My overwhelming thought is the your white balance is too cool, this is a silver camera but in these photos it's looking almost blue...what are you using for light painting? My guess is its a white LED of some sort...for this you usually need quite a warm white balance to compensate for how cool the source is...
The lighting is very flat to the point of looking like low power direct flash, the whole point of light painting is to move the light/paint with it through the exposure to the lighting emphasises the shape/lines of what ever your subject is while controlling how much light each part receives
Some of these the shallow DoF really works both on for example the birds eye view of the camera I'm really drawn to the fact that hotshoe is OOF a broader DoF would have really helped this shot
Matt