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Boy oh boy, I am in a world of sh*t right now. You know the saying, "you made your bed, now lie in it"? Well I have somehow managed to build myself a bed from old and volatile dynamite, and Im being forced to go for a marathon sleep in it. There is a gun pointing at my head, forcing me to participate in an action I dont feel I can participate in, and all I am able to do, is go along for the ride. A ride on a nuclear powered rocket which is on the verge of exploding. I hope I can work my way through the fallout in my head afterwards, because just now, I have no idea how I am going to deal with this. Its just one of those situations which needs taken care of, but you wish you could postpone for an eternity rather than face up to the reality of it all.
18 minutes and counting. I feel sick, I dont want to eat, I just want to run home and shut my front door. I need to escape this feeling of impending doom, its driving me up the ****ing wall, and I am trapped in this damn office with its suffocatingly thick atmosphere. This is no good, and I can already feel this entry turning into a stupid over the top rant.
I have no idea who or what to blame for the current situation. I suspect a huge number of factors have all led me to this point, and there is no going back, regardless of how hard I wish I could. Peoples attitudes, the climate of fear in the financial sector, the politics that run through I guess a lot of small organisations, all of it has accumulated to this current situation and I am now trapped having to take part in a process I would rather be a million miles away from.
If I can say anything, anything at all, I guess it would be sorry, from the bottom of my heart. People do not realise how tough it is to sit on the opposite side of the table at times, being forced to do things which you really wish you could avoid. Being forced to participate in a process designed to humiliate and distress those on the receiving end. Being forced to take someones life, and snap it in two, before washing your hands of the situation. Just as a surgeon would wash his hands, after tearing his patient to shreds as they lay dying on his operating table.
I only have 3 minutes left, and I am now struggling to continue with this. I am going to leave this entry for the time being, and I hope tomorrows is on a cheerier note.
Today, I feel scared, nervous and anxious. I wish I could run for the exit, instead of pushing people through it.
Gary.
Its funny, I dont really frequent TP anymore, but to me, it seems that these daily photo blogs have become a tad self indulgent and more about words than pictures.
Not being one to court controversy, just as ever, saying what I see which may offend some. Sorry.
Are you setting up the text before you take the images?
Gary, hope you are enjoying your D3 - its a great camera.