Just had "that" question

TCR4x4

TCR4x4

Wishes he had a couple more Inches
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Tom
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Ever since the phone call 2 weeks ago announcing their rush wedding mid October due to her falling pregnant, I've been waiting for it.

Yep, I'm the guy with the camera, so I'm instantly the goto guy for the wedding photos. Although she did state before dropping the w bomb I was under no pressure to do it.

I don't want to do it really, although her best friend who also announced her wedding on the same day, but not until December 2013 has already asked me and I've semi agreed.

It's too soon, I don't have the right gear, no backup camera bar the x100, no flashgun, and no experience.

I've told her that, and told her I'd take my gear, but strictly as guest and not as a photographer. She knows someone else who did another friends wedding and did an average job and will ask them, but now I feel bad. My wife is giving it to me in the neck as "I'm a great photographer, and could easily do it".
The friend sounded disappointed and I know the guy she has lined up isn't really very good.

Grrr I hate owning a camera sometimes.
 
I had that happen to me twice, It was a bit scary but it all went fine both times and I learnt so much, really focussed my mind and i read up every thing I could on here lol. I think once you explain all the pitfalls to the persons asking you to do it and they tell you they understand its not so bad. I think you are clearly a talented person behind a camera and to be honest its hard to b****r it up on reflection. We(I) are not pro togs and so i concentrated on candids and fun shots, ok i relied on auto most of the time but took so many shots ha. You can chimp and you know what to change and look out for and check etc. I had a back up camera so didnt stress over that. If you do give it a go you will honestly be proud of yourself and almost enlightned in a strange tog way? Hope it all works out for you..............I know it will have faith buddy! Kind regards
 
Cheers buddy.
I've seen the examples of the guy who she is asking and I'm horrified. They are poor at best, so I am reconsidering, but still strictly on a "guest with camera" basis, rather than the "photographer"
I honestly thought they were guest snaps with a compact, but alas no, she just told me he took them with his DSLR and worst still, charged for it. . I know I can do better, even if I ballsed it up, I'd still do a better job I reckon.
 
I enjoy landscape/city/urban and was asked to photograph my daughter's wedding on Saturday.

I won't do it again. I'm not a people person...:D technically I was OK but directing people was a :shake: for me.

The PPing took all Sunday and I missed loads of photographs.

My advice?? Go with your gut...but it wasn't easy :eek: But be straight with the couple and soon.

Cheers.
 
The fuji is actually a fine camera and would be a decent back up.

If you can take better photos with your eyes shut then you may as well go as a guest and out do the guy with no pressure on you :)
 
Get her to hire you some glass and a flash gun in. Will make the job better and not cost her much?

Then pass your x100 around for the other guests to take snaps of each other (joke)
 
I've been lurking on these forums for 6 months or so and there are some Posters who I look out for and always read because they speak sence, have a balanced view on a subject, and seem to know what they are talking about - you are one of them.
I've looked at your Flickr pages and based on them suggest that you should do it for the following reasons:
1 it will give you another dimension to your experience. We've all looked at Wedding shots and thought "I could do better than that" - now's your chance to prove it if only to yourself
2
 
sorry pressed the wrong key before finishing the thread, my fingers sometimes take a life and intention of their own !!!!
2 You've hedged your bets by suggesting you'll go as a guest and take shots, so you've nothing to loose but your own self respect - go for it full on and enjoy the occassion.
Let us know how it went and more importantly post some of the shots - remember the only people who will tear your your efforts apart are other budding photographers, as long as the B&G are happy who really cares what others think.
Just my two penneth for what its worth
 
TCR4x4 said:
but still strictly on a "guest with camera" basis, rather than the "photographer"
Click to expand...


The problem is... thats how you see it .. believe me that wont be how they see it no matter how much they nod and agree... your coming and your bringing your camera... thats enough for them whatever you label it....

Unless you have some wierd inkling to do this I think you need to be firm and say no! although you may have already crossed the line and too late....erk
 
Are there any wedding togs on here that you could offer to be a 2nd/3rd shooter for one weekend to try and get a heads up of what your letting yourself in for? Could you get someone (the wife for instance if she is giving you the 'you could easily do it' line) to be your crowd control/organisation for the group shots?
 
Maid of honour/best man are usually good for crowd control as they know most people (or maybe just the difficult younger ones).
 
I'd say go for it as long as the bride is under no illusions that you are a wedding 'newbie' and aware that you might not get everything that a good pro wedding tog would.Like the idea above that she covers the cost of a few bits for hire,can't be a bad idea as I presume she is getting you for nothing.Also a good idea getting the best man/bridesmaids/ushers involved in doing some of the organising(or even your better half?),might take some pressure off.
Also as a side issue if you agree you could say to the missus 'well I can only do this if I get a flash,new lens etc;might be a good way to get some new kit without the earache:lol:.
 
