How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

[Steep]

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young. We've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?

Border Collie: Just one? And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

German Shepherd: I'll guard the light bulb while you decide. Back off!

Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid light!

Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me!

Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Leave it for the servants.

Lab: Oh, me, ME!!! Pleeeeeeze let ME change the bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?

Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

CHOW CHOW: I'm with the malamute. After I take my nap that is!

AKITA: I'm with the chow and malamute! What's for dinner?

Jack Russell Terrier OR Wire-haired Fox Terrier: I can reach it! I just KNOW I can reach it! Another twenty jumps, and it's mine, ALL mine!!

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.

Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Kelpie: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, rrrrriiiiiiight there.

 

[Steep]

More light bulb jokes:

How many boring people does it take to change a lightbulb?
One

How many divorced men does it take to change a lightbulb?
Who cares? They're not getting to keep the house anyway.

How many straight San Franciscans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Both of them.

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
2, one to hold the giraffe, the other to fill the bathtub with brightly coloured machine parts.

How many Dadaists does it take to change a lightbulb?
To get to the other side

 

[WetSparks]

How many Health & Safety officers does it take to change a light bulb?

Duno, there still writing up the bloody risk analysis :rules:

 

[Witch]

How many Health & Safety officers does it take to change a light bulb?

Duno, there still writing up the bloody risk analysis :rules:

LOL - don't work in construction by any chance do you Wetsparks?!

 

[WetSparks]

Leisure facility maintenance :nuts:

 

[Witch]

Leisure facility maintenance :nuts:

Hmmmm......I can see your problems with 'em already! Lot of working at height in your job eh?!

bang: < WetSparks & Witch trying to deal with the HSE regulations!)

 

[WetSparks]

From 3m under water to the top of a 25m launch tower, not forgetting of course the 1000 odd metres of GRP flumes I 'let' the public chuck em selves down, nightmare :rules:

 

[Marcel]

LMAO Good stuff.
I haven't owned a dog for years, but I can definately relate to half of them..lol

 

[mrgubby]

How many Health & Safety officers does it take to change a light bulb?

Duno, there still writing up the bloody risk analysis :rules:

You've been watching me . Just been writing a Safety Method Statement on how to get a 3.5m wooden plank onto a 4m high flat roof .....


Splinters can be so dangerous :nono:

 

[Pete E]

Remember the old days when a risk analysis consisted your dad saying, "If you do that, its going to hurt!"

 

[mrgubby]

Remember the old days when a risk analysis consisted your dad saying, "If you do that, its going to hurt!"

But.....


Today you sue him if it's not in writing :nono:

I have one client who has a company RA for boiling a kettle to make Tea / Coffee :bang: