Trumping co-worker

sunnyside_up

sunnyside_up

<span class="poty">POTY (Joint) 2016</span>
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Bethy
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How would YOU deal with someone who f@rts all day... and sits right across from you. Bearing in mind that I'm of the female persuasion and we generally don't find bodily noises and noxious fumes from the whoopie cake region particularly funny... so I'm not likely to jump up and high five him for an exceptionally loud one and rate it an 8/10...:puke:
 
Ask him how long he has been suffering with severe Halitosis.
 
Spray him with some very floral air freshener every time.
 
About 3 hours after a large Jaffa cake's consumption?

On a more serious note, there are some conditions that can make holding wind in dangerous. However, it's always possible to pass it quietly and to avoid foods that cause the wind to be noxious (indeed, it's possible to avoid foods that cause wind). Since the farting is causing you distress, have a quiet word with the bloke (nearly typed gentleman but that's obviously not the case!) and ask him nicely not to fart as much and if that doesn't work, see if HR can do something for you. Other than that, either live with it or slip him some heavy duty laxatives - a follow through or 2 should make him a bit cautious! (Only kidding - spiking of any sort is BAD.)
 
Nod said:
.....Other than that, either live with it or slip him some heavy duty laxatives - a follow through or 2 should make him a bit cautious! (Only kidding - spiking of any sort is BAD.)
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But extremely funny ;)
 
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Tape that under his desk and trigger it at more embarrassing moments for him
 
"Have you farted again?"

"Errrr.... no"

"Must be you breath then!"

or if they say Yes....

"I thought so... it was either that or your breath"
 
be aware that he might have a medical condition - and comments like that could lead you into trouble with managers/HR

my advice would be just to ignore it unless its really intolerable
 
Breathe in deep and make it go away quicker ;)

On another level, it is considered love if you are comfortable farting in front of him, could this be the start of a potent relationship :LOL:
 
Bring a box of those in and then light one up every time he drops one.

pipes-cigars-tobacco_2229_291936614.jpg
 
big soft moose said:
be aware that he might have a medical condition - and comments like that could lead you into trouble with managers/HR

my advice would be just to ignore it unless its really intolerable
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Nope, he doesn't. He also belches. Real charmer.
 
Nod said:
Other than that, either live with it or slip him some heavy duty laxatives - a follow through or 2 should make him a bit cautious! (Only kidding - spiking of any sort is BAD.)
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Lol!! That is funny! Not do-able, but very funny nonetheless!!
 
Ian D J said:
Bring a box of those in and then light one up every time he drops one.
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Could do... However likely to set the fire alarm off lol
 
I know it all sounds funny and the like, but I work in an office with 5 other men, mr crapbutt included. There's a thing such as office etiquette... And we've all sat and watched him lift his butt cheek off the seat and squeak a crafty one... And it's just downright rude. I know that men view this sort of thing differently...but in all seriousness, why should I have to put up with his ignorance?
 
sunnyside_up said:
I know it all sounds funny and the like, but I work in an office with 5 other men, mr crapbutt included. There's a thing such as office etiquette... And we've all sat and watched him lift his butt cheek off the seat and squeak a crafty one... And it's just downright rude. I know that men view this sort of thing differently...but in all seriousness, why should I have to put up with his ignorance?
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You shouldn't have to. Try a quiet word in his ear that you find it unpleasant and would appreciate if he could try and be a little more considerate of those sharing the same office space. If that fails then speak to someone more senior and see how they feel about the problem.
 
Ian D J said:
Bring a box of those in and then light one up every time he drops one.
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:LOL:

You used to be able to get "amusing" plastic toy/machines in BHS around xmas time that when you press the button, shout in a robotic voice "Fart detected! Fart detected!" with alarm sounds too I think.

Get one of those and trigger it at relevant times.
 
I enjoy farting. Its an amusing sound, the smell is an unfortunate side effect. Is it the smell that bothers you most or the general act of the fart and it's sound?

If you can get past the smell I'd advise you try and see the amusing side of trumping.
 
A guy walks into the doctor and say "Oh doctor *fart*, I've got the *parp!* most terrible *toot!* wind. I can't *honk" seem to stop farting. Help me please!" . . . *squeak*.

The doctor reaches out to a seven-foot long pole with a hook on the end.

The guy shouts out "No! *Pffffffffff!* you aren't gonna stick *TOOT!* that up my *fart* back side!!*.

Doctor says "Oh no, I'm not going do to anything of the sort, I'm going to open a top window because the smell is so bad in here".
 
