Melt the face off a Chiwawa

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BarryDawsib

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The Rock Star Formally Known As Dawson
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Was one totally random off the cuff comment I made about a cars heating on a photoshoot which went down with a surprising amount of laughter! :lol:

Of course might have been helped by the fact it was on location and very cold!

I know I have a habit of making odd comments that many have to stare, think about and more often then not do get a laugh!

But its made me wonder, what kinda things do others say in conversation?
particularly on a shoot to get laughs or just to break the ice.

AND its sunday, a day off, and ime looking for a couple of laughs and possably one liners for a future routine!
 
she's / he's got a face like a clumsy beekeeper... was always one of my favourites!

<move to 'out of focus'>
 
actually.. perhaps its not the best phrase to use on a photoshoot :bonk:
 
Got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp or like a monkey having a ****.

My mate's favourite was, she's got a face like a pig sucking a lemon.
 
Any of you people know how to work one of these (points to camera)?
 
Face like a bulldog licking poness off a thistle.
 
Face like a bulldog liking p... off a nettle.

Butter-face, which basically means everything is fine but her face. :lol:

I'm a nice lad really.
 
The kind of face you can punch all day and never get bored

A perfect face for chopping wood

The kind of face that could curdle concrete

One a Glaswegian friend came out with - he's got a face like a battered fart!

Another friend's son was banned from his local pub when he told the rather miserable landlady "If my dog looked like you, I'd paint a face on its a***e and teach it to walk backwards."
 
A face like a smacked arse.
 
'like a tramp on chips' - used to describe anybody who is very passionate about something

Rich
 
I got on the bus the other day and asked for a return ticket. The driver said "Where to?" and I said "Back here, of course!"
 
gm43uk said:
I got on the bus the other day and asked for a return ticket. The driver said "Where to?" and I said "Back here, of course!"
Click to expand...

Get that one almost every day... I always reply that will be £17.20 then please.

Another I get just as often is where do you stop in town to which I reply "at the bus stops"

Or how long will the next bus be we answer the same length as this one.
 
Fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
 
Face like a roof tilers nail bag, a particular favourite of mine.
First heard it when describing the then to be wife of a famous person who'd been divorced and whose previous wife had died in a car crash.
Seemed about right.

Matt
 
Looks like his/her face was on fire and someone put it out with a shovel.

Someone beat him/her with the ugly stick
 
Disqualified from the human race for shoving

(god bless you Terry Pratchett)
 
The last time I saw a mouth like that there was a hook in it.

A great face for haunting houses

I wouldn't say they had buck teeth but they're the only person I know who could eat an apple through a tennis raquet

What are you going to use for a face now that Quasimodo wants his a***e back?
 
A few from Groucho Marx

I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception

She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot

You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury
 
She has the perfect face for radio.

So ugly they feed her with a catapult.
 
A face like a spanner ........ my nuts tighten every time I look at her :D
 
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Fat?..... More chins than a pile of crumpets..
 
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