Where theres a will

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Mark Molloy
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A sensitive one. 3.5 years ago my mother passed away. We had fallen out 17 years before hand and had never spoken since then. She had a long term illness and wasnt able to make decisions for herself for a few years before she died.

My nephew who grew up with me kept in touch and was the only one in the family who spoke to me. He told me i was kept in my mothers will even though we werent on speaking terms.

My father i would think would have been passed the items in the will when my mother died unfortunately he died a few months ago and im not sure if he left a will etc.

I have a brother who i wont ever talk to and a sister who i would say hi to if we ever met but thats as far as it goes.

My brother stayed with my parents all his life in the family home and would expect him to continue staying there however i feel as if other items which may have been in the will if there was one would be split between my brother and sister. Now if thats what my parents wanted then great but i know from past experience that both my brother and sister are money motivated. If i was due a share of the family house and possibly another property then i think my brother should be given the family home seeing as its still his home but would need to think about everything else.

At the monent i dont know if there is actually a will left by my father or if so its contents. If a will was left by my mother either. If no will then how do the assets be split if need be remembering i may choose if given the chance to allow my brother and sister the biggest majority given they were there for my parents when i wasnt.

So how do i procede( living in Scotland so some laws may differ from England). I cant speak to my brother or sister but want to know where i stand either if a will was left or if no will was left by my father. Cheers.
 
If there's a will you go by its directions. If no will then I think the estate would be split equally between you all. There will need to be (you would have to apply for) a "Grant of Confirmation", the Scots version of probate which can take up to a year. Go speak to a solicitor, your brother and sister too as you'll need to deal with them at some point.
 
At the monent i dont know if there is actually a will left by my father or if so its contents. If a will was left by my mother either.
This is an absolutely shambolic aspect of the British legal system. People are encouraged to write wills, but when someone dies there is often no way of knowing whether they did leave a will, or where it is, or whether there's a newer version, or anything like that.

Generally, the only way to find out is to ask people who were close to the deceased. If your mother had written a will, your father would probably have known about it. If your father had written a will, maybe your brother might know about it. That's basically how it works. You just have to ask around the likely suspects to see if anybody knows.

Another issue, though, is that if somebody does have a copy of the will there is no mechanism compelling them to produce it. Suppose your mother wrote a will containing bequests for her three children, but your father disagreed with that because of the way you'd fallen out with them. It would be very easy to just say to the world no, there's no will, I thought she wrote one but I can't find it anywhere. Then he'd inherit everything as her husband and he could decide who he thought "deserved" anything.

At the end of the day you're probably going to have to talk to your sister and, especially, your brother who is living in your parents' home.
 
I personally think that the French system is fairer, where siblings receive equal shares of the "inheritance" should there be any, subject of course to any major reason why that should not be the case.
My sister has never left home, and to all intents and purposes is living off my dad's pension (she hasn't worked for around six years AFAIK). They moved away from us (previously took one hour by car to see them) around six years ago, after inheriting a large sum of money from an aunt (very complicated circumstances, highly suspicious), and are now around six hours away - driving and boat, so not easy to visit. Neither of them have transport - sister never learned to drive by choice, preferring to get lifts from folks who owned a car.
I have no idea what was in my mother's will (she told me she did make a will, but died eleven years ago), my dad and sister will not discuss it with me, and I have no idea who the family solicitor is - if there is one.
So, I have simply put it out of my mind, preferring to concentrate on more positive things which are within my control.
 
Thanks for the replies so far. I know my mother wrote a will but no idea if i was written out of it or not. My dad wouldnt write me out of his will if he had one as he had admitted the fall out in the family was his fault due to his drink issue at the time and knows the position he put me and my family in. He did later( 1 year before he died start drinking again) so anything could have been possible. As for my brother then thats a no go area as we never did get on and he tried to hide the funeral times for both parents from me. My sister had already emptied 1 house of valuables the day after the funeral so unlikely to get much joy from her. I think the only way would be to do it legally if possible. As i said i wiuld want my brother to have the family home as long as he didnt sell it soon afterwards for profit- its a 3 bedroom house just for him( no partner).

Who would be able to access bank accounts etc or is that safe for now?
 
Even when wills have been left, they can be contested. Especially where one person feels another's inheritance is wrong or unfair. However if no will has been left, then the estate would be shared equally between all offspring, regardless of whether one feels they deserve more than another sibling. An agreement amongst yourselves would be required for unequal shares.
 
I personally think that the French system is fairer, where siblings receive equal shares of the "inheritance" should there be any, subject of course to any major reason why that should not be the case.

You've never tried to buy a house in france then, where the siblings all own part...
 
If there is a will there must be an executor of the will whose job it is to ensure the instructions of the will are carried out properly and legally. The executor generally will have access to bank accounts and have the authority to close accounts and to instruct a solicitor etc.
 
OP,
I'll be very honest, if you've fallen out with the family, haven't spoken to them for ages and don't want to, then walk away from this as well. Don't even give it a moments thought, it's not worth the hassle.
I think this is probably good advice. Deaths and wills bring out the absolute worst in families. Best avoided unless you have a good reason not to.