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Ian, that has got to be the lamest joke I ever heard. :LOL::LOL:


Did you make that up?
 
joescrivens said:
Ian, that has got to be the lamest joke I ever heard. :LOL::LOL:


Did you make that up?
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:D I remember coming across it when I was a teenager - that was 30 years ago! :eek: :shake: :D

Now, suddenly I feel like an old fart myself.
 
sunnyside_up said:
I know it all sounds funny and the like, but I work in an office with 5 other men, mr crapbutt included. There's a thing such as office etiquette... And we've all sat and watched him lift his butt cheek off the seat and squeak a crafty one... And it's just downright rude. I know that men view this sort of thing differently...but in all seriousness, why should I have to put up with his ignorance?
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if its a serious issue complain to his manager - if its not a serious issue ignore it
 
joescrivens said:
I enjoy farting. Its an amusing sound, the smell is an unfortunate side effect. Is it the smell that bothers you most or the general act of the fart and it's sound?

If you can get past the smell I'd advise you try and see the amusing side of trumping.
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You obviously don't work in a professional office surrounding...it's not amusing.
 
sunnyside_up said:
You obviously don't work in a professional office surrounding...it's not amusing.
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I dont at the moment, but I have done in the past.

Does the guy make a point of what he is doing? like draw attention by laughing and giggling etc? or is it purely the sound thats causing you distress?
 
Can't see any course of action here other than to follow him into the toilet - or anywhere you're alone - and furiously stab him with some kind of prison-inspired shank. Then at the funeral, drop subtle hints that it was you who did the shanking, so as to ensure everyone is clear on what will happen to them if they do anything similar to the shankee.
 
This is interesting...only the other day we were talking about this as somebody on my watch is a top trumper and can even play tunes and IMO it is something that always makes you laugh but I guess it's the mentality of the environment I work in :)
 
I've noticed that you're all blokes... And not really seeing the issue here... I'm all for a laugh, and my god, I have to laugh when my husband wakes the house every morning with his anal eruptions. But in an office environment, an open plan, why should anyone have to put up with someone who cant be bothered to walk the 30ft to the toilet and do what he needs to do and leave it there! It's rude, it's ignorant, and it's disrespectful towards the others in the office.

I don't really expect now for anyone to really see my point as long as this thread remains testosterone weighted. So... 'Nuff said.
 
sunnyside_up said:
why should anyone have to put up with someone who cant be bothered to walk the 30ft to the toilet and do what he needs to do and leave it there! It's rude, it's ignorant, and it's disrespectful towards the others in the office.
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toilets are for urinating and bowel movements. If all you need is to pass wind why should anyone have to walk to the toilet to do it - plus it would cut down on his productivity. If he trumps as often as you say then he'd be walking back and forth all day.

farting is a natural thing I think you need to learn to tolerate it more
 
joescrivens said:
toilets are for urinating and bowel movements. If all you need is to pass wind why should anyone have to walk to the toilet to do it - plus it would cut down on his productivity. If he trumps as often as you say then he'd be walking back and forth all day.

farting is a natural thing I think you need to learn to tolerate it more
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Time and a place... The office isn't it. Lets agree to disagree.
 
sunnyside_up said:
I've noticed that you're all blokes... And not really seeing the issue here... I'm all for a laugh, and my god, I have to laugh when my husband wakes the house every morning with his anal eruptions. But in an office environment, an open plan, why should anyone have to put up with someone who cant be bothered to walk the 30ft to the toilet and do what he needs to do and leave it there! It's rude, it's ignorant, and it's disrespectful towards the others in the office.

I don't really expect now for anyone to really see my point as long as this thread remains testosterone weighted. So... 'Nuff said.
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Bethy - I personally don't think it is funny. It wouldn't be tolerated in most offices! It is disrespectful.

I sat next to a guy in an office once, and he stank of stale cigarette smoke - REALLY smelly. Made me feel sick. I was in a similar situation to you - not knowing what to do. Luckily I left that contract for another (for other reasons).

I feel for you.

Dav
 
sunnyside_up said:
But in an office environment, an open plan, why should anyone have to put up with someone who cant be bothered to walk the 30ft to the toilet and do what he needs to do and leave it there! It's rude, it's ignorant, and it's disrespectful towards the others in the office.

I don't really expect now for anyone to really see my point as long as this thread remains testosterone weighted. So... 'Nuff said.
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I agree with you (despite being a bloke) , what 'm saying though is that all these get backs being suggested are also unproffesional and don't belong in the office environment.

the proffesional thing to do is to politely make your disaproval plain and if he continues despite being asked not to then if its a serious issue take is up via grevance procedure - if its not serious enough to do that then just ignore him

at the end of the day everyone farts sometimes - i do more than most due to a medical issue, but if i feel one coming on I usually take it to the toilets (not least for fear of following through) or at least outside the office - I don't find it remotely funny and if i have to let one go in the office i'd apologise and open a window
 
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joescrivens said:
toilets are for urinating and bowel movements. If all you need is to pass wind why should anyone have to walk to the toilet to do it - plus it would cut down on his productivity. If he trumps as often as you say then he'd be walking back and forth all day.

farting is a natural thing I think you need to learn to tolerate it more
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Joe, it's called respect.

If this guy, or anyone else in the office needs to fart, then they should either go the bathroom, or pop outside.

And +1 to Big Soft Moose above.
 
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