Forget that then.. you're right, that doesn't make sense.
Make sure the battery is in properly and there isn't a plastic cover over the contacts to stop it draining in transit.
Set your camera to the timer/remote setting - this is one of the buttons on the right of the rear screen (you'll have the option of one-shot, continuous or timer/remote).
Place your camera on a tripod or similar.
Compose your shot as normal, zooming and focusing etc.
Aim the remote at sensor which is below the normal shutter button and press the S button on the remote to take a shot. Use the 2S button to get a two second delay to allow you to drop your arm if you're taking self portraits.
EDIT - ignore the buttons on the bottom half of it, they don't do anything on an SLR!