Critique Photo for my evening class

Steve

Steve

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Would love some critique on this please. It's one I intend to use as one of the 10 images I need to submit for my evening class (city and guilds level 3).

Taken on Hasselblad 500Cm with 150mm Planar lens on Fuji Acros.

Thanks in advance.


Onassis by SteveGam, on Flickr
 
Yikes...this doesn't look very good here for some reason; looks better in flickr; seems to have been oversharpened in transfer and some wierd moire like effect has appeared on hand that doesnt show on original.
 
If you make sure that there is detail on the highlight on his face in the final print, then I would say it's pretty damn good! At the moment there's no detail there which really lets it down IMO.

Lovely lighting though. Maybe I would have preferred to see a hint of the upper face, but that's just taste. :)
 
You know what sometimes images work even if there is a tiny bit of over exposure

I love it!
 
Apart from the ever so slightly too bright bit on the cheek, I love it. Great pose with an air of mystery, wish I could take portraits like this. Top work Steve lad.
 
It's a great picture Steve.

Although, I also think it could be improved by having some detail in the highlight on the face. There also appears to be a vertical black line running down the centre of the picture, I suspect that this may be a scanning issue but I find it distracting.

There is also, in the bottom left of the picture two vertical "marks" for want of a better word (I don't know what they are), personally I think you could lose them.

Feel free to ignore everything I have said above, except for the first sentence, as I know nothing about portraiture. :)
 
Thank you all for the great comments.

The print I will be submitting is from the darkroom, and doesn't have the highlights blown. I tried scanning the negative twice, but for some reason they got blown. My fault I'm sure, as I've experienced problems in the past with my scanning technique and this negative was a little on the thin side. I can't see a black line on my laptop screen, but maybe another scanning issue.

Tried re-loading to flickr to see if it works:


Onassis by SteveGam, on Flickr
 
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Steve, the full-frame flickr version comes up very nicely, showing tones that are not visible in either of the versions here. It's a really dramatic shot, and I love the line of the hat brim coming down, and the arrow of light on the cheek pointing up. Personally I'd suggest a version with the tiniest lift in the face region, so it's still really really dark (eg like the shirt collar area in the fullsize version) but not completely blacked out. It may be just me, but I'm getting an uncomfortable frisson as to whether the hat is really fully on his head, perhaps since I can't really see the angle of his face. I suspect that what I'm thinking of will come out in the final print, anyway. Don't get me wrong, it's black magic anyway!
 
Can't see much difference between the flickr version and this.

It looks too dark, pulling it up a bit is just gonna blow that hot spot even more.

You could probably do something with the wet print dodge/burn but it does look under/thin.

IMO, I think the lighting is a bit strong/concentrated, maybe a little subtle diffusion and exposure...:)
 
Thanks for the great feedback everyone. Have posted some others and this in the TF&C section.
 
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