I see what you are going for but the problem with the shot is that in the middle of the day, our eye sees detail in everything (because an eye has a far larger dynamic range that a camera sensor). This means I'd expect to see detail in the foreground, especially some nice lush greens or something.
For the silhouette to work better, try taking it at sunset where the lack of detail looks more natural.
Edit: just saw your black and white version which IMO is much better
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