Recent content by kennethwfd

  1. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    You mean Mr Brynner didn't pull the chain?
  2. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard To get her poor doggie a bone When she bent over, Her Rover took over And she got a bone of her own.
  3. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    Mary had a little lamb She ate it with mint sauce So everywhere that Mary went The lamb was there of course Mary had a little bear To whom she was very kind So everywhere that Mary went You saw her bear behind Mary had a little blouse 'Twas busted all to bits so everywhere that Mary went You...
  4. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    Likewise, a nurse fed up from having her milk stolen in the days when it came in glass bottles and was left on the doorstep, injected a solution of Epsom salts into a bottle and left it outside
  5. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    Old lady travelling on the racing special. "I know you are upset, but it was very kind of you to put your shirt on the back of that poor bleeding horse that got scratched"
  6. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    A minister was invited to give a talk to the youth of the church regarding Sex and Christianity. Knowing his wife to be a bit prudish, when she asked him the subject of his talk, he replied "Oh....sailing" The next day she met another of the church ladies who was full of praise"Your husband is...
  7. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    Then there's the Italian who comes to a British hotel. He is given the keys to his room and finds the bedding incomplete. So he calls the receptionist. "I want two sheet" "Use the toilet" "No, I want two sheet on my bed" "You sir, are one dirty SOB" He comes to the restaraunt and takes his...
  8. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    Reminds me of the squelch delivered by Winston Churchill "Tell him I'm seated on my own privy and can only deal with one s---t at a time"
  9. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    A change from many a sign at a US filling station which offers food and fishing tackle "Eat here and Get gas and worms"
  10. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    A lawyer sees a man eating grass and asks why "I'm so poor, this is all I can afford" "Well, come round to my house" "I happen to be married" "Bring her as well" "And four children" "The more the merrier" The man replies "I don't know how to begin to thank you" "That's fine", says the lawyer...
  11. kennethwfd

    The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

    Reminds me of the 80's when the sex scandal broke Parliament is like IKEA furniture One dodgy screw and the entire cabinet falls apart
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