Is your wife aware that if you do it, you won't spend much time at all with her as you will be working the whole day.

Also you won't be able to have a drink, points to bear in mind.
 
Its a tough call, doit and you will be in fear of screwing up, not enjoy the day and be working.

Don't do it and the Bride could end up upset with duff photos from a pants photographer and will you feel bad?

The taking your camera as a guest won't work as she will get someone else so all your shots will be over the shoulder of the official or not be quite right or as you would want as the official set them up etc and eyes will be all over.

I personally would explain the situation that its not your thing but going off what the other guy produced you can't do any worse so as long as she is willing to accept that then have a go and prove to yourself that you can do it and be better than the guy selling himself as a wedding photographer. As for the kit you have see if she will pay for the hire or try and borrow some kit?
 
I've been taking photographs now for more years than I would care to admit to, have backup cameras, load of lenses and lighting kit, and I still wouldn't agree to be the main photographer at a wedding.

It's a one off occasion with no room for error and I'm just a coward for not wanting to have to deal with all the hassle that goes with a shoot of that nature.
 
Thanks for all the comment guys lots to digest and think about!

To answer a few points/comments.

The bride is under no illusion that I have any experience shooting weddings. Ive told her straight that "I dont do people" many times.
In fact only a few months ago when I started pushing myself into street photography, we had a discussion about how I would hate to do a wedding. This was before she knew she was up the duff and her dream wedding was a long way off. She helped me out getting into the street stuff and knew how hard I found it at first.

Although Im sure there is an element there that she really wants me to do it, I know her well enough to know she wont be upset if I say no. However I also know that if I did do it, and it didint go as well as I hoped, she wouldnt bear a grudge, she just isnt like that. I believe in myself just enough to know I could get some good shots, my fear/doubts is something going wrong, or missing a cruicial moment due to lack of experience. Ive only ever been to three weddings, one of them was mine, so Im not really experinced in the whole "wedding process" as a guest, yet alone a photographer. I have howveer spent many, many hours viewing pictures on here and elsewhere of other weddings, so I have some idea of "the shots" that are expected.

The last wedding I attended was my brothers, in May. I wasnt asked nor expected to be a photographer, I was purely a guest and I took my Panny GF1 and 20mm lens just to get some snapshots. They had hired a photographer from my Sister in law's native Holland. She had a brand spanking new D800, mounted with a 24-70, and thats it.
I was highly concerned at the time, that there was no direction, even my wife said the same. Everyone was just milling about, and despite being in some glorious surroundings, there were no group photos taken, no set photos of the guests or of the parents/bride etc.. I actually took upon myself with my GF1 to get the shots I could see the official photographer just wasnt taking. If it wasnt for me, there would be no photo of the bride and groom with my 80 year old grandparents, or with both sets of parents, or of the other guests. The official photographer was just focused on the B&G soley.
My point being, I could see what was needed and did it.. However saying that, there was no pressure to expect me to do it, which could have made my head clearer.

My wife is going to be a bridesmaid, so Im not going to see/be with her anyway for the majority of the wedding, so In a way its actually a blessing to give me something to do rather than be billy no mates at the back. I dont really know her other friends that well, the ones I do know well are also bridesmaids.

I promised myself this year would be the year I pushed myself out of my comfort zone. I spent 6 months of 2011 stuck inside my house, unable to move after major surgery and it felt like such a waste.. As I mentioned, I started doing some street photography, something I really didnt feel comfortable doing, but the more I did it, the better it felt. I handled the one incident I had calmly and professionally.

I will need some extra gear, I dont have a flash gun, and I could really do with another body to mount a wider lens, as my 70-200 will be mounted to my D700. I cant afford to buy a body outright, so I will need some finacial input from the bride. She has already said she will pay, however how much I dont know yet... Around £300 I would guess at.

I have very kindly been offered by Yv a second shooter/dogsbody position at an upcoming wedding in September, I need to check my diary, and it is the other side of the country which isnt ideal, but the experience will certainly help.

I feel more confident having slept on it, and the thought of her paying for the tat I saw from the other wedding would make me sick to the stomach.

To sum up, I think Im going to go for it, I feel more like I want to now, I feel like it will push me forward, Ive been bumbling along for many years, just shooting for myself, never getting anything out of it other than a few stock sales and a "nice image" comment every now and then. It would be a huge boost to my confidence and lets be honest, my ego, to have my photos really admired and cherished by someone.
I havent got any proper photos of my wedding, just snapshots from guests, and it does bother me at times. It would have been nice to have some proper images to look back on in 30-40 years or whatever.

So, I'll talk to her tonight and see.. I noticed on Faceache someone sent her a link to the other photographer from the other wedding, so I need to make up my mind and get in there quick If I decide to do it to save her a lot of money and crappy photos.
 
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