If I was prime minister, my manifesto would be...

Ross

Ross

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If you had the chance to change Britain, what would your manifesto be?

Completely hypothetical, no need to explain how or why it should be implemented

Here's mine

Bring back corporal punishment - if you steal a car you lose a hand, if you rape someone you lose your bits
Get rid of political correctness
Ban ambulance chasers and no-win, no-fee lawyers
Legalise all drugs, make them available over the counter at pharmacists and tax them
Tax the hell out of people who own more than 1 house
Raise higher rate of income tax to 60k
Income tax relief for people who have no kids at all, therefore are not contributing to overpopulation and using extra resources
Scrap inheritance tax altogether
Scrap speed cameras, employ more traffic cops instead
Raise speed limits to 120 on motorways with 3 lanes
Scrap road tax, put the tax on fuel instead
Scrap points for speeding, on the spot fines instead
Make driving test harder
Make middle lane hogging illegal
Close the borders to immigrants, deport existing ones
Leave the EU
Outlaw the phrases "global warming" and "carbon footprint"
Ban the press from reporting nonsense and naming suspects so they are guilty in the public's eyes before they've even seen a court

That'll do to start with
 
Stop interfering in the health service, tell patients they have unrealistic expectations and let a team of experienced nurses suggest a plan for the future.
 
Jimmy_Lemon said:
Sure you arent already the leader of the conservatives?
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BNP more like

deport immigrants?

how far back do we need to trace our families back to know if we need to go home? I hope its not too far because i dont speak any Italian.
my wife will need to go 'back home' so that leaves me with out a shag.
 
Thats pretty much got it covered as far as I am concerned 'cept
Raise speed limits to 120 on motorways with 3 lanes
may be a little too quick with some of the morons on the road 100 may be better
 
Just to comment on Ross' points:

Bring back corporal punishment - if you steal a car you lose a hand, if you rape someone you lose your bits - so if you are the person that has to cut their hands off, do you get your hand chopped too? and the person that chops yours hand?.. whole thing sounds like a step back to the dark ages. If someone apeals and is found not guilty are you going to sew their balls back on?

Get rid of political correctness - how?

Ban ambulance chasers and no-win, no-fee lawyers - damn right

Legalise all drugs, make them available over the counter at pharmacists and tax them - so the crack addicts need to steel more stuff to pay for them and end up running out of hands to get chopped off

Tax the hell out of people who own more than 1 house - damn right. This almost makes up for your 'send immigrants home' nonsense LOL

Raise higher rate of income tax to 60k - i can only wish that affected me

Scrap speed cameras, employ more traffic cops instead - put more red light cameras on traffic lights.

Raise speed limits to 120 on motorways with 3 lanes - so the wobbly 4x4s and people carriers can leap the central reservation even higher when they go out of control whilst trying to do their make up in the mirror / tune their iopd/ tell their kids off. Make the 3rd lane only accessible to decent cars with a low centre of gravity and make it 90 mph recommended speed with 100mph max

Scrap road tax, put the tax on fuel instead - couldnt agree more

Scrap points for speeding, on the spot fines instead - then even more footballers and their wives will be doing 170mph in cars they have no idea how to drive

Make driving test harder - make immigrants who plan to stay in the country longer than 6 months take a theory test before being allowed on the road.

Make middle lane hogging illegal - not sure how you are going to police that one, but i like it

Close the borders to immigrants, deport existing ones - errr

Leave the EU - i used to agree with that, but now i love being part of the EU. I'd find it hard if i had to pay duty on everything i import.

Outlaw the phrases "global warming" and "carbon footprint" - how can you outlaw phrases? burn books too?

Ban the press from reporting nonsense and naming suspects so they are guilty in the public's eyes before they've even seen a court - 100% agree

tbh i wouldnt know whether to vote for you or lead a military coup LOL


i'd make leaving chewing gum seats or tables an offence punishable by death!! (or maybe just tax chewing gum companies to pay to clean busses in london :) )
 
Yup - I'd agree in the main with most of those points.

I would add though;

Mandatory to be proud to be British
Mandatory English/Welsh/Scottish/Irish flags flying out of car windows
Red Arrows mandatory at Olympics 2012
Welsh costumes mandatory in Welsh playgroups and nurseries (ask if you want to know more)
Mandatory stopping and searching of those in cultural groups statistically proven to commit more crime - whatever the cultural grouping
Equal rights and fair arm of the law for all, not just for those in minorities
Life imprisonment for those carrying out or inventing politically correct concepts
Olympus E-510's for everyone :)
 
I'm not sure about raising the speed limit on motorways, and you've no idea how much it grieves me to say that!

