all, it's a really nice portrait. Just a few minor compositional & posing tweaks really. Also - I wish it was sharper.

*in my humble opinion - take what you like & ignore the rest!
 
For a first go.. you've done well! It's way better than my early attempts.

I don't really understand the frame within a frame thing in this case - it looks as though she's leaning on an opened door or window and that jars a bit. It might make more sense if the window was obviously closed & you were clearly outside.

I'm not a huge fan of the processing. It's just a little bit muddy for me.

I don't really like how the shadow of the nose appears. I think I'd have tried to angle her a little differently or lifted it in post.

.. but that's all small stuff, really.
 
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