Light painting the mine is a nice idea. I'd probably remove the two trails in the bottom left corner as they stand out like a sore thumb and catch the eye.
Dare I say the stars look like they are out of focus (focus being on the mine) which is why they look so intense - they're just a bit wide for star trails.
Great effort though, like the composition a lot (not sure I'd want light painting though).
I like it a lot, especially the way it looks like a tunnel to me heading back to a centre point. I no nothing about how star trails should look but as a photograph it works for me.
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