How old is too old?

Mature is not something I'd be accused of :)

I just look it.

You're correct though, being older/maturer does help in a lot of ways.
 
PatrickO said:
In my opinion, it is very sensible to plan and think about these things.

To OP - I would say that 50 is not too old to be a new dad if the person is really committed to being a loving full on dad. Some younger dads are too immature to be looking after a family, so being more mature can be an advantage as you might be calmer, more forgiving etc.
Click to expand...

As above....its better to think and plan. Interesting comments guys(y)
 
The fact is it will be potentially be harder to conceive at 38 than at a younger age - so the question is not just starting a family NOW, but possibly a bit down the line. Helpfully, I think the answer is down to the individual concerned, but I suspect that the father's age is not unusually high.
FWIW (probs nothing) I am about to turn 40 and my husband is 52, and I kind of made a decision a long time ago that I didn't want children. I still reserve the right to change my mind, if I have a biological clock and it ever starts ticking
 
Headless Lois said:
The fact is it will be potentially be harder to conceive at 38 than at a younger age - so the question is not just starting a family NOW, but possibly a bit down the line. Helpfully, I think the answer is down to the individual concerned, but I suspect that the father's age is not unusually high.
FWIW (probs nothing) I am about to turn 40 and my husband is 52, and I kind of made a decision a long time ago that I didn't want children. I still reserve the right to change my

In all things its not about rights but choice.mind, if I have a biological clock and it ever starts ticking
Click to expand...

A very balanced view and one my second wife had.

Its not about rights but plain choice.

All the rhetotic about having too many childen etc is plain stupidity. An umle and aunt of mine had 13 children ans all were lovdd, educated, brought up to respect themselves and others, values the children took wiyh them into their lives and passed on themselves. The last was born when my Aunt was 43.

And before the dribbling Daily Fail acolytes prattle on about benefits etc - none claimed and all employed and paying taxes etc As are their children of working age.

Simple choice.

S
 
Last edited:
men over 50 are statistically more likely to be firing blanks (or at least fewer live rounds to blanks ratio) but you can always get tested if that worries you

The other thing thats worth mentioning is to make sure you have more than adequate life insurance (thats really true at any age, but given that when the kids are at uni you'll be a minimum of 68 , it would be good to guarantee that if you die before then your missus will be able to afford to look after them until thet can look after themselves)

But those are practical considerations - ethically i can't see any problem, you are both adults and its no ones business other than yours

( my wife is ten years younger than me (40 and 30) while one of my colleagues age 43 is with a 62 year old )
 
big soft moose said:
men over 50 are statistically more likely to be firing blanks (or at least fewer live rounds to blanks ratio) but you can always get tested if that worries you

The other thing thats worth mentioning is to make sure you have more than adequate life insurance (thats really true at any age, but given that when the kids are at uni you'll be a minimum of 68 , it would be good to guarantee that if you die before then your missus will be able to afford to look after them until thet can look after themselves)

But those are practical considerations - ethically i can't see any problem, you are both adults and its no ones business other than yours

( my wife is ten years younger than me (40 and 30) while one of my colleagues age 43 is with a 62 year old )
Click to expand...

Was thinking about the "firing blanks" issue recently. (In my case the snip sorted that out after my third). A friend of mine was having a "relationship" at work with a woman 28 years younger. He thought he was firing blanks and disputed being the supplier when she announced being pregnant. After baby was born a DNA showed he was indeed the father. Further tests showed a tiny sperm count. It only shows the adage "it only takes one". He and the mother do not see each other but he pays for the child as required. At 63 he is both chuffed and despondent!

Steve
 
not just the problem for a woman to get pregnant the older she gets but the risk of health problems during and after pregnancy increase as do the risks of genetic errors such as downs occurring. woman are just not made to make babies as they get older unlike men.

Headless Lois said:
The fact is it will be potentially be harder to conceive at 38 than at a younger age - so the question is not just starting a family NOW, but possibly a bit down the line. Helpfully, I think the answer is down to the individual concerned, but I suspect that the father's age is not unusually high.
FWIW (probs nothing) I am about to turn 40 and my husband is 52, and I kind of made a decision a long time ago that I didn't want children. I still reserve the right to change my mind, if I have a biological clock and it ever starts ticking
Click to expand...
 
An update. They decided to just get on with it and baby is due in July !
 
I have friends aged 49 (her) and 52 (him) who have a delightful 4year old who they adore and to whom they are giving a terrific upbringing. This is his second marriage and he has grand kids the same age as his little daughter, so perhaps they are a typical. Odeon family?

They bring maturity and security to their daughter's upbringing ... Little Zoe keeps them young! But this is not about arithmatic, it's about whether the relationship is strong, mature and generally in the right place for both partners to consider the long term commitment of being parents. Only those involved know the answer to that.
 
alpina said:
A man who is not far from 50 meets a new lady who is 38.

They hit it off and decide to get married. Are they too old to start a family?

Serious question.
Click to expand...

Does anyone actually care. Let them get on with whatever they want to do.
 
You see, the beauty of the more 'mature' parent is that when lil' ol' me comes a calling once a year, the Dad has been around long enough to acquire a quality palette for (and decent stock of) the finer things in life, which makes my job easier when a little 'treat' is left out! :beer:

Well done, I say! *hic*

:D
 
Cobra said:
I'd just say good luck to you them do what you they feel is right (y)

(all these "my mate" threads are nearly always about the OP ;))
Click to expand...
:agree:
 
Irrespect of who is asking the question, if the couple need to put the question on the web to find an answer then neither are mature enough to consider having kids imo.
 
