The light contamination over her face would mean it would be rejected if it were mine - though it may have been the photographer's intention to have that effect...
A better balance between daylight and fill-in flash would help eliminate this...
If you think of the window behind her as the 'main' light and the flash as 'filler' then there's too much light coming from the 'main'. The exposure needs to be adjusted so that the two light sources are the same or vary the ratio in favour of the flash, so that the window light becomes the 'filler'...
But as I say - it may have been the photographer's intention to leave it like this in a psuedo 'David Hamilton' stylee...(a much-overlooked photographer IMO, some would say tainted by his preference for very young-appearing models...)