Wedding shoot with a twist

biggreyhorse

biggreyhorse

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paul
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Shot a wedding last week, and bride and groom love the pictures.

I have had the brides mother call me up to order some large A3 prints and a couple of A2 shots. Lovely I thought until she has now asked if I can touch the photos up and make her daughter look as size 10 rather than the 16 she is.

No I can and have donne some PS work on pics for mags but never in this way before, should I do it ??????? My wife has said NO WAY :nono::nono:
 
Toughy, at first I thought "ask the bride" then I realised that would envoke family chaos :p.

I personally wouldn't do it for 2 reasons, ethically and economically. Wedding editing I would describe as touch ups and special effects, not a full blown edit that could potentially take hours.
 
I find that totally bizarre. :nono::wacky:

She should be proud of her daughter. You should ask if its a surprise - if its not I'd phone up the bride and ask her if this is what she wants. (maybe)
 
How sad.. what's the point of a photo if it doesn't reflect the true scene, or in this case person!
 
:eek: What a horrible thing for the Mother to ask.... Personally I would stay right out of it, politely say no to the Mother and say nothing to the Bride.
 
squizza said:
I find that totally bizarre. :nono::wacky:

She should be proud of her daughter. You should ask if its a surprise - if its not I'd phone up the bride and ask her if this is what she wants. (maybe)
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Bride and Groom are away on the Honeymoon, its such a strange twist, Even when I tode the Mother that I charge £100-£200 for image processing it didnt put her off !!!!!
 
That's awful!

You have to consider how this is going to make the bride feel. If she's a 16, you know what? She knows she's a 16! There are ways (as I'm sure you know) to flatter a fuller figure but photoshopping the heck out of it is not one of them and is unlikely to make the bride feel any better knowing her own mother finds her defective!

I've done the odd nip and tuck on the bottom edge of an arm if a bride has her arms up etc but I'm afraid I would not be willing to do that.

Your wife has good judgement :)

It's one of my pet hates I'm afraid, mags that carve inches off their already skinny models and next time you are out shopping have a look at the waist measurements of the mannequins they use in the ladies clothing sections. Most 10 year olds have a waist bigger than that! It's totally unrealistic and causes so much expectation for girls growing up it's really unhealthy.

Sorry, I'll get back in my box now, rant over :)
 
Unless there is a bloody good reason for it, I would be totally disgusted with such a request!
 
How sad:( These are her wedding pics not a submission for a lads mag, her mother should be ashamed IMHO.
 
Her mother probably knows how her daughter will feel when she sees the photos and is probably doing it out of good intentions, either that or her daughter has dropped hints. I was overweight in my teens and didnt ever have my photos taken, I also ripped up any that my parents managed to snap!

But i agree with Ali, do a a subtle nip and soften her skin to make her look her best but the girl will know herself if you have edited it and she wont be able to enjoy them when she is older.

Vicky.
 
What a very odd thing the mother has asked you to do!

My initial instinct is to say don`t do it, it is rude and could be very hurtful to the bride.As Ali says, she knows she is a 16 without being "doctored" to a ten.I can think of no reason for anyone to ask for this to be done.

However,money is money and it is your call at the end of the day.
 
You'd assume that her mum is doing this for the best intentions, however you'd think the potential for backfiring is huge.

Could you say you're not going to edit any photos without the bride and grooms permission once they get back from holiday?

There may be some reason we are not aware of this might be a good reason but I think you'd at least want to check with the the groom and he may hve a good idea of the dynamic as such of the relationship and whether his wife would like this.
 
A polite "no" is in order I think.
 
no, tell the mother to get her daughter to diet then you'll reshoot her.


biggreyhorse said:
Shot a wedding last week, and bride and groom love the pictures.

I have had the brides mother call me up to order some large A3 prints and a couple of A2 shots. Lovely I thought until she has now asked if I can touch the photos up and make her daughter look as size 10 rather than the 16 she is.

No I can and have donne some PS work on pics for mags but never in this way before, should I do it ??????? My wife has said NO WAY :nono::nono:
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I had one a few weeks back where the subject wanted to be slimmed down a bit, just a tweek on hers arms, hips, but turning a size 16 to a 10 is going too far. I suspect the bride would be offended.
 
Who is your client? The mother or the Bride?

If it is the bride, easy. Say that as the bride is your client you will not do any further editing without her permission.

Sure, a little work to make a photo more flattering is OK but totally reshaping the bride is just wrong in my opinion. Not just thinking about the bride here - the groom married her because he loves her (hopefully) exactly as she is. How would he feel about a photo having 3 sizes cleaved off it?

I think the mother is very misguided.
 
Personally if i was the bride i would be embarrassed that my mother can not except me for what i am. Thats from a blokes perspective.
I would prefer a size 16-18 over a 10-12 any day..
 
Get the money for the A3 and A2 prints. And then tell her no to the re-touching. Even if she is the client I wouldn't do it without the bride's consent
 
Oooooh, women and their weight, and a wedding all in the same scenario, get out quickly or there's going to be blood, that much I can assure you!!!!

Seriously though, while I see no reason for hiding an unsightly bump here and there, this is just insulting and asking for trouble. I'm male, so sizes mean literally nothing to me, but 16 to a 10 sounds like a fairly big difference!!!