The biggest stupidity is that 'L' drivers aren't allowed on motorways at all, so get no instruction at all. As it stands they can pass their test in a Nissan Micra, go and and buy any high performance car they can afford, and be hammering down the slip road to join the motorway the same day, with no experience of driving on there whatsoever.

Add into the mix that drivers get their tuition at all levels from the best professional instruction available, down to lessons from Uncle Bob or Auntie Gladys, and it's not difficult to see why motorways are the nightmare they are. Lots of people are dangerous as it is on there at the current limit, with no idea of signalling, lane changing discipline, and safe following distances.

Given the performance of just your average family car these days, I think 100mph would be a reasonable limit, but the sad truth is the current limit is set for the lowest common denominator - it's a lot easier than a huge driver re-education programme which just isn't going to happen.

EDIT.

And that's not ito mply I agree with all the other points raised. :D
 
Yeah, but look at it from the other angle. Raise the speed limit to 120 or 200

... after about 6 months the motorways would be an awful lot emptier


Darwin had some good ideas

:D
 
xynamic said:
blimey, i'm not really sure how much of this is meant to be taken seriously.

i thought i was on www.talklikeanazi.com for a moment
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Serious enough to be allowed to be British / Welsh / Scots and allowed to show that fact by flying flags on patrion saints days, hang friggin' Christmas lights without being told you are racist or offending some minority group that probably doesn't give a flying fig either way
 
xynamic said:
Just to comment on Ross' points:

Bring back corporal punishment - if you steal a car you lose a hand, if you rape someone you lose your bits - so if you are the person that has to cut their hands off, do you get your hand chopped too? and the person that chops yours hand?.. whole thing sounds like a step back to the dark ages. If someone apeals and is found not guilty are you going to sew their balls back on?

Get rid of political correctness - how?

Ban ambulance chasers and no-win, no-fee lawyers - damn right

Legalise all drugs, make them available over the counter at pharmacists and tax them - so the crack addicts need to steel more stuff to pay for them and end up running out of hands to get chopped off

Tax the hell out of people who own more than 1 house - damn right. This almost makes up for your 'send immigrants home' nonsense LOL

Raise higher rate of income tax to 60k - i can only wish that affected me

Scrap speed cameras, employ more traffic cops instead - put more red light cameras on traffic lights.

Raise speed limits to 120 on motorways with 3 lanes - so the wobbly 4x4s and people carriers can leap the central reservation even higher when they go out of control whilst trying to do their make up in the mirror / tune their iopd/ tell their kids off. Make the 3rd lane only accessible to decent cars with a low centre of gravity and make it 90 mph recommended speed with 100mph max

Scrap road tax, put the tax on fuel instead - couldnt agree more

Scrap points for speeding, on the spot fines instead - then even more footballers and their wives will be doing 170mph in cars they have no idea how to drive

Make driving test harder - make immigrants who plan to stay in the country longer than 6 months take a theory test before being allowed on the road.

Make middle lane hogging illegal - not sure how you are going to police that one, but i like it

Close the borders to immigrants, deport existing ones - errr

Leave the EU - i used to agree with that, but now i love being part of the EU. I'd find it hard if i had to pay duty on everything i import.

Outlaw the phrases "global warming" and "carbon footprint" - how can you outlaw phrases? burn books too?

Ban the press from reporting nonsense and naming suspects so they are guilty in the public's eyes before they've even seen a court - 100% agree

tbh i wouldnt know whether to vote for you or lead a military coup LOL


i'd make leaving chewing gum seats or tables an offence punishable by death!! (or maybe just tax chewing gum companies to pay to clean busses in london :) )
Click to expand...

I agree with most of those..Gaz for PM :p
 
CT said:
I'm not sure about raising the speed limit on motorways, and you've no idea how much it grieves me to say that!

The biggest stupidity is that 'L' drivers aren't allowed on motorways at all, so get no instruction at all.
Click to expand...

