Sadio Mane, a role model for wealthy footballers ?

[badlywornroy]

 

[imattersuk]

Depends if you approve of a 31 year old marrying an 18 year old that he met when she was 15.

 

[ancient_mariner]

Depends if you approve of a 31 year old marrying an 18 year old that he met when she was 15.

If he shows her the same kind of consideration that he seems to have shown his home town then she'll be at least as well off with him as with someone her own age. The age difference is much less of a problem than the way the relationship is managed.

 

[DemiLion]

Depends if you approve of a 31 year old marrying an 18 year old that he met when she was 15.

I can think of a thirteen year old girl and an eighteen year old boy that met, got married eight years later and remained so for 74 years.

Was that wrong?

 

[imattersuk]

If he shows her the same kind of consideration that he seems to have shown his home town then she'll be at least as well off with him as with someone her own age. The age difference is much less of a problem than the way the relationship is managed.

Huh ? She was 15, he was 29 when they “met”, you don’t have a problem with that ?

 

[ancient_mariner]

Huh ? She was 15, he was 29 when they “met”, you don’t have a problem with that ?

Which country did they meet in, and how do the laws and also social mores and customs of that country view such a meeting? What kind of "meeting" was it & have you just made some assumptions without supporting data?

 

[imattersuk]

Which country did they meet in, and how do the laws and also social mores and customs of that country view such a meeting? What kind of "meeting" was it & have you just made some assumptions without supporting data?

You’re clearly ignorant on these matters. As someone who is trained in safeguarding children over many decades I’m not going to debate with someone who knows zero about the subject. A child is a child, not a woman or a man, a child, their mental maturity has no correlation with their physical appearance. You really don’t want to go there with me.

 

[ancient_mariner]

You’re clearly ignorant on these matters. As someone who is trained in safeguarding children over many decades I’m not going to debate with someone who knows zero about the subject. A child is a child, not a woman or a man, a child, their mental maturity has no correlation with their physical appearance. You really don’t want to go there with me.

You plainly think there is evidence of abuse. Please present it.

Just starting a relationship with that age difference might automatically be considered abuse in UK culture but could be viewed very differently elsewhere. You are correct that I don't have decades of experience safeguarding, and i'm not required to wear the same legal blinkers that you are.

 

[DemiLion]

You’re clearly ignorant on these matters. As someone who is trained in safeguarding children over many decades I’m not going to debate with someone who knows zero about the subject. A child is a child, not a woman or a man, a child, their mental maturity has no correlation with their physical appearance. You really don’t want to go there with me.

I'm still interested to hear your opinion about our late Queen. Who met her late husband in very similar circumstances?

 

[ancient_mariner]

For balance, I would like to say that such a large age gap is not ideal, but does not automatically make the older male an abuser in practice, even if he would have to be seen as such by those with responsibility for safeguarding.

 

[AndrewFlannigan]

For balance, I would like to say that such a large age gap is not ideal,

Really?

I married my wife, who is ten years older than me, when I was nineteen and fifty three years later we're still together. We know other couples with equally large gaps (in both directions) whose marriages have been equally long lived.

 

[ancient_mariner]

Really?

I married my wife, who is ten years older than me, when I was nineteen and fifty three years later we're still together. We know other couples with equally large gaps (in both directions) whose marriages have been equally long lived.

Note that I did not say it was wrong, only not ideal. When one side of a partnership is much older then it can place much more power in their hands, especially though not only, if it is the male side. It doesn't *have* to be a problem, but it can be.

Please also read this in the context of my earlier comments.

 

[f/2.8]

Lauding a *****[deleted by staff] have seen it all on here now.

 

[AndrewFlannigan]

It doesn't *have* to be a problem, but it can be.

Anything can be a problem in a relationship. There are many things that can disrupt a relationship more surely than age difference.

I can think of a thirteen year old girl and an eighteen year old boy that met, got married eight years later and remained so for 74 years.

A good example that each relationship is unique and its stability depends on many factors, both internally and externally, the majority of which will seldom, if ever, be observed by outsiders.

 

[ancient_mariner]

Anything can be a problem in a relationship. There are many things that can disrupt a relationship more surely than age difference.

I would have said that as long as both parties are faithful, determined to work together and genuinely seek the best for each other then a marriage is highly likely to succeed and endure. If one party steps outside that temporarily just once it can still recover but repeat offending will likely end things. It should be hard to break a marriage, not easy.

 

[DemiLion]

I married my wife, who is ten years older than me, when I was nineteen and fifty three years later we're still together.

I would never, ever have envisaged you as a 'toy boy'!

 

[jamesev]

I'm still interested to hear your opinion about our late Queen. Who met her late husband in very similar circumstances?

Its interesting that we always hear of the malevolent scenarios of age gaps and very rarely hear of the scenarios that end up in successful long term relationships. I guess the later is not sensational enough or doesn't trigger the public angst as the former does

 

[ancient_mariner]

Its interesting that we always hear of the malevolent scenarios of age gaps and very rarely hear of the scenarios that end up in successful long term relationships. I guess the later is not sensational enough or doesn't trigger the public angst as the former does

There's no story where it works out. My mother was 7 years older than my father, and they were always good together.

 

[woof woof]

Which country did they meet in, and how do the laws and also social mores and customs of that country view such a meeting? What kind of "meeting" was it & have you just made some assumptions without supporting data?

Yup. We surely can't judge this relationship in isolation without considering the culture and customs which may have been in play.

A few years back I had a Kazak GF. I met her in Darlington Her mother was kidnaped and held hostage by her father until she agreed to marry him. Of course this was all arranged and the time and place of the "kidnapping" was all agreed beforehand and everyone was in on it but from the outside looking in from our liberal vaguely Christian UK and not knowing the customs of her tribe it could all have looked a bit suspect, if we'd witnessed it

 

[John_L]

You’re clearly ignorant on these matters. As someone who is trained in safeguarding children over many decades I’m not going to debate with someone who knows zero about the subject. A child is a child, not a woman or a man, a child, their mental maturity has no correlation with their physical appearance. You really don’t want to go there with me.

Well, I have not been trained for years in safeguarding, but I was brought up to recognise that there are usually (at least) two sides to any discussion and that a reasonable person is expected to at least try and recognise that.

Different countries/cultures/religions have different views on how life should be conducted and it takes a staggering level of arrogance to assume that you are the sole arbiter of what is acceptable. There are no absolutes in behaviour, just a long continuum of variations.

It is perhaps worth noting that in the UK it is only since May 10th 1929 that the minimum age for marriage was raised to 16 for both parties. Prior to that it was 12 for a female and 14 for a male.

I am no great fan of religion, but the Bible does give one or two good bits of advice, amongst which is "Judge not, lest ye be judged".

I have been struggling to remember the word that describes arrogant intolerance of other ideas/cultures/races/religions/mores, but it has come to me now - "Bigotry".

 

[ancient_mariner]

Well, I have not been trained for years in safeguarding

To be fair, safeguarding cannot recognise 2 sides, and by its very nature cannot accept that an alternative view may also be correct, or at least acceptable. Just as statutory rape cannot recognise consent, but only that an act has been committed which falls outside the pre-determined limits of acceptance. It's not exactly bigotry so much as regulation against a specific set of standards.