Divorce

I have a son with my first wife and one wiht my second wife........About 6 months after my second divorce my first son was visiting me and he said

"Mum (1st wife) saw Diane (2nd wife) yesterday on plungi rd"

oh yeagh?

"They where talking for ages"

oh yeagh?

Minutes pause........

"They don't like you very much do they?"

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As the yrs go by it gets even funnier :)
 
Went through it about 9 years ago. My wife had an affair. Our child was 2 years old so didn't understand what was going on. I moved out as I didn't want to upset the normality of the family home for my daughter, even though I wouldn't be there.
We remained amicable throughout and I lived by the rule "BE BETTER-NOT BITTER". I lived back with my mum for about 6 months and my wife moved her new fella in. He took over the mortgage and I got a new home.
We are all very good friends and both re-married. I'm twice as happy now as I ever was.
The divorce was easy, painless and we never used our child for emotional blackmail. I walked away with a lot less than I should have, courts will mostly side with the mother??????
However, I was lucky that I had some good savings and she left me with my military pension.
My daughter is now 13 (photos in portraits section of this forum from yesterday).
I don't see her as much as I would like as she is a typical teenager and wants to be out with her mates.
I let her make her own decisions and treat her as a young woman, but will teach her right from wrong when she cancels on me. lol.

If your daughter is 12 (?), don't be offended if she doesn't want to come and stay. If you live somewhere away from her friends and teenage lifestyle, that's nothing to do with your relationship and how she feels about you. Its a teenage thing. They need to have a fun childhood and be streetwise. My daughter is doing so well at school and in life generally and the divorce if anything, has only made her life better.
If me and her mum had have stayed together, it would have been years of misery and arguments.
And I would never be allowed to own a classic car, several very nice watches, and an annual lads holiday to Benidorm.
I love my new wife/life.
 
Raincloud said:
Think 2018 will be a rotten year.
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Don't let it be !!

I'm also divorced twice and have 3 girls

The youngest two live officially with mum BUT when I have time with them I make it QUALITY TIME and we have a ball.

There are lots of positives in this situation so please look for them and grasp them

Please trust me on this. If you read all the previous comments they seem virtually 100% positive.
 
Been so stressful people.

Never lived on my own. Looking for a place to live is a nightmare!
 
I got divorced 20 years ago after being married for 13 years, bought her a brand new car in the September to make 13 a lucky number for her. Found out on New years eve she was the local bike.

Ended it but let her stay for 3 months while she found somewhere but she didn't make any effort so had 3 months of mental torture. Finally kicked her out.

I'd raised her son as mine from 15 months old, we'd been together 15 years in all when she went. Have had nothing to do with her since she went other than paperwork. I kept the house lucky in one sense but I did buy her out. Not seen the lad I brought up as mine in nearly 20 years and don't really care to.

5 1/2 years into another relationship now, she's from a terrible marriage so we work hard to get through life hardships but she's a perfect match for me.

First thing to do is find somewhere initially where you can live, don't worry too much what it is as it's just somewhere to lay your head and get yourself together. Then look for your new Home, take your time and find your feet. You'll get through it and come out on the other side wiser.

@bx338

My Brother threw his life away to alcohol at 49, he destroyed his life and everyone around him, you've done well to hang in there but it very rarely changes, we don't live on Coronation street where it all ends happily ever after.
 
ChrisH said:
I got divorced 20 years ago after being married for 13 years, bought her a brand new car in the September to make 13 a lucky number for her. Found out on New years eve she was the local bike.

Ended it but let her stay for 3 months while she found somewhere but she didn't make any effort so had 3 months of mental torture. Finally kicked her out.

I'd raised her son as mine from 15 months old, we'd been together 15 years in all when she went. Have had nothing to do with her since she went other than paperwork. I kept the house lucky in one sense but I did buy her out. Not seen the lad I brought up as mine in nearly 20 years and don't really care to.

5 1/2 years into another relationship now, she's from a terrible marriage so we work hard to get through life hardships but she's a perfect match for me.

First thing to do is find somewhere initially where you can live, don't worry too much what it is as it's just somewhere to lay your head and get yourself together. Then look for your new Home, take your time and find your feet. You'll get through it and come out on the other side wiser.

@bx338

My Brother threw his life away to alcohol at 49, he destroyed his life and everyone around him, you've done well to hang in there but it very rarely changes, we don't live on Coronation street where it all ends happily ever after.
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Waw, you been through a lot. Hope you are ok and that life is dealing you a good hand. Take care my friend.
 
I have mate but like thousands of others you pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Then you take a deep breath and move forward. All my family are gone now, I'm 57 with slightly dodgy health but my new other half has been through worse with her ex taking the kids and moving miles away, taking so long at releasing information about his wealth that she lost that too.

