I'm not in to the elbow to be honest and her armpit is on show, armpits are not very aesthetic even on a pretty little girl, as she undoubtedly is. The light is quite flat (that can be a problem with fill flash) looking in both b&w and colour. so the light wasn't really good enough to get what you wanted. for a bw Shot to really work you have to have contrasting light. That last tweak on the colour, the whites of her eyes look grey
Flash can't compete with natural light, i can't have more then two shots in my space that was used with flash. It's so important to have the right light to create the right mood for a portrait, on camera flash is just rarely subtle enough to create it