Help please what do i do ?

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Ian White

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Ian
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Ok then here we go i have been invited to a wedding,and you all know what i am going to say

my buddy has asked if i could take my camera and take a few picture during the day and night time do,but i know he is spending a lot of money on this wedding and i have herd him saying he does not know why a wedding photographer needs to be paid so much

So to be honest i think if i say yes he will dump the pro photographer and ask me to do the rest for them

I dont want too take my camera and just want to go out and have fun realy dont what to be taking pictures all day.

How would you say thanks but no thanks,i dont want to fall out over it but i think we will end up having a fall out over it

thanks for any help, Ian
 
Just say you want to enjoy the day and not have the pressure of taking photos.

Or say your camera is broken.
 
There's enough blogs on this here internet explaining the overheads of a professional photographer if he wants to know why they cost what they do.

Of course, if he thinks his fiance isn't worth getting someone in to properly document one of the most important days of her life....... ;)

Tell him you don't have the appropriate lenses, and suggest he buys you a nice set of premium fast zooms so that you can get "professional quality". And then ask if he'll be paying you an hourly rate for all the editting.

Maybe to help with financing, he could get rid of the professional caterers and just ask everyone to bring a tray of sandwiches and a box of Mr Kipling with them?

Have you ever shot a wedding before? If not, tell him this and point out that you'd be uncomfortable using his wedding for a load of trial and error in something you're completely inexperienced in.
After all, you wouldn't get someone in who's never driven a car before to act as chauffer.
 
If he is your friend then you shouldn't need to fall out over it, you should be able to be honest with each other. Just tell him you do not want to do it.
If you fall out over it then it tells you something about him that you may not have known...
 
JUST SAY NO!!!!!! (nicely)

If you are invited as a guest because your buddy wants you there, great.

If, however, you are invited to take pictures because he knows you have a great camera, not so great. More like the way to lose friends, no matter what they say about not wanting posed pics etc.

Ask his fiancee what she thinks about perhaps having no pictures of her day.

Why do people think that wedding photographers charge what they do?

.......because a good one will know exactly what the couple want and how to get it which should be priceless.

.....just my opinion!

Heather
 
Just say what's on your mind:

"I dont want too take my camera and just want to go out and have fun realy dont what to be taking pictures all day."

I would never do this to a friend and I wouldn't expect a friend to do this to me.

It's a lot more fun if you take your camera along and get snaps (like all the other wedding guests), you should not be put into a situation like that if you feel that's how it's going.

If you fall out over this then he's hardly a great friend.
 
A mixture of all the above, you haven,t the right lens that you would need,a pro puts in years of training and knows weddings and their pitfalls inside out, is his Bride not worth that extra mile for the beautiful photos a pro will get.
Finally,you want to enjoy the day as well and not cock up that magic day that the bride deserves.

If you are wimpy and take it on ,He and She will deffo fall out with you as the results will be carp compared to a pro.

PS.
I am not a pro,and did my nieces wedding donkys years ago ,as she was broke and would have had no pics at all withoout mine.
Bloody nerve wracking from start to finish.:eek:
 
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i'd just say.. 'well i'll be taking a camera and grabbing a few snaps, but i'm going to get hammered so don't rely on me' :thumbs:
 
zammo_just_say_no.gif
 
I agree with the others... be firm but say no!

Being a guest AND the official photographer is bloody hard work! :D (I did it as a present for my best friend at his wedding - never again!) ;)
 
I've done this a few times for friends. Drank
Had fun and took candid shots of the wedding. I did not replace the guy he hired and I made that point clear. It was my wedding present to them essentially.
 
If you end up as the "official" photographer, you won't really be able to have a drink, you'll be a sweaty mess if it's hot (running around organising things) you risk falling out or worse being sued by your friend if they don't like your photos (don't laugh it could happen) you could break or damage your camera gear, drinks get spilt, drunks etc etc.

And if he's already booked a pro he might not find it quite so easy to back out, he'll almost certainly loose any deposit/booking fee he's paid, and theres always a chance the pro will turn up on the day and kick off, not very professional I'll admit but "theres nowt as queer as folk" as they say.
 
