2 1/2 days and no replies eh Ben
Let's give it some air-time then.
It's one of those shots that needs some input from you first as it's difficult to assess blind.
What were you trying to achieve?
What difficultities did you have, both compositionally and with the execution?
What have you done, or could have done, to try and make it interesting to others.
ie, critique it yourself first.
Bob
PS....I'll be back later