From an economic point of view, when the bride sees the shots and wonders why it doesn't look anything like her, is the mother going to say 'I thought I'd get the photographer to make you look thinner' or will the mother say it was just what you gave her? If it's the latter, any flak might come directly to you, and the bride might tell all her friends that you thought she was too fat etc etc, and before you know it your reputation is ruined.

If you've already priced it and said yes, I'd suggest you get in touch with the mother and explain that what she wants does not fall into your skills range, and while you would be happy to do the regular touch-ups, what she's asking is too much.

Tread carefully, very carefully!

Chris
 
biggreyhorse said:
Big problem is the mother is paying for it all !!!!!!!
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Not really a big problem IMO.

I expect you can easily say regardless of who pays, the bride and groom are your real clients.

The more I think about this the more I think you need to tell her no. Sure, take a few to make photos look as flattering as they can but really, don't change her shape completely.
 
Think of the groom a bit after all maybe he particularly likes her as she is and would hate to have married a size ten.
Anyway be carefull of a client like that she could possibily refuse the pics saying it doesn't look like her daughter and you would have done all that work for nothing.
 
My rules are: colour balance, cropping and exposure yes, everything else no.
 
Rocket said:
Personally if i was the bride i would be embarrassed that my mother can not except me for what i am. Thats from a blokes perspective.
I would prefer a size 16-18 over a 10-12 any day..
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If only woman would believe this it would stop all the skinny models
 
Recipe for total disaster imo.

I think you have to say tactfully to the mother that as it was the B&G's big day and they havn't asked for the shots to be manipulated in this way that you are not comfortable doing that much work on the bride without her say so. That it goes beyond normal re-touching and will probably end up looking unatural... I would probably throw in that in your opinion she looks beautiful as she is and you imagine that the groom agrees!

As a female I would be mortified if my mother did something like this. Absolutely mortified :crying:
 
I`m still flabbergasted as to why the mother would ask for such a thing........:shrug:
 
I think that 16-10 is a bit excessive.
If the poses that she has chosen for these two shots are particularly unflattering, then perhaps stretch and shrink a little, but not too much.
On one (amateur) shot I have taken, I did remove some shoulder blades sticking out of a back, flatten a stomach a little, move a hand, and increase a shadow a little, this was to the bridesmaids in the shot who had not been posed quite so well as the bride. The modifications I made, went completely un-noticed when shown, even when compared to the real photo (which was assumed to have been taken just shortly before).

Anything you do should be subtle enough so that no-one knows it was done, this modification doesn't sound like it is quite the case. If it is being done without the brides knoweledge, it might cause some great hurt should she twig that it was done.
 
I'd have thought the mother would have seen her daughter in her dress well before the wedding and would have said something to her daughter then if she thought her daughter looked 'fat' which I'm sure she doesn't. If it's that important, they or the mother should have discussed the possibility of this before the day.

I don't agree with it. Everyone will know the photos have been 'doctored' it's a bit like having your photo taken with your glasses on then asking the photographer to remove the glasses in photoshop.

If it was my mother, she'd be in big trouble. :nono:

Lisa
 
Although I can see the morals of everyone here, at the end of the day as a photographer, we need to be in the market to make money. Yes I would be horrified too BUT my morals are put to one side when dealing with clients. There are many things I don' agree with but that does not stop me from doing my best to provide a service for my clients. If the daughter is offended, it's the Mother who asked for it.

That said, I would ONLY take this work on from the CLIENT that paid me. If that was the mother then I would be happy to do the work (if I was capable). If not then she would need the consent of the client.
 
Think of it this way, you've taken some nice photos that the B&G are going to love, the will show the photos around their friends and you may get more business.

You do these images, the bride is going to think she looked a mess on her wedding day, feel miserable about it and then complain to friends. The other option is that the mother shows them round, everyone who sees them thinks "That looks nothing like her" and you could lose more money.

Personally, I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't want to risk ruining the brides day and losing potential customers.
 
Its beyond belief! I realise it puts you between a rock and a hard place but mums 'request' is completely unacceptable! I would politely inform mum that it is unprofessional and unethical to alter photos in such a drastic way without the consent of bride and groom. Such a drastic alteration would be noticed by others on the photo list and would be insulting to her daughter. If she refuses to pay send the bill and let mum explain why.
I find the pressure that women are put under to be the perfect 10 quite bizarre, the majority of men prefer [as in the word of the Beautiful South song] different sizes!
Good luck mate, its a tricky one.

Duncan
 
Some interesting answers. We do not know if the bride has asked the mother to call. Commercial portrait and wedding photography is all about making the subject look better.

Before we stick the axe into the mother too much I am sure she was just getting her message over.....................the bride wants to look a little thinner. Now if every women (and a lot of men too) don't want that then why are the mag shelves heaving with slimming magazines?


stew
 
Just drop her size from a 16 to a 14, the mother is so vain she will think its a miracle.

All women should be size 10 then there would be no arguing.
 
Initial reaction is as everyone else, something verging on disgust, but I think you should just say you are not prepared to make such changes without the brides express permission.

FWIW, I have done a few shoots for wannabe singers, the shots will be used as part of the promotion package the production studios take to record labels and have had to do that kind of work on them. The subject has been fully aware that it will be done and it's pretty subtle. Its pretty much impossible to go from a 16 to a 10 anyway, at best you will get her to a 14 before its starts to look very unnatural imo.
 
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