I have to admit that when I read the original opening post, I did try to look for a punchline as I didn't get the joke - then I realised it was a serious question. :eek:ops:
 
u8myufo said:
Irrespect of who is asking the question, if the couple need to put the question on the web to find an answer then neither are mature enough to consider having kids imo.
Click to expand...

That's a bit harsh I think - what's wrong with using a forum of people to help you work through a concern? It's not always ideal to confide in 'real life' friends / family and the anonymity of the web means you can be much more candid.
 
Daysleeper40 said:
That's a bit harsh I think - what's wrong with using a forum of people to help you work through a concern? It's not always ideal to confide in 'real life' friends / family and the anonymity of the web means you can be much more candid.
Click to expand...

In all honesty I only said that to try and emphasise the fact I cannot understand why a decision like that needs to be asked on a forum or come to think of it on the interenet even. We are not talking about buying a washing machine here are we? Like I say I cannot see why a couple would want the opinions of others to bring a child into the world. And I also find hard to understand what you mean by it`s not always ideal to confide in real life:shrug: Why not? I read that as they either feel to embarrassed to ask people close to them, be that friends or family or perhaps even too frightened to ask. But to sum it up, if they are not sure if they want any then don`t.(y)
 
Last edited:
Looking at it from another point of view. You have a couple who cannot decide if they should have a child or not, they ask the question out here. They get answers such as , yeh it`s fine, ooo I dunno about that, you should not have any at that age because of xyz, you should have a child because of xyz, plus another 1001 reasons for and against. So where exactly does that leave both of them who could not even make a decision in the first place? Other peoples opinions on a matter such as this have no real bearing on how things could possibly turn out for them later on down the line if they had a child. I could make it a whole lot easier with their decision making. If they want a child then have one. If they are unsure then dont and leave it untill such a time when they have made a definate decision (y)
 
Hmm, I don't share my personal life on forums, but that's just the way I am. I don't see it as a problem if other people want to though.

Deciding to have a child isn't always a very rational or logical choice. If both parties are fertile, and in a relationship, these things usually sort themselves out. Whatever.
 
Think of it from the child's point of view... Would you have wanted a 70 year old Dad at the age of 18? I know I wouldn't.
 
Last edited:
Eddzz!! said:
Think of it from the child's point of view... Would you have wanted a 70 year old Dad at the age of 18? I know I wouldn't.
Click to expand...

That`s if he lives that long :shrug:
 
I'm sorry, the problem with having a 70 year old dad when you are 18 is what exactly?
 
fabs said:
I'm sorry, the problem with having a 70 year old dad when you are 18 is what exactly?
Click to expand...

Health issues mainly. Older people simply aren't up to some of the things a younger parent would be. Going on bike rides and long hikes with your kids. Travelling here, there and everywhere. My grandparents are in their 70s and 80s and struggle to drive a few miles, let alone walk them. Being proactive is what I'm aiming at here. That isn't exclusive to just older people, I know, but it does have an effect. I wouldn't have wanted to have spend my late teens devoid of some of the moments I enjoyed with my younger, fitter, healthier parents.

[EDIT] Not to mention the tremendous amount of grieving a young person would go through seeing their parents die at such an early time in said childs life. I'm 22 and if my parents died tomorrow - well that's just unimaginable. Every child deserves to live a large amount of their life beside their parents.
 
Last edited:
I suppose there are different ways of looking at the "older parent" situation, but I'm very uncomfortable with the idea of calling other people on their personal choices.

Having said that, I had a friend in Hong Kong who was 76 and had a 3 year old daughter. He was as fit as most younger men, but..............
 
MartynK said:
I suppose there are different ways of looking at the "older parent" situation, but I'm very uncomfortable with the idea of calling other people on their personal choices.

Having said that, I had a friend in Hong Kong who was 76 and had a 3 year old daughter. He was as fit as most younger men, but..............
Click to expand...

but... BUT - he was dead by the time she was 15? At least she became accustom to the feeling of grief at a young age!
 
fabs said:
I'm sorry, the problem with having a 70 year old dad when you are 18 is what exactly?
Click to expand...

Having to keep going down the bloody post office to collect his pension would jarr me of for starters Marc :p
 
My Ex Neighbour married his wife (43) and they had two kids....... He was 64 when they married....:banana:
 
POAH said:
in my mind, 50 is far too old to be having children. I'm 38 and my eldest is 8 - I wish I had been younger when we started having kids. in saying that I'm the same age as my dad when he started a family back in 72
Click to expand...

I don't think age should be a factor....just when you are happy to go for it......My wife and I decided to marry young, have our kids young and live life........I am now 44, wife is 44, eldest is 22 and youngest is 20..........We are now expecting our first grandchild (in 3 weeks) :banana::banana::banana: .....We always have told our kids that career is not everything, happiness within your family is.......My daughter (22) finished uni, got pregnant with her partner ( I hope ) and plans to return to her career path when the family is complete......I have warned son (20) to put 2 condoms on and give her the pill whilst he is at uni :LOL:.......


It all depends on how each couple wants to progress within the family unit......I suppose
 
Last edited:
just remember that it is a medical fact that women of that age are more likely to have twins

I would listen to folk who have older parents

my ex-husband was born to older parents (both in their 40s when they had him) and they're both still around and active and both have outlived him :(
 
fabs said:
I'm sorry, the problem with having a 70 year old dad when you are 18 is what exactly?
Click to expand...


good call, my dad is 73 and he's still my dad, same dad as he was when I was 18 and he was 41
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top