A terrible week at work

[Matt-]

I think you did the right thing. We have a similar thing in my job and I would have done exactly the same thing. Maybe just try and speak to him straight away and tell him the reasons why you spoke to the people above? Re-offer your support and try to clear the air. If he has any issue with it, it’s his problem.

You can’t cover up for someone that long and risk your career on someone’s poor workmanship, regardless of who it is.

 

[woof woof]

I've put in a lot of work for friends and non friends too over the years at work and out and it sometimes comes to nothing. In the end people have to take a bit of ownership of their problems and their lives.

You've tried and all you can do is keep trying but you also need a bit of... distance, isolation, for your own wellbeing. You need to accept that maybe you can't fix this if he doesn't smell the coffee.

 

[arclight]

I have read through the posts, and it seems to me that the OP's friend is in complete denial, and this is having a very negative impact on the OP. The OP is having to do his job as manager, which in a way is in direct conflict with the behaviour of the friend, who doen't want to accept that their work is way below standard, and refuses all efforts to help and support them.
I think the OP needs to quickly assess this friendship, and ask himself if it is worth the hassle and possible detrimental effects on his own job.

Yes, and it is very hard to offer sensible advice when there is no actual indication of what is wrong with the guy that has turned him into a poorly performing worker. It does sound like substance abuse and/or mental illness. If it is something of that nature then it clearly has a firm hold. Refusal to take advice is indicative of being in denial. That being so then professional medical help is absolutely vital. As things stand it looks like he is heading for rock bottom.

 

[jpgreenwood]

I have just been made aware that his dad has terminal cancer so this has probably been a major factor. I also know he suffers from PTSD but I have only witnessed this on a couple occasions in many years.

 

[arclight]

I have just been made aware that his dad has terminal cancer so this has probably been a major factor. I also know he suffers from PTSD but I have only witnessed this on a couple occasions in many years.

Dreadful - two very major issues there. Most people slowly learn to live with bereavement and thereby eventually resume normal life. PTSD and other mental "injuries" are another matter. Who knows how that will resolve itself (or even if it will). Given the way your friend's performance at work has been deteriorating it looks likely that he was close to not turning up. The disciplinary process is really only bringing about the inevitable.