First baby scan disaster!

Flightphoto

Flightphoto

Messages
1,628
Name
Dave
Edit My Images
No
We had our first scan on Wednesday, all we were expecting was a few images and watching the feed live but unfortunately the nurse panicked and said 'we have a problem' - The baby's nuchal translucency layer was over the maximum of 3mm meaning a 1 in 7 risk of downs syndrome. They booked us in the next day to visit Southampton Hospital to see an expert and the CVS as we opted for a placenta biopsy to confirm, Nuchal Translucency measured 7mm which is now putting us into the 1 in 2 chance of a genetic disorder i.e. downs, edwards etc. My wife hasn't spoken much since and we're just completely shocked that we have such risk, we will now hear within 14 days of the chromosome test whether there's extra chromosomes present. At this point we definitely will terminate if the baby has Downs etc, at the end of the day I don't think it would be fair to put a person through life with the potential problems etc, some may disagree but we all have opinions etc.

Anyone else been through this situation? It's mixed results online, some grow healthy and the layer dissipates over time while some sadly pass away due to the strain on the heart etc :(
 
I'm just going to keep everything crossed for you all, if that's ok.
Medical technology and tests are fantastic, but they're also not foolproof.
Whatever decisions you make will be right for you and don't let anyone tell you different.
 
Jesus, I'm sorry. I can imagine how hard that is. And what you, and your wife are going through. Remember both of you need support


May I give a little advice. I know how hard it is to avoid looking at info online, but if you can avoid it then do so. The hospital will give much better advice and it will be personal to you and that understands your situation.
 
That news must be really scary for you both.

I expect you are going through a whole range of emotions. For what it is worth, try to be kind, gentle and patient with each other. Follow your hearts.

Alan
 
Really sorry to hear that you're both having to go through this Dave.
14 days seems such a long time to wait for results, but I hope the outcome is positive.

I can't offer any practical advice, but as others have said you need to do what's right for you and my thoughts are with you whatever that decision is.
 
Really sorry to hear that Dave, something that no expecting parents would want to go through, your thoughts are exactly the same as what mine were when I was younger, but as mentioned it all depends on the severity of it. Fingers crossed for you guy`s.
 
As they say, hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Our first kid had cysts in his brain identified at the first scan - the nurse just went quiet and called in a doctor after what seemed like ages of scanning in silence. We were told it could be a sign of Edwards, but we would have to wait for 6 weeks until we could be rescanned to confirm.

Longest 6 weeks of our life but the second scan was clear, so there can be a positive outcome.

Chin up and best of luck.
 
Sorry to hear that you and your Wife are going through this. My Fiancee and I, were really excited about our first scan in April this year, and were devastated to learn that our baby had an abnormality in her right arm. We were referred to the Fetal Medicine Unit at UCLH where at a later scan confirmed that she had got a very rare Ulnar club hand. I remember the conversations we had at the time about termination, so I know how upsetting it can be.

For what it's worth, if you did decide to go down that route, it will have been the right decision for you both, and no one will (should) judge you on that.

Best if luck to you.
 
My thoughts and prayers are with you both, whatever you choose to do is the right one and never let anyone convince you otherwise. Hope it works out for you, fingers crossed.
 
Thanks for the responses guys :) I'm doing thr 50/50 overview at the mo that either it's to be or that the fluid layer will dissapear and thay it's just one of those late fetal anatomy miracles etc! You just never think that anything could go wrong, we're both completely healthy and there's been no genetic defects in both sides of the family. That's the only flaw with chromosomes, things just get excessive, we're currently shooting a wedding as we speak, my wife is holding up well considering the size of the biopsy cyringe she had on thursday! I would recommend that if anyone else gets into the situation, have every test done, no matter what pain is involved, mental pain will be a lot lot worse if you regret what you decided against if that makes sense!
 
I'm a very black and white person and some don't like that but I find it better than being fluffy. So, speaking as an ex nurse ( but getting back to nursing in Neo-natal soon) and being married to a Neonatal nurse, Id say you need to wait for the biopsy results first.

Easier said than done, especially for the mother.

I would also say as the father of 2 kids that took some work to get there and a couple of other unsuccessful pregnancies for varying reasons, I think you're approaching it with a good frame of mind, albeit not an easy one.

All I'd say is I'd do the same if its downs / edwards, it's a **** but also brave choice and one you have to live with, all I would say is that you have to realise that the female of the species will take it harder than you will no matter what they say :-(
 
Dave whatever decision you and the wife come to will be the correct one.

My thoughts are with you and your wife.
 
Sorry for your worrying news, and hope things turn out OK in the end


I have to agree with all theses people, do that YOU and YOUR WIFE think is best and dont worry what anyone else says.
viv1969 said:
Whatever decisions you make will be right for you and don't let anyone tell you different.
Click to expand...

SarahLee said:
but as others have said you need to do what's right for you and my thoughts are with you whatever that decision is.
Click to expand...

Nikon_Nick said:
if you did decide to go down that route, it will have been the right decision for you both, and no one will (should) judge you on that.
Click to expand...

jackthekipper said:
Dave whatever decision you and the wife come to will be the correct one.
Click to expand...
 
Its a tough time for you and your wife Dave, not a position many would like to be in.
You seem to have a level head in the thought process as no doubt your wife does too.
What ever the outcome no one else can judge you for your decision.

Fingers crossed here for you guys.
 
I very much everything turns out ok for you. Personally, i wouldnt abort because the baby has downs. It is still a little person. Your child. Your flesh and blood.

Whatever. I hope all goes ok for you.
 
That's such a hard thing to hear. Fingers crossed developments will be good in the next test, but whatever happens you need to be there for each other.
 