You still have your Daughter, spoil her with love and hugs. You don't need to spoil her with money and trinkets. Keep calm with your ex no matter what happens.

Most of all in a years time you'll look back on this with a few regrets thats natural but you will have figured that life really does go on :D
 
ChrisH said:
I have mate but like thousands of others you pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Then you take a deep breath and move forward. All my family are gone now, I'm 57 with slightly dodgy health but my new other half has been through worse with her ex taking the kids and moving miles away, taking so long at releasing information about his wealth that she lost that too.

You still have your Daughter, spoil her with love and hugs. You don't need to spoil her with money and trinkets. Keep calm with your ex no matter what happens.

Most of all in a years time you'll look back on this with a few regrets thats natural but you will have figured that life really does go on :D
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Wise words. I am nearly 54.

Life can be a bitch
 
Quiet funny really but I was with a best description is a dolly bird for about five years between marriages ,this would be about 25 years ago ,we eventually split up and I’m now happily remarried to my second wife for the last 20 years ,the dolly bird met someone and p***ed off to the u.s.a not seen or heard anything since nor do I really want to as she ripped me off for around 50k. ... I did click a search on her name on Flickr the other week just out of curiosity and bugger me a load of rather lurid shots came up ,p***ed myself laughing there about 10 years old ones but very explicit .better off well out of it
 
2003 was my year of freedom , If you both know the marriage is going nowhere it time to get divorced
Only seen my ex once at my daughters wedding , It was a rather strange meeting , One hand shake and a single hello and that was it !!! , I was the spare one at a wedding , very uncomfortable , Unbelivable really after 28 years married and 5 years engaged

Both of us have not got involved with anyone else , Am I happy now , You bet I am :cool:
 
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LongLensPhotography said:
Horrible news. Another heart breaking testament to the "liberal" way of life.
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It’s amazing how you can filter all of the diverse stories above to fit with your retarded world view.

It’s time you went and lived in a place that better fits your values, you’d be happier there and you can leave us liberals alone to live our lives in peace.
 
Folks don't let young Daugirdas Tomas Racys get under your skins, by the looks of him on the Web he's hardly out of nappies yet but thinks life's all unicorns and roses.

Those of us that have been there know the why's and warefores of life.

Ivory towers crumble and fall and it' a hell of a long way down. Until you've been there you have no idea.

Have a look on his LinkedIn or Facebook pages, poor young lad hasn' lived yet.

Live life to be happy not miserable
 
cambsno said:
So should people live in misery for the rest of their lives instead?
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Pathetic. People should stop being spoiled, selfish and untruthful in the first place, then there will be no misery but joy, adventure and happiness.

ChrisH said:
Folks don't let young Daugirdas Tomas Racys get under your skins, by the looks of him on the Web he's hardly out of nappies yet but thinks life's all unicorns and roses.

Those of us that have been there know the why's and warefores of life.

Ivory towers crumble and fall and it' a hell of a long way down. Until you've been there you have no idea.

Have a look on his LinkedIn or Facebook pages, poor young lad hasn' lived yet.

Live life to be happy not miserable
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Sad to see some people live all their lives unaccomplished... as if patronising comments change any of that
 
LongLensPhotography said:
Pathetic. People should stop being spoiled, selfish and untruthful in the first place, then there will be no misery but joy, adventure and happiness.
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Time to start smoking a bit less wacky baccie, fella. :D
 
LongLensPhotography said:
Pathetic. People should stop being spoiled, selfish and untruthful in the first place, then there will be no misery but joy, adventure and happiness.



Sad to see some people live all their lives unaccomplished... as if patronising comments change any of that
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Hmmm

Seems you like to dig people out by attempting the holier than thou higher ground rhetoric.


If you have nothing good to say then STFU.

You are the kind of person my dog would p*** on if you were flat on the ground.
 
Lol your so funny young man, you chose to believe I'm unnacomplished even though you know nothing about me. I'm far from unacomplished.
I am a very accomplished IT engineer and have been for over 30 years. I'm highly regarded by my peers because I make an effort to be that way.

To quote you ......

" Pathetic. People should stop being spoiled, selfish and untruthful in the first place, then there will be no misery but joy, adventure and happiness. "

Seems to me your the spoilt one who regards your fellow humans as something lower than yourself. Maybe time for you to tell us a little of how accomplished you are in life.

Anyway I shall remain unnacomplished in my happy little world surrounded in deep mysery lol.
 
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ChrisH said:
Lol your so funny young man, you chose to believe I'm unnacomplished even though you know nothing about me. I'm far from unacomplished.
I am a very accomplished IT engineer and have been for over 30 years. I'm highly regarded by my peers because I make an effort to be that way.

To quote you ......

" Pathetic. People should stop being spoiled, selfish and untruthful in the first place, then there will be no misery but joy, adventure and happiness. "

Seems to me your the spoilt one who regards your fellow humans as something lower than yourself. Maybe time for you to tell us a little of how accomplished you are in life.