You may or may not be aware there is a "pass plus" where the newly qualified driver can elect to continue training to include motorways, yet seeing the standard of driving in "professional training cars" I am not so sure its a good idea after all
 
Cobra said:
Serious enough to be allowed to be British / Welsh / Scots and allowed to show that fact by flying flags on patrion saints days, hang friggin' Christmas lights without being told you are racist or offending some minority group that probably doesn't give a flying fig either way
Click to expand...

the only reason people are upset about that kind of thing is because they let the daily mail wind them up. if people want to wave flags or put up xmas lights no one really has a prob with it, not jews, not muslims, not hindus, only the daily mail (amongst others) who dont sell as many papers that day
 
xynamic said:
the only reason people are upset about that kind of thing is because they let the daily mail wind them up. if people want to wave flags or put up xmas lights no one really has a prob with it, not jews, not muslims, not hindus, only the daily mail (amongst others) who dont sell as many papers that day
Click to expand...

I don't read that daily mail so that was a bit lost on me :shrug:
 
Cobra said:

You may or may not be aware there is a "pass plus" where the newly qualified driver can elect to continue training to include motorways, yet seeing the standard of driving in "professional training cars" I am not so sure its a good idea after all
Click to expand...

Indeed I was aware. A definite step in the right direction, but it needs to be made mandatory. I was fortunate to be taught to drive on a 5 week course, with the test at the end of the 4th week, but then a further week sans 'L' plates, but still under instruction, concentrating on motorway driving and night driving.

The way people perform on there scares the crap out of me - they have no idea of the situations they put themselves in - tailgating at horrendous speeds with no chance of stopping, squeezing into tiny gaps between huge artics, usually with a token flick of the indicator after they've started the lane change, if they bother at all! :puke:
 
theMusicMan said:
Mandatory to be proud to be British
Mandatory English/Welsh/Scottish/Irish flags flying out of car windows
Click to expand...


What about Norn Iron then? :rules:

Oh... and I would make it illegal immigrants.

120 on the motorways and...
Everyone to take a motorcycle test before they drive a car.
 
CT said:
Indeed I was aware. A definite step in the right direction, but it needs to be made mandatory. I was fortunate to be taught to drive on a 5 week course, with the test at the end of the 4th week, but then a further week sans 'L' plates, but still under instruction, concentrating on motorway driving and night driving.

The way people perform on there scares the crap out of me - they have no idea of the situations they put themselves in - tailgating at horrendous speeds with no chance of stopping, squeezing into tiny gaps between huge artics, usually with a token flick of the indicator after they've started the lane change, if they bother at all! :puke:
Click to expand...

With you all the way on this CT I was an artic driver for several years / several years ago one entailed trunking spirit ( 4* etc, tells you how long ago that was :D) up an down motorways...... it now makes my test tickles retract just thinkin about some of the near misses I saw and the suicidal way that car drivers acted around lorries generally..... let alone one carrying 38,000L of flamable liquid....
but then lorry drivers were more curtious back then, but now its 6 of 1 half a dozen of the other...
Ah I digress.....soz Ross

 
We all know there are some cowboy lorry drivers about who drive by intimidation, but generally speaking I find them a courteous bunch. I attended an accident once where a little old lady in a Morris Minor swung right in front of a long flatbed artic, causing him to really anchor up. he was carrying a load of steel bars which came through the cab and cut him in half.

She was a really sweet little old dear, but I have to confess to just wanting to shut her air off. ;)
 
gwocni said:
Oh... and I would make it illegal immigrants.

[/COLOR]
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if you are a recent immigrant and you commit a crime above a certain level, then you should def be sent home, and have you passport taken away. unfortunately some immigrants do come here just to rip people off. we shouldnt have to pay for them to stay in our prisons or even put up with them
 
CT said:
We all know there are some cowboy lorry drivers about who drive by intimidation, but generally speaking I find them a courteous bunch. I attended an accident once where a little old lady in a Morris Minor swung right in front of a long flatbed artic, causing him to really anchor up. he was carrying a load of steel bars which came through the cab and cut him in half.

She was a really sweet little old dear, but I have to confess to just wanting to shut her air off. ;)
Click to expand...

Ouch, yep. I have heard a few stories like that, though technically its down to the driver, he may well have been prosicuted for an unsafe load had it been anyone other than him that got damaged :(
 
xynamic said:
if you are a recent immigrant and you commit a crime above a certain level, then you should def be sent home, and have you passport taken away. unfortunately some immigrants do come here just to rip people off. we shouldnt have to pay for them to stay in our prisons or even put up with them
Click to expand...