OP, I think you need to think through very carefully what you actually want out of this, in terms of material goods but also (perhaps more importantly) in terms of the process. Unless and until proven otherwise, you are probably entitled to 1/3 of your parents' estate, including 1/3 of [the value of] the house, etc. If you don't want that, what do you want?
 
I think this is probably good advice. Deaths and wills bring out the absolute worst in families. Best avoided unless you have a good reason not to.

OP, I think you need to think through very carefully what you actually want out of this, in terms of material goods but also (perhaps more importantly) in terms of the process. Unless and until proven otherwise, you are probably entitled to 1/3 of your parents' estate, including 1/3 of [the value of] the house, etc. If you don't want that, what do you want?

There was more than 1 house a while back. My mother bought my grans house before she died. The house was let to my neice for a while but now a non relative is in the house. That house may have been sold when my mum took unwell but as yet i have no idea. At this stage i want to know if i would be entitled to anything in the absence of a will or proven i was written out if a will was written. I could then decide the way forward or not if it is the case. My mother had a lot of money in the bank when i was around but that may gave gone on care etc when her illness took hold and she wasnt able to think for herself.

I will take note and think seriously but causing a family dispute isnt on my list of wants or needs but also it wouldnt make a bit of difference to my either given no contact for 20 years.
 
I find this a very odd situation to be honest and am very much leaning toward the advice above ie walk away.

If you've had nothing to do with the family then why would you want anything to do with them now, you can't have your cake and eat it really?

If you really do want to find out then either speak to the brother and sister or better yet, instruct a solicitor to talk to their solicitor or to them to investigate the estate / will situation, simple.
 
Again, go see a solicitor. If your siblings have requested a GofC there will be a record which any solicitor can access, if they have not made the request then the estate especially the house(s) does not belong to them and they will not be able to sell or get loans based on it. There are lots of issues that can arise in day to day life that make it important to get the confirmation.

I went through the process last year when my sister died, we co-owned the family house and she didn't leave a will. It took 11 months from start to finish though technically it was done in 8 months, the rest was just waiting for the system to spit out the certificate. Part of the process is a search for any other people who may have a right to inherit.
 
Thirty years or so ago when my mother died I lived 300 miles away ,it took us a day to organise childcare for the kids and drive to London ,by the time we got there the property had been emptied by my relatives everything was gone ,I had no way to trace monies ,bank accounts ,family photos etc . And I’m a only child . As stated death brings out the worst in people ... .
So mark you have two options walk away or get into a fight which you or may not win over monies and property which you may or may not have title to ,the second choice will cause you grief and aggravation but If you Win will leave you feeling good .
It will however undoubtedly cost you money depends whether the end result justifies the means ,as you don’t have contact with your family nothing lost there .the choice is yours ,just remember you’ve never seen a poor solicitor
 
At this stage i want to know if i would be entitled to anything in the absence of a will or proven i was written out if a will was written. I could then decide the way forward or not if it is the case.
OK, that sounds like you want your fair / legal share. In which case you're going to have to talk to your siblings and you're probably going to have to go legal . Good luck!
 
Stewart, at the moment i just want info if there was a will or not. If i find family have tried to hide info from me then likely i would apply for a fair legal share. If all above board then im unlikely to take it further. Its info i require.
That's what I said, you're just using different words. If you're entitled to something, then you want it. Don't kid yourself it's about "information".

I'm not saying this to be argumentative. If you go through with this it is going to be difficult and tiresome. You need to be clear why you're doing it, and I don't think you are yet.
 
That's what I said, you're just using different words. If you're entitled to something, then you want it. Don't kid yourself it's about "information".

I'm not saying this to be argumentative. If you go through with this it is going to be difficult and tiresome. You need to be clear why you're doing it, and I don't think you are yet.

Which is why I said - is it worth the agro and upset?
What do you think you may be entitled to, that you are missing out on? Part of the house, an equal share of the estate, it can't be anything personal to remember them as you've not been part of their life nor them yours for several years.

So, you need to seriously ask yourself if you're doing this out of a moral outrage at your estranged family, perhaps someone is saying you're entitled to xxxxxx, just why after all this time do you think you might have any part of the estate.

I guess if you decide you still want to go ahead then find out who the executor is - but that would mean you speaking to a family member, probably reigniting old wounds - after all look at it from their side, there's money around, looks whos suddenly decided to stick his nose in...

Deaths are the worse time for families.
 
For me, I think contacting a solicitor would be the way I'd go. If there's a Will, it'll have to be produced, if not then you're entitled to 1/3rd share.
Let the solicitor deal with it so you have as little or as much contact with your siblings as you want.
 
Let the solicitor deal with it so you have as little or as much contact with your siblings as you want.
I totally agree with this, OK so it was England not Scotland, but I doubt that there would be much difference if any ..
A few years ago I was involved in a similar situation when my ex's dad died.
This was no where near as acrimonious but still "very awkward" none the less.

We ( my ex and I ) engaged a legal eagle, he did it all, "Found" money that no one knew about , divided the "estate"
equally among the siblings, and no one needed to talk to anyone else.
I can't remember how much his fee was, but I remember thinking at the time that it was very reasonable,
It certainly saved a lot of hassle / grief.

Certainly down "here" ( well they did) they give 20-30 mins of their time free,
You could always have a word, tell him / her the situation, see what the cost is likely to be and find out the procedure.
 
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