Anyway I shall remain unnacomplished in my happy little world surrounded in deep mysery lol.
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We’ve seen his website. We’ve seen hundreds of his posts.
We know how accomplished he is , and he’s a useless arse, with the political intelligence of an amoeba and the photographic talent of an 8 year old.
Add to that he’s a nasty specimen who treats the values of his adopted country with contempt, there really are no positives.
He’s an Aryan Anjum Choudhary, the only positive is that he’s good for entertainment in a ‘public humiliation’ sense.
 
<Rhetorical> Is everyone done with the personal attacks now?

Excellent ..
Back to the subject in hand (y)
 
well guys, there has been some interesting reading in relation to this topic, thanks for the input.

My situation is now looking good, moved in to my new home, finally found places for most my cr@p that i have hoarded for the last 30+ years.
Got a new lady in my life, 10 years younger than me ;-) she is divorced, got her own house about 5 miles away, we have so much in common and like the same things in life.
We both appreciate that we have bolt holes to go to when needed and understand that we both still need our own space at times.
Things are looking up, she has booked for us to go away for a weekend up in the dales soon for a two day b&b break, and now we are looking at renting a cottage in Ireland for a week.
So thanks again for the input from everyone :)
 
bx338 said:
well guys, there has been some interesting reading in relation to this topic, thanks for the input.

My situation is now looking good, moved in to my new home, finally found places for most my cr@p that i have hoarded for the last 30+ years.
Got a new lady in my life, 10 years younger than me ;-) she is divorced, got her own house about 5 miles away, we have so much in common and like the same things in life.
We both appreciate that we have bolt holes to go to when needed and understand that we both still need our own space at times.
Things are looking up, she has booked for us to go away for a weekend up in the dales soon for a two day b&b break, and now we are looking at renting a cottage in Ireland for a week.
So thanks again for the input from everyone :)
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Good for you! Life is for living. I wish you luck.
 
I got divorced in 2006, had been together 9 years, married for 6 of them and at the time our son was 3.....
I bought her out and still live in the same house, tough going at first but after pushing myself to climb further up the career ladder I am now quite settled and fairly comfortable.
Have had three long term relationships since, but never remarried.
Currently single again but unlike before, I am kind of liking it and learning that I don't need to have someone in my life to be happy..
 
There by the grace of god me and Mrs D now married 34 years all good
Feel for you mate. For all the advice I would hate it.
 
Been very stressful for me. Hope things do improve but at the moment it looks very bleak!
 
From all the above, the lesson to learn is that it does get better, much better, for most of us. Unfortunately, it does hurt to get there but that is rather short lived.
 
@Raincloud

it does get better, just hang in there mate. First few weeks are tough but it's not always the same looking forward. The light at the end of the tunnel is there. it can be a short or long tunnel but it continues to flicker.
 
Raincloud said:
Supposed to get better but i bet it really doesnt for many!
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It is never easy and even in a no blame situation it is a huge wrench.

That said, the moment that the marriage legally ends, didpersal of assets (irrespective of ratio), impact on children along with responsibilities etc; on day 1 you start again. I have done it twice and made myself take a pragmatic approach to going forward. Whatever the emotional turmoil is going on, however you may feel a dark cloud is hanging over you, the power to beat it is inside you. I say this because of my first experience shen it happened. It can destroy the person if it takes over you. No easy on-off switch either, for me it was work and upskilling to widen employment possibilities. Hard going, most definitely but it filled the time and I went to bed too tired to mull over what was. There id no single response or programme that fits everyone but if you have a safe warm place to live in, good food you can prepare yourself then you can move on.

It is not easy but every day you lose is a day you will never get back. The click ticks away whatever you do, so mske time count for your own benefit not for what was, might or could have been.
 
Hugh Jarse said:
It is never easy and even in a no blame situation it is a huge wrench.

That said, the moment that the marriage legally ends, didpersal of assets (irrespective of ratio), impact on children along with responsibilities etc; on day 1 you start again. I have done it twice and made myself take a pragmatic approach to going forward. Whatever the emotional turmoil is going on, however you may feel a dark cloud is hanging over you, the power to beat it is inside you. I say this because of my first experience shen it happened. It can destroy the person if it takes over you. No easy on-off switch either, for me it was work and upskilling to widen employment possibilities. Hard going, most definitely but it filled the time and I went to bed too tired to mull over what was. There id no single response or programme that fits everyone but if you have a safe warm place to live in, good food you can prepare yourself then you can move on.

It is not easy but every day you lose is a day you will never get back. The click ticks away whatever you do, so mske time count for your own benefit not for what was, might or could have been.
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Some wise words. Each persons circumstances are different but don’t dwell on the past, I did for too long after a break up and it does you no good.
 
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