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seeing the vicar
- Thread starter casfan
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Hi there and congratulations!
From the "business end", he will be wanting to ensure the legality of the marriage. Such as making sure the two of you are not immediately related; neither are currently married etc etc. He will most likely need birth certificates to verify this and to check "UK" status.
Also, if one of you is divorced, he may not be able to officiate - depends which denomination as each have their own rules/regulations around this.
He will be interested to find out if you truly are making your vows before God, or just need the Church for a pretty background to your wedding pictures.
Don't worry if you already co-habit - the church has moved on about expecting "purity"; but he may want you both to attend a couple of classes to ensure you are both fully aware of what a lifetime commitment actually means.
Other things he will want to know is, will you be needing the services of the choir (more £s), perhaps the bell-ringers (more £s); the organist (guess what more £s)... do you have any favourite hymns or readings etc etc. He may talk over his "house rules", such as confetti, photo's during the service, video footage etc.
Blimey, hope I haven't put you off with that lot; but going prepared may save hassle later!
Have fun
Kx
From the "business end", he will be wanting to ensure the legality of the marriage. Such as making sure the two of you are not immediately related; neither are currently married etc etc. He will most likely need birth certificates to verify this and to check "UK" status.
Also, if one of you is divorced, he may not be able to officiate - depends which denomination as each have their own rules/regulations around this.
He will be interested to find out if you truly are making your vows before God, or just need the Church for a pretty background to your wedding pictures.
Don't worry if you already co-habit - the church has moved on about expecting "purity"; but he may want you both to attend a couple of classes to ensure you are both fully aware of what a lifetime commitment actually means.
Other things he will want to know is, will you be needing the services of the choir (more £s), perhaps the bell-ringers (more £s); the organist (guess what more £s)... do you have any favourite hymns or readings etc etc. He may talk over his "house rules", such as confetti, photo's during the service, video footage etc.
Blimey, hope I haven't put you off with that lot; but going prepared may save hassle later!
Have fun
Kx
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- Marcel
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Yup, I think it largely depends on the religion of the church in question.
Some religions (and indeed, particularly some specific churches / vicars) are insistent on not marrying divorcees. Although I think this attitude is on the decline now.
Also, if you are not regular churchgoers, the church will be happy to marry you, but some insist on a certain amount of 'classes' beforehand, and / or regular church attendances.
Some religions (and indeed, particularly some specific churches / vicars) are insistent on not marrying divorcees. Although I think this attitude is on the decline now.
Also, if you are not regular churchgoers, the church will be happy to marry you, but some insist on a certain amount of 'classes' beforehand, and / or regular church attendances.
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- Marcel
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Just say it
It won't be the first instance of this that he's come across, and it certainly won't be the last
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Hi again,
Don't get hung up on "classes". The vicar will be selling the virtures of faith in all its guises. It will cover things like
i) how to share your life with another, ie: companionship, compasion and compromise.
ii) how to prepare for children, and to bring them up according to God's holy laws - ie: baptism; confirmation, Sunday school, teaching them how to say their prayers at night......
iii) understanding that the vows are important.....making sure you appreciate what you are committing yourself to - once the novelty of the wedding day and the gooey/mushy lusty part of love has passed - that there is a core "in love" remaining.
iv) I don't know if they still cover sex education....this was the most embarrassing for me, as i had lived with my partner for 5 years before the wedding..... the priest was blunt and said it was a sin, but he also said we'd have to come up with another "surprise" for the first night / honeymoon !:embarrassed:
I can only recommend being honest with him. You can believe in God without the formal churchgoing part. Do you go "at special times" like Christmas and Easter? Have you contributed to fundraising events? Do you support the Harvest Festival etc etc. These are all examples of being part of the community and will impress said vicar.
He is also looking for quirky little things to include in his homily. the bit during the service when he talks about the two of you, your future life together etc. etc.
Have fun
(Boy :bonk: just read wot I wrote, and hopefully I haven't put you off!)
Don't get hung up on "classes". The vicar will be selling the virtures of faith in all its guises. It will cover things like
i) how to share your life with another, ie: companionship, compasion and compromise.
ii) how to prepare for children, and to bring them up according to God's holy laws - ie: baptism; confirmation, Sunday school, teaching them how to say their prayers at night......
iii) understanding that the vows are important.....making sure you appreciate what you are committing yourself to - once the novelty of the wedding day and the gooey/mushy lusty part of love has passed - that there is a core "in love" remaining.
iv) I don't know if they still cover sex education....this was the most embarrassing for me, as i had lived with my partner for 5 years before the wedding..... the priest was blunt and said it was a sin, but he also said we'd have to come up with another "surprise" for the first night / honeymoon !:embarrassed:
I can only recommend being honest with him. You can believe in God without the formal churchgoing part. Do you go "at special times" like Christmas and Easter? Have you contributed to fundraising events? Do you support the Harvest Festival etc etc. These are all examples of being part of the community and will impress said vicar.
He is also looking for quirky little things to include in his homily. the bit during the service when he talks about the two of you, your future life together etc. etc.
Have fun
(Boy :bonk: just read wot I wrote, and hopefully I haven't put you off!)
it was ok, not scary at all, didnt have any religiouse talk just filled in a form with name address, fathers name which church had to sign to say we wernt related and a sugested date.
Have to sort out the rest of it now then go back and confirm the date
Have to sort out the rest of it now then go back and confirm the date