It's a sad day

Sherlock_Holmes

Sherlock_Holmes

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Stuart Fox
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Well my mother has dementia and paranoia i have looked after here for 20 years since my dad died over the last 5 years she has bean deteriorating but this last 6 months deteriorated rapidly and gnaw i have had to make that terrible decision to but her in a home where professional people can take care of here, along time ago i promised here i would never do this but i just cant deal with it any more it is playing on my health but i still feel very guilty its terrible to se some one you love wasting away with this type of illness, so she is going in the home tomorrow morning its going to be very hard for me to tell here,and its going to be a sad weak end,love you mum
Stuart:crying:
 
Hey Stuart cheer up m8. You are doing what's best for you mum and I am sure she will feel much better and have a speedy recovery under the watchful eye of professionals.

:hug:
 
Don't feel bad about this Sherlock; you have done a fantastic job so far, but you will be no use to her if your health were to fail now. You will be able to support her more this way, as you won't be exhausted all the time. Give yourself a hug...:hug: ....you deserve it.
 
Sorry to hear of your dilemma, Stu I am sure it was a really tough dicision to make and one I would hate to make! but there comes a time when tough calls have to be made for the good of all concerned!
 
I agree with the above comments. If she was able to look at the whole picture she would probably agree with your actions as she would not want to affect your own well being. Sure that doesn't make it much easier but there really is no easy choices there. Good luck mate!
 
Awww Stuart. How sad for you. I can see how much you love her, you are doing your very best for her.

I know in an ideal world it isnt what you want, or what she wanted.

But you are doing the best thing a son could do for his mother, to get her the best care possible, even if hurts like hell.

Youve done a brilliant job, caring for her for the last 20 years, and I bet she really appreciated that till her illness got worse.

I can see how sad you are, but you havent let her down in any way.... be proud, youve done the best a son can do for his mother. :hug:
 
Thanks i really appreciate it, you people are the best. love TP and all you people
Stuart:)
 
Just call our names and we will be there :)
 
I read your post with sadness Stuart and like the other members who have replied I agree that you have done your best by your mum and your love for her shines through! Be strong and know you're doing the right thing!
 
I agree with what the others have said and while it hurts like heck now it will be so much easier for you to enjoy the time you have with your mother when you aren't exhausted. You did the right thing
Big hug from me!
 
Dark Star said:
I read your post with sadness Stuart and like the other members who have replied I agree that you have done your best by your mum and your love for her shines through! Be strong and know you're doing the right thing!
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I agree, its must be hard to do it, but its for the best.
 
Don't beat yourself up, you've done everything you could for a long time. It's best for you and it's best for your mom. :)
 
I am pretty sure that if your mum could understand and say something about it, she would be telling you are doing the right thing. You have given her 20 years of care and you should be very very proud of that. As has already been said, you will enjoy time with her now more knowing she is geting the best possible care and that you yourself are not so shattered and feeling ill with all. Best wishes for this weekend, and Have a big hug from me, you deserve it!
 
:hug: I can totally empathise with you on this one. You have done a fantastic job and I'm sure your mum will be proud of you. Twenty years is a long time to be anyone's carer. You are only doing what is best for the both of you, and as others have already said, if you are ill, who is gonna care for your mum then? You have to look after yourself too!
Myself and my mum were my grans sole carers (for about 6 years) right up to the time she passed away. My mum refused to put her in a home, but she ended up going into hospital in the end (which she didn't want). It wasn't nice, but it gave us the peace of mind that someone was with her 24/7 and she was getting the care she needed, without the pair of us being knackered.
I know this will be difficult for both yourself and your mum, and you'll probably feel a little lost not doing all the daily things you've done for her over the years. Don't beat yourself up about it - you are doing this because you love her, and I'm sure anyone else in your situation would have done this long before now.
 
hey listen you can still visit your mum plus she'll be in the best possible place with all the medics and staff to keep an eye her. I know it's a tough one but sometimes you have to do the very thing you wish you never had to do.

Chin up mate you're doing the right thing.
 
Can't add anything else mate, A sad weekend ahead but you have done yourself and your mum proud.;)

Wishing her a speedy recovery and as CT said, Don't beat yourself up, You have done good over the past years, Much more than we all know about...:)
 
Cannot agree more than what has allready been said.

You will enjoy the time spent with your mother even more knowing she is being well cared for.

It will feel strange for a while .... But nobody here thinks you're doing the wrong thing.

Take care
 
Dementia is cruel and it's a terrible thing to have to watch loved-ones suffer with it.

I can only add my agreement with what everyone else has said and I'll be thinking about you over the weekend :hug:
 
All the good folks above have said it far better than I can. May I wish you & your mother nothing but peace for the future. It will be hard for you but as the others have said if you make yourself ill then you are no help to your mother.
 
All I can add Stuart ... fwiw ... is for the last 20 years you have done so much more than many a Son would have ... and you know the time has come to do the best thing for both of you now ... and you are doing it :shrug:

Your Mum will be properly cared for 24/7 and you can get yourself together and help your Mum in a different way from here on ... ;)

Pecker up m8 ... :hug:





:p
 
Tough call Stuart, it's only natural to feel the way that you do. I'm sure you'll see that she receives the care that she needs and will visit her as often as you can, take her out for the day when she's able to.
Go easy on yourself, I'm sure your Mum would want what's best for you eh?
You're doing what's best for her.
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Think about what you have done for your Mum already. Think about the care and love she gave you. You have enriched each other's lives. You cannot avoid some sadness. Hold your head up.
 
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