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Over the past few months my mums health has really degraded. She was diagnosed with terminal cancer last year, and has been really well with it. However, a couple of months ago she became really poorly and we moved her into a hospice. I've been at her bedside and on call for the past few months and dedicated most of my free time to looking after her and caring for her. I work full time, My brother is also around, when he's not offshore.
I'm really struggling with it all, and my brother doesnt particularly like me, as i've only just discovered.
He has pretty much blanked me for years and never explained why, just gives me the silent treatment and ignores me. I've messaged him a couple of times and tried to reach out, but he's never responded. Even when i've said i'm struggling.
I finally confronted him and he told me why, for reasons i feel are really trivial, but i feel much better and i can move on. My mum was also in that conversation.
I think she might have had a word with him in private as he seems to be treating me with a bit more respect now. Although, he wont ever return to being a close brother, and when my mum passes. he will distance himself for good. I can cope with that, but its a shame not to have him as a friend and a brother.
My mum is now back home and much more comfortable, and stable. She isnt really mobile, but is in very good spirits, mainly due to morphene and steroids.
Carers go in 3 times a day and see to her whilst we are at work.
I really want to have a break, a weekend away with my wife or daughter, a day out with my camera, or just some "me" time, but i feel really selfish and cant bring myself to go out. Im stuck in a never ending routine, but it could be much worse. i could be in my mums situation where she is afraid of what will happen next, and inevitably, death. I spend all the hours possible with her, without neglecting my wife and daughter.
Am i being selfish wanting to have a break?
I'm really struggling with it all, and my brother doesnt particularly like me, as i've only just discovered.
He has pretty much blanked me for years and never explained why, just gives me the silent treatment and ignores me. I've messaged him a couple of times and tried to reach out, but he's never responded. Even when i've said i'm struggling.
I finally confronted him and he told me why, for reasons i feel are really trivial, but i feel much better and i can move on. My mum was also in that conversation.
I think she might have had a word with him in private as he seems to be treating me with a bit more respect now. Although, he wont ever return to being a close brother, and when my mum passes. he will distance himself for good. I can cope with that, but its a shame not to have him as a friend and a brother.
My mum is now back home and much more comfortable, and stable. She isnt really mobile, but is in very good spirits, mainly due to morphene and steroids.
Carers go in 3 times a day and see to her whilst we are at work.
I really want to have a break, a weekend away with my wife or daughter, a day out with my camera, or just some "me" time, but i feel really selfish and cant bring myself to go out. Im stuck in a never ending routine, but it could be much worse. i could be in my mums situation where she is afraid of what will happen next, and inevitably, death. I spend all the hours possible with her, without neglecting my wife and daughter.
Am i being selfish wanting to have a break?