Did I do something wrong? Weddings that don't go to plan

Rictus

Rictus

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Rich
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I wanted to post an experience from my most recent wedding. I had the right kit with me, the experience of four previous weddings all of which had been successful and the pictures well-received. I took a friend with me for his first experience on a wedding shoot and he did a great job of keeping an eye on the action that I couldn't spot while doing the 'main' shoot. All in all, a good day, all important moments covered, results sharp.

But...

In near-on every shot of the bride and groom, they didn't smile! They looked utterly miserable! They had asked for a non-intrusive approach, journalistic which is how I prefer to work. They didn't want to be directed or positioned in the slightest. Fine thinks me...

So, rather than assuming it's just them, does anyone have any advice? Something I could have done? Their kids were smiley and awesome for us, as were most of the guests. I feel that even if I'd tried to get them smiling I'd have broken their request not to direct them... By then end of the day's shoot I felt quite disappointed and, well not ready to give up wedding shoots but you know what I mean...
 
and having started a thread about my first problem wedding, thought it might make a good thread for people to post similar problems and get some help :)
 
Some people don't always want photographs of themselves smiling- I know I prefer photos of myself when I'm not smiling- though I am a very 'smiley' person...hard one.

How did they receive the photos?
 
They haven't been delivered yet ;) I've done the initial sorting, doing the cropping and touchup work at present. Interesting thought about not wanting to be smiley in photos, the other weddings I've shot have been such bubbly occasions!
 
Without knowing all the circumstances it's hard to say for sure.
It could be they had a row before the wedding, it's not as uncommon as you might think (stress, stag nights etc) or it might have been that they felt uncomfortable about being photographed, some people just don't like having their picture taken.
Did you meet them a few times before the wedding and were they expecting your second tog? Maybe they just didn't feel at ease with you or something.
 
Ya I had a lengthy meet with them before the wedding, showed them examples of my work and they knew I'd be bringing a second and were happy. When we finished the day they both thanked me warmly and were grateful of our hard work... As I say on my website " I don't like to deliver anything less than my very best, I wouldn't sleep well at night if I didn't" - maybe I just wasn't expecting that to be out of my hands on this occasion... Whenever I spoke to them on the day they were friendly, never cold so I guess it was other factors...
 
You may find that you're pleasantly surprised and they're really happy with the shots
 
Rictus said:
Ya I had a lengthy meet with them before the wedding, showed them examples of my work and they knew I'd be bringing a second and were happy. When we finished the day they both thanked me warmly and were grateful of our hard work... As I say on my website " I don't like to deliver anything less than my very best, I wouldn't sleep well at night if I didn't" - maybe I just wasn't expecting that to be out of my hands on this occasion... Whenever I spoke to them on the day they were friendly, never cold so I guess it was other factors...
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We had one last summer, the B+G were locked in a room for an hour before the wedding arguing like hell, obviouslly something had happened the night before, it looked like it was all off for a while, eventually they came out and went on with the wedding but were very cold to each other all day.
 
Wow I'm glad to say I haven't had that yet... So, does anyone else have any difficult moments to share, and how they got through them?
 
I had one last year where the groom keep on disappearing turned out he was more interested in standing by the bar with his mates than standing by the side of his new bride."Not my problem" you can't force somebody to have his or her picture taken if they don't want it. Luckily I had taken a few shots of them together but IMO not enough. They were happy with what they had.
 
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Rictus said:
They had asked for a non-intrusive approach, journalistic which is how I prefer to work..
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Isn't that the easy way of doing weddings? shouldnt you take at least one setup shot of the B&G together.

it might come accross harsh but the question is serious.
 
KIPAX said:
Isn't that the easy way of doing weddings? shouldnt you take at least one setup shot of the B&G together.

it might come accross harsh but the question is serious.
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I'm forced to agree. Just because they might want a 'journalistic look' to the images that doesn't mean you don't still have to direct them a little bit. Put them in the situations and locations that suit you then maybe shoot without further direction.
But always, always do the 'usual suspects' shots as well, just for the sake of insurance. The couple might not want them but there will be plenty of the guests that might do and that's more money for you at the end of the day.
 
KIPAX said:
Isn't that the easy way of doing weddings? shouldnt you take at least one setup shot of the B&G together.

it might come accross harsh but the question is serious.
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It is the general fashion of the moment Tony. However, I always mention to the B&G that elder relatives still like formals and that doing some formals would be for the best.
 
I did a small number of pre-decided group shots but they didn't want too many.
 
Rictus said:
I did a small number of pre-decided group shots but they didn't want too many.
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Now am confused... was the B&G in these? if they where and didnt smile then thats a different kettle of fish as they say...
 
