The issue with ND grad filters on a TLR is, obviously, that you can never get the position of the filter correct with any real degree of certainty on account of the completely separate optical systems. You would have to mount the filter on the VF lens and try and note it's position before placing it onto the imaging lens.
As for mounting it up upside down (I assume this is what you mean by reversing it), I would assume this is incorrect. It does seem completely counter-intuitive to me, but happy to be proven wrong however!