How old is too old?

alpina

alpina

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A man who is not far from 50 meets a new lady who is 38.

They hit it off and decide to get married. Are they too old to start a family?

Serious question.
 
Age is just a number. Just look around there are 60 year olds climbing mount Everest and 30 year olds who cant climb two flights of stairs.

Medically there are more risks the older the parents.
 
munch said:
Age is just a number. Just look around there are 60 year olds climbing mount Everest and 30 year olds who cant climb two flights of stairs.

Medically there are more risks the older the parents.
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Very true,
 
alpina said:
No it's a question on a forum.
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An answer: Of course they're not too old. My sister gave birth to my niece at 39, my brother in law was 52 at the time. My niece is now 14 and they are a happy and active family.

Why do you ask?
 
I guess the guy is concerned that at 50 he feels worried that when the child is say twenty he will be an old man.
 
I'd say so long as the parent is in touch with what younger parents do with their children then no problem.
 
It all depends on the guy tbh. If he acts older now, whinges whines and moans about .......modern music for example, or the way da yoof speak and dress is he gonna like bringing a child into the world who mixes with children that share similar interests ? If the guys easy going, willing to try new things and not scared being with younger dads then whats he waiting for !!!
 
Coley. said:
It all depends on the guy tbh. If he acts older now, whinges whines and moans about .......modern music for example, or the way da yoof speak and dress is he gonna like bringing a child into the world who mixes with children that share similar interests ? If the guys easy going, willing to try new things and not scared being with younger dads then whats he waiting for !!!
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Very well said!
 
For me, it's an impossible question to answer without knowing the people in question quite well. For some couples that age it wouldn't be a problem but for others it would.
 
Actually, it all depends on the woman. Whether she can still have children or not. The question was are they too old to start a family, right? Not if they're too old to get married and have a good relationship.
 
Cagey75 said:
Actually, it all depends on the woman. Whether she can still have children or not. The question was are they too old to start a family, right? Not if they're too old to get married and have a good relationship.
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Yes, the question centres on the guys age, Is 50 too old to be a dad? Lots of positives in my mind.

He is certainly mature in attitude, reasonably financially set, enjoys life to the full.

It's just the worry of the future that's giving him some concerns. Plenty of young guys die suddenly so there are no certainties in life.
 
Cagey75 said:
Actually, it all depends on the woman. Whether she can still have children or not. The question was are they too old to start a family, right? Not if they're too old to get married and have a good relationship.
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in my mind, 50 is far too old to be having children. I'm 38 and my eldest is 8 - I wish I had been younger when we started having kids. in saying that I'm the same age as my dad when he started a family back in 72
 
Its something I feel quite strongly about. For me, having older parents was a constant...... not struggle, more a battle. Anything from wanting to dress differently, to wanting to visit different places that only old people find interesting, to even being allowed to play with my mates instead of just being shut in the house to watch tv- luckily I had a neighbour who was younger (well definately mentally anyway )who took me under his wing - I class the time I spent with them as my happy childhood memories.
My brother didn't detest the way he was being brought up so just went with the flow. He's like a real life my name is Earl character now. Wouldn't have a clue how to use a computer, or use anything vaguely electronic.
I've got a mate who I could kind of relate to, but different situation. His parents are older but crackers as anything, up for a laugh etc etc - really understand how younger people behave/interact with each other. Unfortunately as much as their minds may be young their health isn't fairing so well.
Can you share any more about the situation ? - completely understand if you'd rather not
 
If he's a young and active 50yr old, there's every reason he can be a young and active 70 year old. My Dad was 40 years older than me, that wasn't much of a problem. If they both want kids, then go for it, wanting them is better than having them because they think they ought to.
Peter Stringfellow has just had a baby with his wife and he's 72. Heard him on the radio just after his daughter was born. He's over the moon. He's intent on sharing as much of his new daughters life that he possibly can and intends on having loads of photos, videos and momentos of their life together, so she'll have something more than just his money when he is gone.
 
I'm one of 5 (4 remaining) and my parents were cracking on when they had me.
I lost my mum at 23, and my dad at 33. Not a kid, no, but there have been times, especially since losing my mum that I would have given my right arm to have my mum around. Also my eldest brother and I are so far apart in age that we have nada in common, and I feel like I barely know him. Hence it's been 4 years since I've seen him, and that fact bothers me not one jot.

