Sorry I didn't see the original so I am unable to compare, and see how much you have improved on it.... but to be honest it's still to bright and I don't think you will be able to recover the lost detail in the blown areas. From what I've read when trying to get a shot like this using natural light its best to do it on a cloudy day so that the light isn't too strong.
It also appears that the focus is on the shoulder and not the face, either that or it was a slow shutter speed... not sure but wiser people on here may be able to help.
Sorry if this comes across very negative, but I've tried to be constructive, and I can see what you were trying to get so you have the right idea.
Hope this helps
Lee