It makes my blood boil this! They don't batter an eyelid when spending £400 on some cake that no one eats! Then moan about spending money on the only thing they will have left to look back on of there wedding.
 
I'm doing this but for a step-in-law to stop the FOB doing it!! which he obviously can't!
but say you'll take some snaps maybe but then get hammered to help him celebrate and don't want to take your camera out when you start drinking
during the day> for the main shots? this is not something to be taken lightly imho
 
Good Morning all

Had a word with him, and i now am not going to his wedding so maybe he was not such a good friend

But as i am a adult i will still send a telegram to wish them the best and good luck

Ho Hum never mind , Ian
 
People get overly stressed about weddings. They seem to be more about checking all the right boxes and living up to an expectation of what a wedding is (cake, cars, reception etc,.) and it is rare to see any imagination or straying from that set formula.

The day is for the husband and wife only and as long as they are happy that is all that matters. Well that is how me and my wife viewed it and we had a bloody great time wandering around Vegas drunk on Champagne :)
 
Ian White said:
Good Morning all

Had a word with him, and i now am not going to his wedding so maybe he was not such a good friend

But as i am a adult i will still send a telegram to wish them the best and good luck

Ho Hum never mind , Ian
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What reason for not going, your choice? Otherwise if it's his choice it sounds like he was using you.
 
wow that's astounding!
I'm getting married in november and have booked a pro, digital only, 1/2 day for £800
I think his quality is excellent.
However, I've got a few friends who are good photographers and even getting wedding experience as 2nd shooters, but haven't asked them (specifically her) to do anymore than come along. I know she'll bring her kit...I'd have to frisk her at the door to stop her tbh! but guests are guests.
 
swanseamale47 said:
What reason for not going, your choice? Otherwise if it's his choice it sounds like he was using you.
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He told me that i was not to go and i would not be welcome had sort of decided not to go any way , his loss not mine :(

Ian
 
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Ian White said:
He told me that i was not to go his loss not mine :(

Ian
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Anyone fancy a meet at the church on the day?

100 photographers crashing the wedding could be amusing!
 
Ian White said:
He told me that i was not to go and i would not be welcome had sort of decided not to go any way , his loss not mine :(

Ian
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Does sound like a very lucky escape and he was just using you, bit of a body blow but sounds like you are being pretty level headed about it - at least you can spend the day doing something you really want to do :thumbs:
 
This guy sounds like a right class act, invites you to his wedding in hope of a freebie and then when you say you cannot do it say's your not welcome at the wedding, I'm with Tom :lol: lets go paparazzi on his ass :lol:
 
You did the right thing, imagine now, what will be his reaction if you went and did just a few shots and he/her were not happy about them. The not going to the wedding will be a joke compared with that.
 
MWHCVT said:
This guy sounds like a right class act, invites you to his wedding in hope of a freebie and then when you say you cannot do it say's your not welcome at the wedding, I'm with Tom :lol: lets go paparazzi on his ass :lol:
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Go careful, if he gets wind of you coming he will cancel his photographer and ask you to send him your photos instead.
 
Better off without friends like that tbh, as mentioned, imagine the outcome if you had done it and the results didn't live up to his expectations.
 
ernesto said:
Go careful, if he gets wind of you coming he will cancel his photographer and ask you to send him your photos instead.
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You could then invoice him :)
 
faddius said:
You could then invoice him :)
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he wouldn't pay it unless it is around a tenner as that is all a photogrpahers worth to him.

How can photographers charge so much just to take a couple of photos, honestly :)
 
I think what I'd do is say you've seen the error of your ways, go to the wedding, photograph it, and give him the worst wedding pictures in history! Although that wouldn't look to good on you... Mmm?
 
Wouldn't it be awfully funny if his "pro" tog messes up........ I bet he'd be sorry he binned you from the wedding then.
 
I hope the pro tog does not mess up, but I do think it is awful what your so called friend has done. £800 for a shoot does sound a decent price tbh, I recall we paid just over 6k for 3 days including video, saying that he did have quite a crew with him. Now to me that did sound a little silly.

I would not worry about this guy though, I would not class him as a friend.
 
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