First night looking after my 3 week old son

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yorkshirechap

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The night has finally arrived. Wifey is utterly knackered and I'm now tasked with looking after our 3 week old all by myself for the night. Since my moobs aren't all that special, he's going to have to make do with a bottle, with no trial run. So far he's not doing much except sleeping like a boss, so I think it's going OK so far.

I'm terrified. Any other dads been through this?

How pathetic am I? haha
 
Hi

I would not count on your son being happy to change from boob to bottle at a moments notice (am I reading that right that he's being breastfed?).

Our son refused point blank to take a bottle or even a comforter/dummy after he had been breastfed from birth.

When our son needed feeding in the night I would get up and give him to my wife who would feed him while still half a sleep. Then I would change the inevitable soiled nappy and settle him back to sleep, eventually we got it down to about 40 mins, then everyone was back to sleep again.

Good luck

David
 
Willid1 said:
Hi

I would not count on your son being happy to change from boob to bottle at a moments notice (am I reading that right that he's being breastfed?).

Our son refused point blank to take a bottle or even a comforter/dummy after he had been breastfed from birth.

When our son needed feeding in the night I would get up and give him to my wife who would feed him while still half a sleep. Then I would change the inevitable soiled nappy and settle him back to sleep, eventually we got it down to about 40 mins, then everyone was back to sleep again.

Good luck

David
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Hi David,

Yes mate you read it right. Heard the thing about rejection from a few people. It's definitely not guaranteed but we have to try. Slow flow is the key thing apparently but in the end, it's up to junior.

Fingers crossed.
 
yorkshirechap said:
it's up to junior. Fingers crossed.
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I suppose it will depend on how hungry he is vs. how much he dislikes the bottle.

I was always surprised just how cussid a child so young could be when presented with something they didn't want to do :mad:

D
 
Willid1 said:
I suppose it will depend on how hungry he is vs. how much he dislikes the bottle.

I was always surprised just how cussid a child so young could be when presented with something they didn't want to do :mad:

D
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Well David, I got lucky. Tried his first ever bottle and he drank all 45ml like a pro. Then brought back up some of it, but not all.

I am over the moon! I guess we both just need to refine our technique a bit.
 
yorkshirechap said:
Well David, I got lucky. Tried his first ever bottle and he drank all 45ml like a pro. Then brought back up some of it, but not all.

I am over the moon! I guess we both just need to refine our technique a bit.
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:)

D
 
I would think that every other dad has been through this - and survived:)
And strangely, the kids survive too...
 
I became a Dad back in June. Evie arrived a little earlier than expected so spent a couple of days in Special Care.

Rachael (my wife) had had pretty much no sleep while in hospital (Monday - Thursday) so on our first night at home I wanted to do everything I could to let her sleep a bit.

Evie decided to wake up at 5am so I took her downstairs and quietened her down and doing what everyone says you shouldn't, fell asleep with her laying on my chest (naughty Daddy :LOL: )

Anyway, around 7am she woke up crying and trying out my moobs. I remembered Rachael had expressed a bottle before bed so I thought I'd see if she'd take a bottle.

Well the look I got off her was hilarious..... it was like she was saying "WTF is that!!! It smells/tastes like Mummy but you're not Mummy" and proceed to drink until it was all gone and went back to sleep.

Cue Rachael running downstairs in a panic at about 8:30 wondering where we both were :LOL:

Now it was only months after that I learnt that you're not meant to let breast fed babies have a bottle or dummy until they're 4-6 weeks old as it can cause nipple confusion....... Well, 7 months on, Evie's still breast fed, has a dummy and feeds from a bottle.

Conversely, some of the babies in our NCT group followed this advice and now won't take a bottle or a dummy.

You'll find everyone has plenty of advice, some better than others but the best advice someone gave me was to follow your instinct ;)
 
10917813_10205728419515919_5271824347844612085_n_zps2ac93560.jpg
 
Coincidentally I am going to an NCT breastfeeding class tonight! Our first is due March 6th. I shall be back for tips!
 
Russ77 said:
I became a Dad back in June. Evie arrived a little earlier than expected so spent a couple of days in Special Care.

Rachael (my wife) had had pretty much no sleep while in hospital (Monday - Thursday) so on our first night at home I wanted to do everything I could to let her sleep a bit.

Evie decided to wake up at 5am so I took her downstairs and quietened her down and doing what everyone says you shouldn't, fell asleep with her laying on my chest (naughty Daddy :LOL: )

Anyway, around 7am she woke up crying and trying out my moobs. I remembered Rachael had expressed a bottle before bed so I thought I'd see if she'd take a bottle.

