Kind of wishing I'd never asked
I'm not trying to big or clever, I'm not here to brag about my amazing photos - because I'm not taking amazing photos. I'm just trying to learn what the ISO, aperture and shutter speed settings do and how the correlate. I'm most likely wrong and should be using Av mode and leaving camera to handle the ISO too, but I don't know how I'm learning why the camera is choosing the settings it's choosing, and what would happen if they were set to one stop either side. That's why I asked if their were rules you all learnt, or if you chose one setting and balanced the other two, or if you just instinctively knew what to set them too. I know it's all about practice, when I'm not caring for my disabled kids I'm reading, watching and spending time using the camera in different locations with different lighting conditions.
When the camera was controlling the ISO setting I could see the correlation with the shutter speed and aperture, but I didn't understand why it had chosen that setting. I know the answer is 'because it works' and it gives the correct exposure, but correct how, and what happens if it was set to something different? If I would learn more about the camera and how everything works by putting it in Av and letting the camera manage the ISO then I would, but will I really in the long run? This isn't rhetorical, would I learn more or not? If I would then I'll do it, and I can learn other stuff as there is still a lot to get my head round. I'm just worried that later I'll come unstuck and wish I'd learnt how to control it all manually.
I'm going to share my reasons for learning photography with you all, then you maybe can see my intentions are not all bad and I'm not here to brag. As I said from the beginning (my 'hello my name is Marc' post) I have disabled children. Three of them, and life is pretty tough. I've had to stop work to become a full time carer, and I've suffered with my mental health over the years. It gets to you, I worry every single day about their future, I won't live forever, and if it's from the physically exhausting caring or just bad luck m not sure, but I am also not well. I'm really hoping this doesn't mean I will die younger, but it might.
When I was forced to give up my career I decided to set up a project to help carers and disabled children. It started with me and a lot of hard work, and grew into a successful little charity. After 7 years I was physically exhausted and needed to get away as it was taking over a lot of my life so I moved down south to live in the middle of nowhere with my family and concentrate on them. But im bored, I need something in my life to stop me going insane.
The hardest stuff I ever had to deal with when I had the charity was supporting a parent when their child died. What the F do you say? It won't 'be alright', and you absolutely can't make it better. So I did what I was good at, raised a shed load of cash to give to the family to help make life a little bit easier. Holiday for the family, a car because their motability car had been snatched back by the insensitive people a few days after the child had passed away, help to pay for the funeral, or a headstone for their littlun. I didn't do it to look good, and I never got paid a penny or took expenses, I ran the charity because I could I guess, I wanted to help.
Moving to Devon I made friends with a family and then watched their total devastation as their little princess died too young. She had significant disabilities but everyone was hopeful she had many years ahead of her, sadly she got poorly and her illness took her life. I had nothing to say, I couldn't help, and I no longer had the ability to raise money to support them.
What I do know is they had very few lovely pictures of their little girl, and the same went for families I've known in the past. It's often a massive regret for families when they lose their child. Not all disabled children are poorly and have such a fragile life - my kids are healthy thankfully - but in my case getting a picture of my 13 year old son is virtually impossible. No way would he sit for a portrait shoot, the only pics I have of him are candid when he doesn't know anyone has a camera. He won't sit still for a second, and his understanding is too limited to bargain or bribe - he is non-verbal and doesn't understand much, if anything. This isn't unusual, most families with disabled children don't have 'nice' pictures of their kids, they can't get them to sit and they are not a priority - as families with disabled children we are too busy fighting the system and getting what we are entitled to. It's also an expensive luxury. Sadly this means for some of us that we just won't ever have nice pics of our kids, and if the worst was to happen then.... Well yea, you get the idea.
Lastly, working with disabled children is a constant challenge, you have to know how to communicate with them, some are non-verbal so you need to know Makaton (a basic form of sign language), you need to know how to entertain them, you need to be able to ask difficult questions of the parents. Do they want the scar hidden or displayed proudly, can they sit still or is that not possible, do they want the tubes in the picture? That's before you would get the camera out and know how to use that. Then there is lighting, some kids may having photosensitive epilepsy that mean flash photography could literally kill them. A lot of children will want to take the camera and play with it, or push the lights over, or climb into he big bag. This isn't usually a hyperactive toddler, this could be a 16 year old 6' 20 stone man who wants to sit on your lap and give you cuddles.
So I made a decision to learn how to take a half decent photograph so I could do something nice. I'm not setting up a business to make money from these families, I plan on setting myself up so I can give them lovely memories totally free of charge. I'm not competing with the professionals here as far as I'm aware, and I certainly wouldn't make out I was the best photographer. I've got a few families who have already agreed to let me take some pics of their kids when I'm ready in return for being able to show others the pics I've taken. It doesn't make for a great business model, no income and having your portfolio full of pics with disabilities, scars, birth defects and tubes coming from their faces isn't going to make someone want to book me for their wedding. And I just really don't care, I don't want to photograph weddings actually (as I tried to explain in a previous topic!), what I plan on doing is offering every single family in Devon with a child with special needs or a disability some photographs that they may not otherwise have the chance to own.
Please don't all tell me I can't do it yet, I'm not going to start until I know what I'm doing, and then I need to buy equipment of course, but some day it's what I absolutely will do. There is no catch for the families, it's not a clever sales tactic, they will get all the pics I've taken that are usable (that wouldn't be very many just now!) but we'd choose several family pics and some of the child/children to get printed and give them. The parents would get a special picture each for their purse or wallet, Nans and Grandads would get a picture each, and the child would get a special framed picture of their family to keep by he side of their bed. That's something nice for them to be able to take into hospital if they need to go in for treatments. Sure I could sell pics, give them some and let them buy others, but for me then it comes across as a sales thing. I may well let them have extra pics at cost price, too early to decide, but the shoot and a small collection of pics would always be free.
I'm not poor, but I couldn't afford to do that for long, there are hundreds of families across Devon with disabled children, probably well over a thousand, and then there are the families with adult kids - I'd love to help them too. So what I'm hoping is other families may like what I'm offering and want to book me for a portrait session that they would pay for. It would be a social enterprise, not a charity, not a business. I can then use the profits to fund the costs of giving to the families with disabled children, and anything left over would go into trust so that when my partner and I are no longer around our three children have a little security for their future. Chances are they won't be able to work and earn a living, so if they don't have plenty of money then the local would manage their care and put them in whichever home was offering the cheapest price.
Being a full time carer limits what work I can do, I need something to keep me busy, and id love to be able to put money away for my children for the future as I constantly worry about what will happen to them when I'm not here to protect them.
If people genuinely think I could learn with the camera taking some of the work on and I'd still have all the skills I'd ever need for the future then absolutely I'll do it, but I've read so many people say contradictory things. I've been told it can take years to be good enough, that it will never happen, that learning on anything but manual is t learning, hat I need to learn it all, but now that maybe I can let the camera manage some of the decisions. Trust me, if there is a shortcut or a tip to learn quicker I really want to take it, but I don't want to find myself trying to take some pictures for a family and not understanding what I need to do to make the shot work. I've got to learn all about lighting and setting up for a shoot, so I have a huge amount to learn.
I guess I'm just asking for the right advice and a little support if possible, I have no hidden agenda, I'm telling you all how it is now - I didn't say it before because I was sure I'd be told I couldn't do it, but I'm doing it anyway one way or another, so I'd just really appreciate any help on offer. I'm really not ignoring anyone but it's hard to know which way to go when you get conflicting advice.
None of this is to be big, clever or masochistic, I just want to learn how to take good photographs so I can do something nice, that's all.