Insensitive post removed. This is not the time nor the place to discuss the OP's reasons for sharing.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Lynne was high risk with our second so had an amnio test - that was scary glad it wasn't me getting it done. all clear though
 
Just had the call from the Doc's, the first initial Chromosome check has come back negative for 3 Chromosomes that are only present in Downs, edwards and Patins :D

And it's a boy! We now have to wait until next week for the final results to confirm whether it is a genetic / chromosome / disease cause or whether it's just the joys of pregnancy with the Nuchal Translucency layer being a tad larger than normal. Fingers crossed ay!
 
So far so good Dave.....Keeping everything crossed (y)
 
Good news Dave. I read this last week whilst on holiday and all I'll say is we know what you're both going through - let's hope next week brings more.
 
Ouch I really feel for you

My eldest is currently pregnant with our first grandchild & we are concerned. She had to have a comb biopsy on her cervix when she was younger to remove cancerous cells. The upshot that they had to remove a large portion of her cervix meaning that she is potentially very prone to miscarriage. We are trying to keep her grounded & taking it easy whilst some of her friends are trying to get her to take up exercise etc!!! Thankfully she is listening to Mum

I really, really wish you all the best for the future

Sometimes it is good to share a problem even with cyberspace!
 
viv1969 said:
For support?

You might not count anyone on here as actual friends, but some of us do. I know I myself have received amazing support from this community, and from certain people, above and beyond.

Christ, look at the subject matter and imagine how the people involved are feeling......and all you do is whine about the content?

Couldn't bring yourself to just open the thread, read, tut out of spite, and move on? :shake:
Click to expand...

:clap::clap:
 
Can't imagine how difficult its been - bet you've had a million and one thoughts running around in your head. Glad to hear the news had improved. It's fraught enough without complications so fingers crossed and that everything goes tickety boo :)

Is it your first or do you already have kids?
 
Last edited:
This is our first Pat! Been married 2 years this weekend, 7 years together in total so it was about time we started planning etc! She (The boss) has come to the conclusion that as I'm a professional Tog that I can be the house husband (not that I don't already do the cooking, ironing etc!)
If all goes to plan then we'll hopefully have an F1 driver in the family :D
 
Missed all this, we had this with our third (unplanned) had a strong chance of Downs had all the tests which came back clear.

he's 15 now - still annoying teenage boy at times...
 
Dave, sorry to hear this, pleased things are looking up a bit. With our second daughter we had scan after scan after scan as the midwife was convinced that she she wasn't growing normally and was small etc etc. In the end when she was born she was fine and a healthy 7lb 4oz. I know its not the same as your situation and I know how worrying it is, my thoughts are with you.
 
Just a note to say my fingers are crossed for you both.

Best wishes...
 
Best of luck for the future. Hope everything turns out okay for all three of you.
 
it's a scary situation but it's not the end of the world
as your asking about others who have had similar situations i will explain ours

meet Kate



Kate was born with a chromosome duplication 10q which when she was born left her with no thumbs , no radius bone in her left arm resulting in a club hand and a shortening of one of her legs
she also has learning difficulties meaning she has been very slow at developing
she is now 3 years old and we are told she has the same abilities of a 12 month old baby
kate started walking in december last she still isn't talking and is very unstable on her feet but she is getting better
Kate has also had an operation to move one of her fingers on her right hand to act like a thumb so she can pinch and slowly but surely she is getting to use her new thumb for grip it's still very weak at the moment but in time it will strengthen
the surgeon decided to leave her club hand as is because she uses it quite well and disturbing it to try and straighten the hand at the wrist might leave her with less ability than she has already and would be purely cosmetic
it's not worth the risk

the amount of support for a child with disabilities is overwhelming to point of no peace

when my wife was pregnant with Kate we was told of her physical disabilities but there was no way of knowing how her mental abilities would develop
it didn't matter there was no way my wife would consider termination and and my decision didn't matter i wanted what my wife wanted i don't think i have the right to tell my wife to terminate a baby or not that is solely her choice

at the end of the day we have a lovely 3 year old daughter that brings a smile to everybody who meets her and to be honest i wouldn't have it any other way
Kate is Kate the rest doesn't matter

if iv'e left anything you would like to question feel free to ask
 
cosmicma said:
it's a scary situation but it's not the end of the world
as your asking about others who have had similar situations i will explain ours

meet Kate



Kate was born with a chromosome duplication 10q which when she was born left her with no thumbs , no radius bone in her left arm resulting in a club hand and a shortening of one of her legs
she also has learning difficulties meaning she has been very slow at developing
she is now 3 years old and we are told she has the same abilities of a 12 month old baby
kate started walking in december last she still isn't talking and is very unstable on her feet but she is getting better
Kate has also had an operation to move one of her fingers on her right hand to act like a thumb so she can pinch and slowly but surely she is getting to use her new thumb for grip it's still very weak at the moment but in time it will strengthen
the surgeon decided to leave her club hand as is because she uses it quite well and disturbing it to try and straighten the hand at the wrist might leave her with less ability than she has already and would be purely cosmetic
it's not worth the risk

the amount of support for a child with disabilities is overwhelming to point of no peace

when my wife was pregnant with Kate we was told of her physical disabilities but there was no way of knowing how her mental abilities would develop
it didn't matter there was no way my wife would consider termination and and my decision didn't matter i wanted what my wife wanted i don't think i have the right to tell my wife to terminate a baby or not that is solely her choice

at the end of the day we have a lovely 3 year old daughter that brings a smile to everybody who meets her and to be honest i wouldn't have it any other way
Kate is Kate the rest doesn't matter

if iv'e left anything you would like to question feel free to ask
Click to expand...

(y):plus1:

She looks adorable...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top