Well the look I got off her was hilarious..... it was like she was saying "WTF is that!!! It smells/tastes like Mummy but you're not Mummy" and proceed to drink until it was all gone and went back to sleep.

Cue Rachael running downstairs in a panic at about 8:30 wondering where we both were :LOL:

Now it was only months after that I learnt that you're not meant to let breast fed babies have a bottle or dummy until they're 4-6 weeks old as it can cause nipple confusion....... Well, 7 months on, Evie's still breast fed, has a dummy and feeds from a bottle.

Conversely, some of the babies in our NCT group followed this advice and now won't take a bottle or a dummy.

You'll find everyone has plenty of advice, some better than others but the best advice someone gave me was to follow your instinct ;)
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Some good advice there.

The key point of this (for me at least) was the part about instinct. You will be offered so much advice, some welcome, and some not so welcome in the coming months (years), and I learnt very quickly, that what may be good for one baby is not necessarily what will be right for your little one. We did what we felt was right at the time, and our little girl is now a very healthy,happy little soul.
 
Rapscallion said:
Coincidentally I am going to an NCT breastfeeding class tonight! Our first is due March 6th. I shall be back for tips!
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My tip would be to make sure mum gets a refresher from the staff on the ward once baby has arrived.

If she gets positioning wrong, it's really painful (voice of experience talking)
 
Julie1979 said:
My tip would be to make sure mum gets a refresher from the staff on the ward once baby has arrived.

If she gets positioning wrong, it's really painful (voice of experience talking)
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I shall pass the tip on. Cheers Julie
 
Rapscallion said:
Coincidentally I am going to an NCT breastfeeding class tonight! Our first is due March 6th. I shall be back for tips!
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From our experience, I'd also consider taking their advice with an open mind. Our NCT group 'teacher' was a wonderful woman, just brilliant. The lady who took the specific breastfeeding class was positively Victorian (she tried to insist all the men left the room, and seem rather surprised when we and our partners were not happy about that). They really bang the drum about breast is best, and try to make you out as some sort of failure for considering a bottle. In our case there were complications, my wife struggled to feed our son in agony for best part of 5 weeks before changing to a combination of expressing and formula via a bottle (so I could help too, as we had the child who wouldn't sleep more than 45 minutes for the first 4 months). It's a hugely personal thing, do what's right for your child and wife.
 
Shine On said:
From our experience, I'd also consider taking their advice with an open mind. Our NCT group 'teacher' was a wonderful woman, just brilliant. The lady who took the specific breastfeeding class was positively Victorian (she tried to insist all the men left the room, and seem rather surprised when we and our partners were not happy about that). They really bang the drum about breast is best, and try to make you out as some sort of failure for considering a bottle. In our case there were complications, my wife struggled to feed our son in agony for best part of 5 weeks before changing to a combination of expressing and formula via a bottle (so I could help too, as we had the child who wouldn't sleep more than 45 minutes for the first 4 months). It's a hugely personal thing, do what's right for your child and wife.
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I have been warned that NCT teachers can have a particular mindset, but ours has been great. We also have a separate breastfeeding teacher, so I will report back later!
 
You never stop learning. I had a few hilarious conversations yesterday about boys learning to pee standing up. Turns out the age range varies from 2-5 years old.

Guess what i'm helping my 3 1/2 year old do today! Luckily his dad is off work tomorrow.
 
Rapscallion said:
I have been warned that NCT teachers can have a particular mindset, but ours has been great. We also have a separate breastfeeding teacher, so I will report back later!
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Well I have to say all stereotypes were broken. She was young and not at all the stereotypical NCT teacher. She quite happily talked about formula feeding and the equipment needed for that. Also lucky that we have a good group, and look forward to meeting up with fathers in the group for a drink at some point.

2 months to go!!

PS I have been researching car seats, and Cybex keep coming up as one of the top brands. They are German made and can be bought much more cheaply in Germany. You can get the car seats for a similar price in Euros as we pay in pounds.
 
I have to say, the people in our NCT group are great. Rachael's not what you would call a "social butterfly" as she's quite shy but I said to her this was a great opportunity to make new friends as there was a strong common interest (obviously :LOL: )

The majority of the girls get together on a regular basis and there is one woman in particular that she's become good friends with.

IMO, NCT is as much about the networking and group support as it is what you learn about pregnancy/babies. We actually missed the last class as Rachael was in labour!

