horse burger jokes

[realspeed]

I bought an ‘award-winning’ Tesco burger. I didn’t realise they meant it had won the Cheltenham Gold Cup.

I used to work for Tesco, but I was fired. I got an email about a delivery of horse meat and I marked it as spam.

I tried to take some burgers back to Tesco but they said they wouldn’t accept them. Looks like I’m saddled with them.

Husband: ‘I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.’
Wife: ‘Why don’t you go to Tesco?’

Personally, I think people who don’t like eating horse meat are being a bit blinkered.

Despite the recent news, Tesco says that their beef burger sales remain stable.

Are you in favour of horse meat in your burgers? Yay or Neigh?

I was going to give up fast food for January, but I fell at the final hurdle and had a Tesco burger.

Unused HMV vouchers are now being accepted at Tesco. Just tell them HMV means ‘Horse Meat Voucher’.

Despite the recent scandal, Tesco insist they use only meat of the highest quality. A spokesman said: ‘Our meat has to clear several hurdles before it goes on sale.’

I don’t know why there’s a fuss all of a sudden. There’s been horse meat in Tesco burgers for donkey’s years.

I like my burgers with a side saddle and neighonnaise.

I hope Tesco were selling those burgers at hoof price.

So there’s horse meat in Tesco’s burgers. Don’t worry, it’s not the mane ingredient.

Forget the Everyday Value burgers — I only eat those mini-burgers you have as snacks. You know, the horse d’oeuvres.

I bought some Tesco burgers — I wanted to get venison ones, but they were dead dear.

I ordered a Tesco burger the other day — but asked them to hold the dressage.

A motorist gets pulled over by a police officer, who asks him to blow into a breathalyser. The machine beeps.
‘I’m sorry Sir,’ says the officer. ‘You’re over the limit. Can you tell me what you have had tonight?’
‘Nothing Officer,’ replies the man. ‘Just a burger from Tesco.’
‘That explains it,’ says the policeman. ‘I knew I could smell Red Rum.’

I selected some burgers on the Tesco website. And then clicked ‘Add to cart.’

A woman has been taken to hospital after eating Tesco burgers. Her condition is said to be stable.

I used to work on the Tesco meat counter, but it was like flogging a dead horse.

Last night I ate a Tesco burger, an Iceland burger and an Aldi burger to find out which had the best taste.
Tesco won by a short head.

What do you call a burnt Tesco burger? Black Beauty

 

[SMT]

 

[The Greek]

So a man walks into a cafe and orders a Cheese Burger with fries.

The lady asks, would you like anything on it.

Yes says the man, I'll have £5 each way.

 

[philwillmedia]

Tesco Quarter Pounders: The affordable way to buy your daughter the pony that
she's always wanted!

Had some burgers from Tesco for my tea last night.... I still have a bit between my teeth

Unused HMV vouchers are now being accepted at Tesco. Just tell them HMV
means 'Horse Meat Voucher'

Tesco are now testing all their vegetarian burgers for traces of unicorn

Anyone want a burger from Tesco? Yay or neigh?

"I've just checked the Tesco burgers in my freezer...AND THEY'RE OFF"

I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse....." I guess Tesco just listened.

Tesco now forced to deny presence of zebra in burgers, as shoppers confuse
barcodes for serving suggestions.

A cow walks into a bar. Barman says 'why the long face?' Cow says 'Illegal ingredients,
coming over here stealing our jobs!'

I hear the smaller version of those Tesco burgers make great horse d'oeuvres.

These Tesco burger jokes are going on a bit. Talk about flogging a dead.. NO! NO NO NO!

Said to the Mrs these Tesco burgers given me terrible trots

To beef or not to beef. That is equestrian.

A horse walks into a bar.
Barman says, 'Sorry mate, we don't serve food in here' .

 

[Nod]

Problems have been reported with some nut roasts - they contain traces of both uniquorn and horse chestnuts...

 

[Al1944]

So a man walks into a cafe and orders a Cheese Burger with fries.

The lady asks, would you like anything on it.

Yes says the man, I'll have £5 each way.

Superb!

 

[pepi1967]

So a man walks into a cafe and orders a Cheese Burger with fries.

The lady asks, would you like anything on it.

Yes says the man, I'll have £5 each way.

Classic

 

[Ian D J]

 

[u8myufo]