The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"
 
Not as much as I did when I googled "having sex with a flag" and read the golf course story!!!
 
Tori_T said:
Big boxes are the Amazon Warehousing and Distribution Manager's new policy.
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His assistant also stipulates that there should be at least 3m of the brown paper fun stuff to chase his tail in padding in every box too.
 
A man came up to me and said "Man, your clothes look gay".
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I said "I know, they came out of the closet this morning".
 
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A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: "Come for ta bull."
 
Nod said:
But it's fun watching them in the tumble drier...
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Looking at the "likes" smileys, it's probably a good job I didn't mention how much exercise the bu99ers get during the spin cycle...
 
Nod said:
Looking at the "likes" smileys, it's probably a good job I didn't mention how much exercise the bu99ers get during the spin cycle...
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my ex wife did that by accident ,,, came out fluffy but a bit dead
 
The ex or a hamster?
 
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