We've also been on an NCT "Boys" night out and that was great for sharing experiences as it can sometimes feel a little detached being a Dad, especially if the baby's exclusively breast fed.

Not saying that I'm father of the year or an expert (far from it) but happy to chat/share experiences with any other new Dads or Dad's to be :)
 
It's real "first world problem" stuff, but that doesn't make any of us less anxious when we're in these sorts of situations with our new babies.

The one piece of advice I'd give is that they're not as delicate / fragile / helpless as us new parents fear... sure, they can't support their heads, they can't feed by themselves but they work out how to get sustainance pretty quickly (cry when hungry, suck on teat when provided, poo out contents shortly after)...

With our first we treated him with kid gloves as almost every new parent will. We panicked about nipple confusion, whether a colour or black & white mobile would be better for early stage cognitive development, whether mummy should restrict E number intake in her own diet... all that malarky. Needless to say, we relaxed a lot more with #2 as many parents do and both have turned out (so far) to be very healthy, happy kids. In my personal opinion, the tiny percentage differences (maybe less?) made by such detailed focus on the minutiae is largely irrelevant when compared with the love and care of a good parent or (ideally) two.

Babies - even young ones - pick up on stress levels and just want to be loved, unreletingly. A mummy and daddy who are healthy and happy will, IMO, be a lot better placed to deliver the requisite love and attention than tired, grumpy, stressed parents. Not that you can do that much about the latter when you have a newborn, but every bit (of sleep) helps.

Don't stress the small stuff and enjoy these early weeks/months with your new baby and as a new family. You'll be fine :)
 
My 4th will be along this year and first time around I remember worrying I was going to be doing something wrong, but by the 3rd I was doing a majority of night feeds as could watch the TV I couldnt watch when the wife was around and could have the feeding, burping and back to sleep bit done in a relatively short time.

I find as long as you dont get stressed and take it in your stride its normally smooth sailing
 
Julie1979 said:
You never stop learning. I had a few hilarious conversations yesterday about boys learning to pee standing up. Turns out the age range varies from 2-5 years old.

Guess what i'm helping my 3 1/2 year old do today! Luckily his dad is off work tomorrow.
Click to expand...

My favourite story is still from when friends were encouraging their son - "Do you want to sit on the big lavatory, like daddy?" "OK" said the kid, and picked up Autosport to take with him!! :D
 
pjm1 said:
It's real "first world problem" stuff, but that doesn't make any of us less anxious when we're in these sorts of situations with our new babies.

The one piece of advice I'd give is that they're not as delicate / fragile / helpless as us new parents fear... sure, they can't support their heads, they can't feed by themselves but they work out how to get sustainance pretty quickly (cry when hungry, suck on teat when provided, poo out contents shortly after)...

With our first we treated him with kid gloves as almost every new parent will. We panicked about nipple confusion, whether a colour or black & white mobile would be better for early stage cognitive development, whether mummy should restrict E number intake in her own diet... all that malarky. Needless to say, we relaxed a lot more with #2 as many parents do and both have turned out (so far) to be very healthy, happy kids. In my personal opinion, the tiny percentage differences (maybe less?) made by such detailed focus on the minutiae is largely irrelevant when compared with the love and care of a good parent or (ideally) two.

Babies - even young ones - pick up on stress levels and just want to be loved, unreletingly. A mummy and daddy who are healthy and happy will, IMO, be a lot better placed to deliver the requisite love and attention than tired, grumpy, stressed parents. Not that you can do that much about the latter when you have a newborn, but every bit (of sleep) helps.

Don't stress the small stuff and enjoy these early weeks/months with your new baby and as a new family. You'll be fine :)
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Absolutely agree with that Paul!

To be honest, we didn't make a stress out of a lot of things but we definitely notice a difference in Evie when Rachael's a bit uptight. For example it was her sister's wedding in October and her family (Mum & Sister) seemed to conveniently forget Rachael had a 4 month old baby and had her running here there and everywhere in the run up to it. It didn't take long for Evie's feeding & sleep to take a bit of a hit.

Happy parents does definitely seem to make for a happier baby :)
 
Had our last NCT class on Saturday. Noticed that the pamphlets handed out on cot death were from an organisation called ISIS Online ! How many meetings have they had recently about their name I wonder!
 
Rapscallion said:
Had our last NCT class on Saturday. Noticed that the pamphlets handed out on cot death were from an organisation called ISIS Online ! How many meetings have they had recently about their name I wonder!
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Judging by their website....a wide berth might be the ticket :LOL:
 
I remember my son waking up in the night crying for a bottle - 6 hours down the pub and he still wanted more.:)
 
Julie1979 said:
My tip would be to make sure mum gets a refresher from the staff on the ward once baby has arrived.