I totally understand that it's possible to lose a parent at any time, but in the grand scheme of things and even barring unexpected / accidental death, if you have a kid at 50 there's more than a good chance you won't be around to celebrate your child's 21st.

Just my opinion.
 
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nilagin said:
he possibly can and intends on having loads of photos, videos and momentos of their life together, so she'll have something more than just his money when he is gone.
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None of which can possibly compare to having your dad around (assuming a good relationship...and I know there are exceptions to that too).
 
I was 32 when my Mum died and 44 when my Dad died. As I said earlier my Dad was 40yrs older than me but he was 84 when he died. I still wish they were both around even now. As Ruth says you could lose a parent at any age, a twenty year old could die tomorrow leaving a baby behind.
 
On the money side, would you need to be working at 70 odd to get them through Uni?
 
Mikesphotaes said:
On the money side, would you need to be working at 70 odd to get them through Uni?
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Same could be said to pay for a wedding or anything. 20yrs to save though.
I say go for it, it's better to have given it your best shot and make the most of it, rather than later wondering about what might have been and then wishing you had.

I believe my sister-in-laws husband was 51 (4 years ago) when his youngest son was born. They seem to be doing alright.
 
I'd just say good luck to you them do what you they feel is right (y)

(all these "my mate" threads are nearly always about the OP ;))
 
No it's not too old. Why should it be. Although not quiet that age my parents were "older" parents and I personally wouldn't have had it any other way.
 
you go for it...
 
.
 
if the worry is over what happens in the future then perhaps it is a question for the doctor to answer?
 
panther_87k said:
if the worry is over what happens in the future then perhaps it is a question for the doctor to answer?
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A doctor can't predict what will happen in 10 years.
Nor, frankly, will he give a monkey's.
 
Good grief.. what an almighty sad question this is..

Having a baby should be a natural thing.. not planned like your about to start a business or something.. Just carry on wiht life and see what happens..
 
I'm 41

My kids are aged 13, 4, 2 and 7 months.

We always wanted a few children but we lost a few in the eight years between our first and second child. My wife (mum to all my kids) is a few years younger than me so when things started to work out for us again we decided our ages were OK.

No more planned though - I'm getting the bricks soon lol
 
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alpina said:
A man who is not far from 50 meets a new lady who is 38.

They hit it off and decide to get married. Are they too old to start a family?

Serious question.
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Do they BOTH want to start a family?
 
50 is the new 30.

My parents, and my wife's parents, were old at my age.

My daughter is 18 today (big party at our house!) and her friends think we are the coolest parents around :)

One day I'll act my age.
 
Difficult decision and commentary

The age thing is fascinating. Never a right or wrong time. BUT this link might challenge - An IVF issue though...

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/12625186/ns/health-womens_health/t/british-woman-give-birth-age/

But at 63 she was a youngster compared to

http://www.hindustantimes.com/StoryPage/StoryPage.aspx?id=f9946781-295d-474e-9d96-5b29896ef96b

My gardener had to take a break at the age of 47 when she became pregnant 17 years after her previous child in what is deemed a menopausal baby - so beware it can happen......

Age is a number they say but frankly it is a matter of choice. I was 35 when my youngest wss born and 20 when the eldest arrived with anorher in the muiddle.

All done and dusted and all bar the youngsst have their own families. But for me personally - how would I react if I met a fertile woman, fell in love and SHE wanted children with me?

I have no idea right now..... will let you know if it happens ;-)

None of us can predict tomorrow, we can plan but short of getting the bricks out.........

Steve
 
My parents were each 39 when I was born, which was far less common in those days.

My mum often said that climbing trees with her 8 year old son helped keep her younger longer! :LOL:
 
viv1969 said:
A doctor can't predict what will happen in 10 years.
Nor, frankly, will he give a monkey's.
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Well of course, no one can predict what will happen in 10 years regardless of a persons age. But a good doctor (there are some out there believe me) would be happy to give an "M.O.T" so to speak and would be more than happy to advise on the subject of parenthood at such an age.
 
KIPAX said:
Good grief.. what an almighty sad question this is..

Having a baby should be a natural thing.. not planned like your about to start a business or something.. Just carry on wiht life and see what happens..
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In my opinion, it is very sensible to plan and think about these things.

To OP - I would say that 50 is not too old to be a new dad if the person is really committed to being a loving full on dad. Some younger dads are too immature to be looking after a family, so being more mature can be an advantage as you might be calmer, more forgiving etc.
 
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