As we seem to be reaching a compromise in this thread so it doesn't get to out of hand and the mods shut it down :D can we not give the afore mentioned criminals a public flogging before removing them ? :D

Actually in all seriousness I remember when birching was allowed on the IOM no graffitti the place was spotless etc etc but I never lived there just spent a few very happy holidays....
 
Cobra said:
As we seem to be reaching a compromise in this thread so it doesn't get to out of hand and the mods shut it down :D can we not give the afore mentioned criminals a public flogging before removing them ? :D

Actually in all seriousness I remember when birching was allowed on the IOM no graffitti the place was spotless etc etc but I never lived there just spent a few very happy holidays....
Click to expand...


LOL a good compromise :)

we didnt vandelize (sp?) much when we were kids because if any adult caught us we would have got a good kicking.
 
One problem with the deportation of criminals. If they're a member of the EU you can deport them all you like but they're allowed straight back in, just look at the italian guy who killed phillip lawrence. You'd have to have a belt and braces approach to this.


First things first Prime Minister Ross can we re-write the human rights act please.
 
1) Tighter controls on immigration.........if you don't have a skill that's needed in the UK and aren't financially liquid, you don't get in. Nobody suggests Australia are nazi's for this sort of policy. This doesn't of course apply to genuine asylum cases.

2) Flat rate tax. On everything. Works well in sweden. They have one of the best social security systems in the world. OK, you pay for it, but you get a better quality of life Also to include higher rate of tax for fatty/preprepared foods.

3) Better restrictions on the sale of alcohol. Age of access raised to 21. ID must be shown for every purchase. National blacklist of known abusers/trouble makers to be refused sale. YOU'RE BARRED! Alright?

4) Drugs to be made freely available to those who have addictions. Removes the black market, lowers crime/death/disease transmission. Coupled with a decent support system for getting people off them. Something we lack.

5) Means test the NHS, only provided to the poorest people free. Everybody else to have health insurance, provided by government so no profiteering. Experienced NHS staff to run it. Not degree waiving management types.

6) Abandon National insurance in favour of the above and make private pensions mandatory.

7) Council tax, rates, inheritance tax all abandonded in favour of increased income tax with a supplemental local income tax. The only fair way.

8) All shops to be shut on sundays. I firmly believe the world would be a much better place if we had just one day spared from gross consumerism. Famillies would spend more time together, shop staff might get at least one day off over the weekend.

9) Shops barred from selling christmas products until the 1st of december. I mean, really. Does anybody buy advent calendars in September?

10) The daily mail forced to feature a person of diverse ethnicity on the front cover at least two days a week.

11) Chris Moyles to be Hung, drawn and quartered. I shouldn't need to explain this one.

12) TV transmitters to be turned off for 2 hours everyday.

think thats about it.


Doubt I'll get many votes but meh.
 
Two policies :

1) Stupidity Tax. You fall over in Tesco's car park? Can you sue? NO! You get a slap for not looking where you're going, and a £50 fine. You electrocute yourself shoving your tongue in a plug socket. Can you make a claim because the instruction manual specifically said you can't? NO! Cough up, socket licker, £50 please.

2) Involuntary sterilisation. Commit certain crimes? Show that you're not fit to become a parent? Off they come!



Im telling you, the country will see itself right in no time!
 
1) ban pedestrians and increase all national speed limits
2) Remove all sexual harrassment laws
3) Introduce national nude working day... Fat ugly people can stay at home!
4) Remove carbon restrictions on cars, so everyone can get petrol ones again and have some fun!!!
5) Finally Ban politics
:)
Vote for me! :)
 
I think I am off to vote for Gandhi with Marcel as his Home Secretary :D Ban ambulance chasers, let Darwinism take its natural course ;)


Another policy - ban 'traffic calming' methods, speed humps, road narrowing, mini roundabouts, etc, because all they do is create more congestion and more pollution and more road rage from frustrated drivers.

Add in dropping road tax and adding it onto fuel costs, raise motorway speed limits to 100mph, apart from mandatory 60 sections where learners will be taught, by law, proper motorway laws and manners before being allowed to pass a driving test. [not the voluntary pass plus as we have atm]


:naughty:
 
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