I prefer the closed eye shot. That eye make-up makes it really interesting, and initially intriguing. The lighting is a bit flat and up front IMO though. Makes it look too much like on-camera flash. Well framed though.
The background is very distracting however.. not so much the red pattern in the right, but mainly the ceiling/wall lines cutting through the headdress etc.
Were you in full control of the shot? I mean was she modelling exclusively for you, or was this some event you were audience to? If the latter, then I suppose that may not be entirely your fault, but if the former, take a good look around your viewfinder and imagine you are looking at a finished print before you press the shutter. If she's modelling for you, there's time to take a minute and examine the shot... even if you have to resort to looking at it on the screen. If it was a shot in a documentary series or an illustrative piece in an editorial I don't think anyone would mind, but as a stand alone image I'd have moved her around a bit so only the red patterned background was in frame (if possible).