James, I echo you're sentiments... i.e. not sure if it works, but it's different.
I like the atmosphere created by the lighting and the added focus on the eye, as a result of the lighting. Importantly, the head and eye are tack sharp, but I'm wondering whether the tail and wing, being lit should be in focus. As the background is black anyway, could you have stopped down the aperture a bit more to get the wing and tail in focus?
The head coyly tilted to one side and eye looking straight at you at your eye level all make for an excellent capture IMHO and definitely thumbs up for trying something different!
Dom