Also this is based on their mood on the day- they can't be disappointed with the shots as they haven't seen them yet! There are some very satisfying shots, so it's not dead loss, just strange after four upbeat and joyous wedding shoots!
 
KIPAX said:
Now am confused... was the B&G in these? if they where and didnt smile then thats a different kettle of fish as they say...
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Yes they were in these shots, but it didnt matter whether it was a setup shot or spontaneous. In fact they didn't even smile when they were announced as husband and wife, everyone clapped and they just stared at each other...
 
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Was there a Father nearby with a shotgun :cautious: Maybe an arranged marriage for a passport :thinking: Maybe, it's my wife's long lost twin sister - now that would explain it :D
 
It sounds like you were shooting the wedding of 2 people that didn't really want to get married, but chances are they've been together so long they felt they had to for their kids.

They would of been happy carrying on living in sin so to speak without the cost and fuss of a wedding, not a lot you can do with them in this case, after all, you can't polish a turd :D
 
Yes I've had that too a couple of times. Although both grooms were ok the brides just couldn't smile - Too self concious and worried about what was going on around them

I tried to make light of things to get a smile but it worked for literally a split second and then dour faces again.

It was almost like they knew they had to get theit photo taken but really didn't want it.
 
I agree that there are lots who don't like their photo taken and there are people who don't smile all the time, I'm one of them. But isn't part of it that you capture the moments that they do smile and look happy? They may be just the few seconds when talking with friends or when they get a few seconds when they think no one can see them.
Isn't part of having a 2nd shooter so that someone can concentrate more on the B+G to capture these moments while the other shoots the rest? Maybe I have the wrong end of the stick but that is how I did a wedding, got all the normal stuff then kept my distance with the 70-200 capturing the B+G interacting with the guests and each other.
 
Hi Rich, I am sure they will be happy with the images but you must remember not everyone feels comfortable in front of the camera, candid shots can look as good a forced smile portrait.

Going forward perhaps you should offer an engagement portrait session which can be incorporated into the site visit. If you can get the couple to feel relaxed around you it will aid your results on the big day.

Hope they enjoy the results and remember we all gets days like these.
 
OK, back to basics here - did they know when you were about to press the shutter and get the picture?

Some people don't want to stand there with a smile on their face for 20 minutes getting cheek ache.
 
It was a very low budget wedding, the bride is a close friends daughter so I agreed to do it for a quite slim price, ergo kept extra services to a minimum. I tried both prompting them for impending shots and keeping it candid. Same result. I don't think I really did anything professionally wrong, just a bad day, but thought the title might better prompt for peoples thoughts :)
 
Ahhhh... the answer finally reveals itself... I spoke to someone I know who has known the bride for years - it seems a very dear friend died of cancer a couple of months before. They had brought the wedding forward so she could make it, but sadly she still didn't manage to hold out long enough. They were extremely disappointed that she could not be there, especially having gone to effort to make it more likely...
 
Rictus said:
Ya I had a lengthy meet with them before the wedding, showed them examples of my work and they knew I'd be bringing a second and were happy. When we finished the day they both thanked me warmly and were grateful of our hard work... As I say on my website " I don't like to deliver anything less than my very best, I wouldn't sleep well at night if I didn't" - maybe I just wasn't expecting that to be out of my hands on this occasion... Whenever I spoke to them on the day they were friendly, never cold so I guess it was other factors...
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I think if they were friendly to you when you spoke to them maybe you should have interferred and just asked them to smile... the worst they can say is no, actually we prefer not to... We look better... But who knows maybe they will like the moody look. :)
 
Rictus said:
Ahhhh... the answer finally reveals itself... I spoke to someone I know who has known the bride for years - it seems a very dear friend died of cancer a couple of months before. They had brought the wedding forward so she could make it, but sadly she still didn't manage to hold out long enough. They were extremely disappointed that she could not be there, especially having gone to effort to make it more likely...
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Ahhh just seen this... ok scratch what i put lol

Such a sad shame... :shake:
 
Thank you to all for your useful comments - it's interesting to see the suggestions you've made. Many of the things you all mentioned I did do, this is not my first wedding and I am reasonably switched on and able to change with the situation, but of course it's not always easy to get that all across in a three-sentence forum post. I did try a good number of countdowns and 'big smiles please' type comments but often they just didn't penetrate, and something about the atmosphere said making funnies wasn't really right. Now I know why :(
 
Update - delivered the photos and they were extremely happy with them. So now I'm happy :) Sad about their situation but glad I could provide some good memories of their special day...
 
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