If she gets positioning wrong, it's really painful (voice of experience talking)
Click to expand...

Absolutely right although she won't have much choice, they wont let mum and baby leave the hospital without seeing the baby feed properly, be it bottle or boob.
 
Rapscallion said:
Well I have to say all stereotypes were broken. She was young and not at all the stereotypical NCT teacher. She quite happily talked about formula feeding and the equipment needed for that. Also lucky that we have a good group, and look forward to meeting up with fathers in the group for a drink at some point.

2 months to go!!

PS I have been researching car seats, and Cybex keep coming up as one of the top brands. They are German made and can be bought much more cheaply in Germany. You can get the car seats for a similar price in Euros as we pay in pounds.
Click to expand...

If you want any input on stuff like that I'd be glad to help. There's too much choice. But then that goes for everything in life these days lol Wait until you get on to travel systems and so on....
 
pjm1 said:
It's real "first world problem" stuff, but that doesn't make any of us less anxious when we're in these sorts of situations with our new babies.

The one piece of advice I'd give is that they're not as delicate / fragile / helpless as us new parents fear... sure, they can't support their heads, they can't feed by themselves but they work out how to get sustainance pretty quickly (cry when hungry, suck on teat when provided, poo out contents shortly after)...

With our first we treated him with kid gloves as almost every new parent will. We panicked about nipple confusion, whether a colour or black & white mobile would be better for early stage cognitive development, whether mummy should restrict E number intake in her own diet... all that malarky. Needless to say, we relaxed a lot more with #2 as many parents do and both have turned out (so far) to be very healthy, happy kids. In my personal opinion, the tiny percentage differences (maybe less?) made by such detailed focus on the minutiae is largely irrelevant when compared with the love and care of a good parent or (ideally) two.

Babies - even young ones - pick up on stress levels and just want to be loved, unreletingly. A mummy and daddy who are healthy and happy will, IMO, be a lot better placed to deliver the requisite love and attention than tired, grumpy, stressed parents. Not that you can do that much about the latter when you have a newborn, but every bit (of sleep) helps.

Don't stress the small stuff and enjoy these early weeks/months with your new baby and as a new family. You'll be fine :)
Click to expand...
Rapscallion said:
Had our last NCT class on Saturday. Noticed that the pamphlets handed out on cot death were from an organisation called ISIS Online ! How many meetings have they had recently about their name I wonder!
Click to expand...

Regarding cot death/SIDS. There is a lot of good advice around, which is not always just common sense, so worth digging into. The modern guidelines are logical, I found. The problem is the baby itself. My son really doesn't give two hoots about guidelines and is utterly determined to sleep on his stomach. He won't settle on his back no matter what we try. He also hates his moses basket. For such tiny humans, newborns can be surprisingly stubborn! He's currently having infant gaviscon as part of an investigation to see if its a reflux issue. Personally though, I think he's just being himself.

I'd definitely go with the "try everything" method in terms of following guidelines, but if the child simply refuses to sleep on his back for example, or prefers 20C to 18C, theres not a whole lot you can do except provide an environment thats as safe as possible!

It's pretty hard on the new parent though, sort of makes you feel a failure, but its important not to get into that mindset about anything, be it breastfeeding, guidelines, boob vs. formula or any of that stuff. That's what I'm telling myself anyway. The posts on this thread do help maintain a positive state of mine too.
 
I have to say we're really lucky with Evie, she seems pretty laid back and isn't what I'd call a "cry baby". She only really cries when something's wrong...... it's just a case of working out what that is :LOL: but usually the wife's on to it pretty rapid and I'm learning too!

On thing that I find really funny is that she seems to get the hump mid afternoon if she hasn't been out of the house! It's like she goes a bit stir crazy :LOL:

But now we know that at least we can either make sure we take her out or distract her enough that she doesn't protest about it too much.

In the last couple of weeks she's began to sit up on her own, it was amazing how quickly she went from having to consciously balance herself to being able to sit up and play with her toys or eat. In fact I'm absolutely fascinated with the speed/rate at which babies learn, it really is incredible...... I definitely think we've got our work cut out for us for the next 18 years :LOL:
 
Russ77 said:
I definitely think we've got our work cut out for us for the next 18 years :LOL:
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Was that a typo? Did you mean the next 38 years? :)
 
Sorry... Tried to post a picture from my mobile but it failed
 
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